Bruce unexpectedly went into the hospital today, due to blood pressure problems and a dangerously low heart rate. The situation caused clotting around the dialysis graft in his arm, so now he’ll need to have it corrected tomorrow with a procedure in Lexington.
Minor setback
April 3rd, 2008
Various & Sundry, part seventy-two
March 1st, 2008My log is currently suspended for the annual March Experiment.
— Month of February workout totals: Swim-3; Bike-2; Run-3; Lift-2; Yoga-0; Pilates-3; Lupus-1
— If I accomplish nothing else over the next 30 days, I must find “the means.” I won’t try to define exactly what that means (hey, is that a pun?), but most of you know what I’m talking about. It can look like ferocity, but mere ferocity is no match for the kind of unrelenting competitive intensity that Uncle Don held out as mark of the victorious spirit. Well, maybe I did just define it. All I know right now is that I need to regain the source of it, and the man who coined the term is in the hospital and probably dying. He is my Godfather, and from him I inherit the challenge of “the means.” James and I were talking about him this morning when we accompanied Joan to inspect Joe’s Riverland. It was a wonderful outing that combined the gentle Lamb of March and memories of our lost Clansmen with an enduring camaraderie that is too rarely enjoyed (and I don’t mean scarce, but rare). I’m so glad we did it.
— Speaking of Joan: she uncovered this NPR feature that makes me think we might have been among the last of the “Oldenday Players.” This closing thought sums up the sad, ironic state of current affairs:
…in the rush to give children every advantage—to protect them, to stimulate them, to enrich them—our culture has unwittingly compromised one of the activities that helped children most. All that wasted time was not such a waste after all.
— Wow, did I ever miss the mark at the end of January when I failed to predict that the majority of Democrats were finally ready to kick their Clinton habit! Rather than Senator Obama’s campaign suffering from too many losses in too many states, it appears that the exact reverse has taken place, and now Hillary faces the need to complete an urgent end-zone bomb to stay in contention. Too bad that more conservative Republicans didn’t rally to Romney sooner and offer to the nation the kind of clear ideological choice that a Barack-vs-Mitt face-off would provide.
— Dadbo once gave us an item of firm advice: never work through a general contractor. He learned that lesson the hard way when he and Mombo built our house on the Shoop Road lot. The truth of his warning was born out last week by my experience with one of our clients who’s completing a new dental office. Due to the construction manager’s faulty information and his cover-my-butt attitude, what could have been a perfectly handsome interior wall treatment will fall short of what we worked to achieve on our client’s behalf. It makes me wonder how many other compromises they were forced to swallow in order to get the doors open on time. But maybe I’m missing the whole point—they did what they needed to do to achieve a massive relocation, with a net gain of significant improvement. What’s wrong with me? Done is better than perfect!
— On Saturday, March 8th, the Community Arts Center will hold its annual benefit and live art auction. According to the Center’s promotional material, the artwork is from some of the area’s top artists, and I can’t disagree with that, even if the list includes your humble correspondent. The online photo gallery offers sneak previews of artwork that will be on the block, and they did a good job of putting together that feature for the Website. The mixed-media collage I donated, Then Sings My Soul, was created nearly a year ago for KOSMOS: Discovery and Disclosure.
— Go back another year to the first March-X and that’s when I helped organize some local cyclists that would form the B.I.K.E. | Boyle County group. On March 11th, the local organization devoted to cleaning up and preserving Clark’s Run (C.R.E.E.C.) will host a community forum that will focus on trails and greenways. B.I.K.E. has not only promoted the idea of safer, more bicycle-friendly streets and roads in Boyle County, but has always hoped to collaborate with community partners as a catalyst for planning a network of shared-use byways and connecting trails.
Yesterday I finished a draft of our comprehensive recommendations to kick-start the development of a community master plan that envisions much more than the construction of a few off-street recreational trails. The process will take leadership, commitment, and years of effort. Available funding will go to the localities which combine a strategic vision with constituent support. It’s a challenging goal, but many places have already done it. Some of you know that from your travels and vacations. Those communities improved the quality of life for their populations and, at the same time, attracted visitors, new residents, and employers. Can we do it here? Stay tuned. Bye, everybody!
For the despondent, every day brings trouble;
for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.
—Proverbs 15:15 (New Living Translation)
The “kk dilemma” plus another March-X
February 29th, 2008I think I’ve accepted that happiness is not a state, but an event that should be savored each time it occurs. May we all be blessed with many regular occurrences, and learn how to pursue their arrival.
Kyle is right, and probably Caitlan knows it deep within, but part of coming to terms with that eternal “kk dilemma” is understanding that we aren’t called to perfect ourselves with a single endeavor or cycle of accomplishment. It’s more about the will to strive—and the steady commitment to a more difficult path—than it is the measure of any product at intervals along the way.
There’s one thing this graybeard has learned—the key is Balance. But, as I’ve so often stated, “Easier said than done.”
I recall a time in my own studies when I received the second of my two most treasured letters from Dadbo. The first was when I was an adolescent, but this second note was in response to my angst at the tremendous rigor of my undergraduate program. I could dig out the correspondence and include a quotation, but I won’t. In some ways, the message that sticks with me now (and always) remains more profound. He took time to reinforce for me the old wisdom of “all work and no play.” It was a lesson about Balance—a lesson that he was still learning at an age (then) that was a bit less than mine (now). Within a relatively short time, he would suffer his first heart attack. Easier said than done.
Nobody worth listening to will tell us the journey toward balanced self-refinement is an easy one. I’ve had my periods of 60-to-70-hour work weeks, as well as my indulgent—and ultimately pointless—excursions into doubt, fear, and denial. I guess it’s part of the terrain, or it was for me. Sometimes there is no discernible outward difference between compulsive depletion and focused commitment, or between apathetic procrastination and therapeutic relaxation. I hate to admit it, but it’s not always inwardly apparent either, although it usually is. The conscience is rarely fooled. Nevertheless, the intuition of the heart is not always equipped to pinpoint the nature of its discomfort, and can only signal that something doesn’t feel right. We must continue to train our faculties of spirit and intellect to solve the puzzle of personal destiny. And, take it from me—the whole thing can still look like a miserable mess without the proper physical component. It’s quite amazing how a brisk walk, a long bicycle ride, or a mile in the pool can provide a fresh perspective on most troubling situations (not to mention the value of sound nutrition and a good night’s rest).
My mind is running this course in part because I’m using Leap Day to prepare for a third annual March Experiment. I’ve decided to pull away from the online journal to enable a more sustained level of active concentration. Whatever can be temporarily set aside for intensified focus needs to be put on hold during the exercise. I’m beginning to get excited about it, feeling the positive anticipation that comes with diving into the regimen, much like putting on the wet suit for a Lake Huron swim, realizing it will be cold, but concerned more with the determination it will take, after the initial plunge and past the inevitable yelling of an underwater “fuck,” to gain the efficient forward momentum required to cross the channel safely, with no thought for my turning back, because mental defeat is unthinkable—no obstacles exist but the outworn patterns of consciousness.
Nothing is impossible to the man who can will.
—Mirabeau
Top this for meaningless trivia!
February 28th, 2008Recurring themes and personalities in my dreams:
(in no particular order)
Horses
Former clients
Dana, my sweetie
Stolen valuables
Vintage plastic toys and playset figures
On stage, unprepared, with no idea of the play
Incomplete requirements from college studies
Gunplay and martial-arts combat
One of my best buddies: Mike, Bill, or David
Brothers James and Jeffrey, together
Aircraft, trains, vans, and bizarre vehicles
Bush 41 and 43, plus other ex-presidents
Beck, my Evanston employer
Dadbo and Mombo
Yorkshire terriers
Peter Graves
:|:| Gotta love those “Grils!” |:|:
February 26th, 2008Dana hosted Clan womenfolk at the Town House on Sunday, and what better birthday present for Mombo than to meet a new granddaughter, Juliana Molina? Everybody noticed how she and Torrance Rylee made an immediate connection. Ah, what shall these two little ladies experience together over the next 82 years? It electrifies the imagination. When Belle was leaving, I said, “Beat those Ads,” and, by Jove, she almost did tonight, scoring 23 points in outstanding District play against her former coach. Nobody can say she hasn’t played her heart out this season.
“The Best Introduction to the Mountains”
February 23rd, 2008Wow. Just finished reading Gene Wolfe’s short essay on J.R.R. Tolkien, and I just have to provide the link here. Amazing train of thought…
Maybe it’s just Monday, you blockhead.
February 18th, 2008After a weekend of fruitless troubleshooting, I went to bed last night without the layout proof I needed for a presentation this morning. Just after daybreak, in my bathrobe, I was sipping hot coffee, watching the masons starting their shift, laying concrete block for the new library wing across the street. My gloom was thicker than the dismal conditions outside. I had to solve my problem, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the workers. How early did they arise to be on that scaffolding at first light? Had they found a sanity rooted in predictable, hands-on craftsmanship that seemed to be eluding me? At my lowest point I almost believed it was time to abandon it all, to go out and find some kind of real job like that… But who was I kidding? So I faced the quandary again, telling myself, “think positive,” and actually managing to do it without skepticism, feeling resolved to the outcome, whatever it might be.
Later, after everything had worked out, and the client had said he really liked my design, and I had gotten a solid inquiry from Alabama about a new project, I sit here with a second paragraph that needs a culminating thought, trying to make some sense of my day—a Monday that feels like more than the start of a new week…
Happy, happy
February 13th, 2008On the eve of departing for Guatemala, Jerome made his special fried fish as part of her celebration dinner. How can brothers hope to compete with that? (We don’t even try.)
Joan’s MO-JO is the place to GO for the latest “Molina Alert.” I’ll be staying glued to it for the next week! (Lord Michael above, Lord Michael below…)
Countdown to Guatemala
February 11th, 2008
Janet and Jerome will be leaving soon on a much-anticipated and highly prayed-for trip to Central America.
Get ready for the most “famous” bay-bo in Clan history.
Oldenday Quiz
February 9th, 2008(match each number to a letter)
| 1) swing set 2) daddy-man 3) makko bird 4) stool chair 5) Father Mike 6) Uncle Art 7) Dr. Pfarrer 8) whitey rock 9) worm pits 10) Frank 11) Dodgie 12) Uncle Don 13) Hoc-Hoc Man 14) silver paint 15) Hugh 16) Uncle Joe 17) spring house 18) Uncle George 19) Roy Macy 20) Dante 21) Uncle Bobby 22) funny face 23) Paul 24) Orville 25) Barnamoe 26) gitzen |
a) Grandma b) Flint c) wasps d) MVRBA e) Hazel f) Green Plane g) Arlene h) machine i) big horse j) Billy k) sicu l) grapevine m) Vaseline n) boundary o) haircuts p) bookshelf q) rhubarb r) Gravely s) X-15 t) Cecilia u) blackboard v) Chippers w) trampoline x) Fibber y) Lucy z) Greenbriar |
(see comment for answers)
Faithful stewards among us
February 6th, 2008The new Salvation Army leaders, Chuck and Karin, are in town, so I met Chuck at the Advocate-Messenger for an introduction to the executive editor, a good friend of the local Corps. After that we met up with Karin, and the three of us had sandwiches at the deli on Fourth Street. I really like this young couple, recently arrived from Pittsburgh (not unlike most people with the Army, they’ve lived many places). Given the bizarre circumstances which caused the departure of our previous Captains, they had only 24 hours to decide whether or not to move to Danville last month. Unbelievable.
Earlier, while at the newspaper, we’d talked about a welcome interview that was supposed to take place today—before the deadly storms struck in the middle of the night. This morning they took off with the mobile canteen, headed for one of the disaster sites. What a way of life! I’ve met many caring people in my journey so far, but these extraordinary people who call themselves Salvationists are the most selfless servants I’ve encountered.
Blessed are the pure in heart;
for they shall see God.
—Matthew 5:8
…your next stop: the Twilight Zone (II)
February 5th, 2008Super (tsunami) Tuesday Update: A presidential candidate is campaigning with vigor today, saying he is for life and that he supports marriage. What kind of a bizarre future have I been teleported to, where these are positions accepted at face value as vote-gathering selling points?
Various & Sundry, part seventy-one
February 1st, 2008— Month of January workout totals: Swim-1; Bike-2; Run-0; Lift-2; Yoga-5; Pilates-4
— I’m barely hanging on to athletic respectability, thanks to Yoga/Pilates, but that doesn’t do much for my aerobic fitness. This hasn’t been one of my better annual kick-offs, “exercise-wise,” compared to the past few years. My hope is that our traditional Super Sunday mountain-bike ride will help me turn this around, because I have no intention of not being in decent shape this year. Good. That’s settled.
— “Health is wealth,” but here’s another important reason I need to stay in noticeably sound condition: the mayor asked me to think through the idea of establishing a permanent Bicyclist/Pedestrian Advisory Committee for the city of Danville. Sounds like he intends to take my recommendations to the Board of Commissioners as soon as I finish my homework. It came out of nowhere, but seems in sync with my desire to disengage at the state level to focus more on local action. As I’ve probably said before, my days as a Kentucky Commissioner are undoubtedly numbered, since the governor who appointed me wasn’t re-elected, and my term on the KBBC will expire before long.
— Seeing Ken Watanabe in Clint’s Letters reminded me of his other emotional performances in Geisha and Samurai. And then I became even more sad, because I recently found out that Hollywood set decorator Gretchen Rau died of a brain tumor. I was really wanting to enjoy more of her exceptional work.
— I’ve been hearing funny things about The Producers since I was a college student, but it never occurred to me that it would take 35 years before I finally saw the show. This evening Dana and I had fabulous seats at Norton Center for the excellent national touring production, and I don’t know if I’ve laughed that hard since I first saw Blazing Saddles. When I’m in the right mood, nothing is more hilarious to me than Mel Brooks at his very best. I’ve always figured he was a comedic genius, but after experiencing “Springtime for Hitler” tonight, I must appreciate that he’s a genius—period. I was reminded that, when facing down the wicked, many unavoidable things are required by our warriors, but art is the best—the only true—revenge, and satiric comedy may be the ultimate—the most difficult?—form of that. Would that every aspiring dictator could look ahead only to having his personality cult reduced to an object of ridicule and gut-cramping laughter.
There is no safety for honest men except
by believing all possible evil of evil men.
—Edmund BurkeRhetoric does not get you anywhere, because
Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric.
But if you can bring these people down with
comedy, they stand no chance.
—Mel Brooks
a blatantly political log entry
January 30th, 2008I haven’t posted one of these in some time, so here goes…
Message to Frankfort—
You can spend my money if it helps Kentuckians become smarter or healthier. Otherwise, back off!
Prediction: DEM Party Nomination—
Edwards will directly or indirectly throw his support to the Clinton faction, and he won’t wait much longer to do it. He needs to stay relevant and be tied to the winner. By supporting Hillary, he can do both, with enough extra percentage points to virtually ensure the outcome. It will happen before the so-called Super Tuesday vote, either openly or though the union clout he’s already in a position to maneuver. This will be enough for her to clinch the nomination when Obama loses steam after too many individual state losses. Edwards always knew he would be facing Clinton in this contest and entered the race prepared to strike a deal, if it came to that. He didn’t count on a “Ba-Rackstar” to emerge and knock him out so soon. He’ll take what he can get from someone who, ultimately, the Party will not bring itself to reject. He won’t easily forgive the young politician who ruined his campaign to be the Clinton alternative.
Prediction: GOP Party Nomination—
This is a tougher call for me to make tonight. McCain edged a surging Romney in Florida, thanks to the significant endorsements of a popular governor and Cuban-American senator. This trend could continue into next Tuesday’s vote, if numerous politicians across the country jump on McCain’s bandwagon. Romney’s potential to take a decisive lead depends on whether rank and file Republicans have forgotten McCain’s maverick actions against the conservative base as quickly as the Party establishment. Call me cynical, but I’m afraid they will, with too many worries about who can beat Hillary. McCain will win the big states next week in the winner-take-all format and seize an unstoppable momentum, unless Huckabee drops out and backs Romney, which I don’t see in the tea leaves. The right wing will wake up with a hangover and start demanding their kind of conservative as a running mate.
Prediction: General Election—
Too far away to envision the result, but much of the country will be bummed out when the reality sinks in that this election will not be about a new era of leadership. Basically, Republicans already hate the Clintons. Democrats will attempt to manufacture hatred for McCain. Turnout will rule the day. For way too long, way too many citizens have stayed away from the polls because they haven’t believed there was a meaningful difference between the tickets. The political-observer side of me looks at the logical eventualities and informs you, sadly, that next November is shaping up to be more of the same. On the other hand, my heart yearns for the kind of clear choice that a youthful idealist vs mature technocrat would provide. Obama vs Romney would truly be about the future, and it would energize a huge electorate like no contest the Republic has seen in a very long time.
…your next stop: the Twilight Zone
January 29th, 2008At times the world can seem a bit surreal, but what in God’s name is going on when a president must call upon members of congress to ban the patenting of human life?
The DiMaggio of ultra-short fiction?
January 27th, 2008My nephew is really on a roll with his story site right now. Seeing Anacrusis pop up on the screen each weekday is sort of like watching a slugger come up to the plate with a hitting streak on the line. Everybody gets nervous, but the player is out there just doing his job, trying to get some decent wood on the ball.
Hey, I’m only kidding around. Brendan was already in my Hall of Fame long ago, when he turned away from Benedict’s 9 to devote himself to better ideas.
Come on in, the ink’s fine…
January 25th, 2008Some things catch me off guard when they shouldn’t, like Brendan’s revelation that my visual style influenced his knack for strong image making. Well, there’s been plenty of artistic cross-pollination occurring within our extended family for quite some time, and his effect on the way I communicate with words has been equally significant—otherwise, nobody could stand reading anything at this site.
Brendan has his own way of describing the contemporary high-contrast style under discussion, but I’ve always called it “graphic illustration.” I’m no scholar, but it certainly has its historical pedigree in the printing arts (the anonymous masters of the 1400s, Dürer, Grien, up through the centuries: Rembrandt, Thomas Bewick, Rockwell Kent, Munch, the Expressionists, the Arts-and-Crafts printmakers, and the Bauhaus designers). Of course, the “look” has been radically influenced by photomechanical techniques (including cinema), and their appropriation by innovative artists and legendary illustrators (Warhol, Glaser, Otnes, Holland, Schwab). Few may give credit to the nameless pulp or movie-poster artists, but they also made their contribution to the style, as did the legendary comic artists, such as Harold Foster and Milton Caniff (genre exemplars of chiaroscuro, who probably had a more formative influence over generations of creative youngsters than the art history books).
I see it all as a moving stream of visual development in Western art, periodically spiced with Asian influences, but always a binary interpretation of how highlight and shadow define form. It’s how a visual decision maker has always tried to give the most simplified illusion of volumetric reality, by the handling of light sources, minimizing modeling, and harshly controlling the equilibrium of figure-ground relationships on a two-dimensional plane, culminating today in the ubiquitous tool of Adobe Photoshop (just as a reminder, I reserve the right, without warning, to squirt India ink in the face of anyone who uses Photoshop as a verb).
Wow, that’s an awfully wordy bit of rambling, and it could really use some editorial refinement. Naah. I’ll just click the “Publish” button instead…
Hold on; press on.
January 23rd, 2008If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same…
—Kipling
My expectations for January are now cast aside, miserably out of character with harsh developments and deficient efforts. There is nothing to do except press on with the same clear appraisals and cautious optimism that I would apply to more agreeable circumstances and outcomes.
Bring on tomorrow!