Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

“Enlarge not thy destiny,” said the oracle

Friday, February 3rd, 2006

This is one of those moments when I think that I didn’t begin to get a real education until after the age of 50, when I finally settled for me as a teacher.

Me said, “It’s not too late to learn how to think.” I answered, “Ok, Me. Let’s get started.”

Joan was kind enough to make some of Joe Wood’s books available, and there was one I accepted with particular seriousness—“The Conduct of Life,” a collection of essays by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Perhaps true book-larnin’ doesn’t take place until one can center on an idea or theme after confronting it from multiple directions.

A good start, but there’s little chance a revelation will be internalized until put into actual practice.

Here is something I just read from the essay called “Power”—

When Michel Angelo was forced to paint the Sistine Chapel in fresco, of which art he knew nothing, he went down into the Pope’s gardens behind the Vatican, and with a shovel dug out ochres, red and yellow, mixed them with glue and water with his own hands, and having, after many trials, at last suited himself, climbed his ladders, and painted away, week after week, month after month, the sibyls and prophets. He surpassed his successors in rough vigor, as much as in purity of intellect and refinement. He was not crushed by his one picture left unfinished at last. Michel was wont to draw his figures first in skeleton, then to clothe them with flesh, and lastly to drape them. “Ah!” said a brave painter to me, thinking on these things, “if a man has failed, you will find he has dreamed instead of working. There is no way to success in our art, but to take off your coat, grind paint, and work like a digger on the railroad, all day and every day.”

Various & Sundry, part thirty-two

Wednesday, February 1st, 2006

— Month of January workout totals: Swim-5; Bike-2; Run-2; Lift-8; Yoga-13

— Most who know me are aware that I ran—this is where I always have to stop and clarify or say something like “traversed under my own power,” since “ran” is not appropriately descriptive nor entirely accurate—50 miles on my 50th birthday. Later that same year I finished the Chicago Marathon under five hours. That’s my experience with long-distance running. At times I wonder why I didn’t keep it up, but usually I just wonder why I still feel any need at all to stay in running, biking, and swimming condition to be within striking distance of performing a triathlon. Well, it’s important to cross-train, I tell myself, and besides, staying in triathlon shape is not extreme, it’s just what I consider the baseline of physical fitness. I used to think of extreme as my friend who completed over 80 marathon runs, including one in all 50 states and all 7 continents (yes, I know, Antarctica). Or maybe extreme could be defined as competing in “Ironman” triathlons—a 2.4-mile swim, followed by a 112-mile bike ride, and then a 26-mile marathon on top of it, all in one day. And then I heard about the Hardrock Hundred, a 100-mile race that takes place in the mountains of Colorado. Is that extreme or what? Actually there are those who don’t think that’s enough of a challenge, and push the idea of extreme out to the borderlands of madness—the World Championship Quintuple Iron Triathlon. Believe it or not, that’s a distance equivalent to five Ironmans. There’a guy from Louisville who did it. He finished seventh, with a time that set a new U.S. record. A 12-mile swim, 560-mile bike, and 131-mile run. After four days, nine hours, and 40 minutes, he hobbled across the finish line, his body well into the process of cannibalizing his own muscle tissue. Do you think that’s extreme? Now try this—next November there’s a race in Mexico that requires ten Ironmans in ten days, and the Iron Kentuckian is thinking about an attempt. When I heard that I thought about the Athenian warrior Phidippides, who ran what’s considered to be the first marathon in the year 490 BC. He expired. We’ll keep you posted.

— The previous blurb brings to mind a recent article in Money Magazine that one of our clients brought to our attention. Jason Zweig explains in “The Thrill is Wrong” that the new science of “neuroeconomics” is helping investors understand that brain metabolism may cause us to make bad money decisions in much the same way we make bad decisions about food, drink, drugs and sex. Maybe they should add exercise to that list.

— After delivering my finished exhibition print to the Carnegie Center, Dana and I had a nice carnitas dinner in Lexington and then settled down to watch a late screening of Memoirs of a Geisha. I knew I’d enjoy it—actually, much more than Marshall’s “Chicago,” even though it’s garnered less acclaim—as I knew I’d enjoy “The Last Samurai,” because I can easily overlook the flaws in a picture like this. When the production design for a Japan-based story is this awesome, I can never leave the theater disappointed. I must make a note to check out any movie with set decoration by Gretchen Rau. It bothered me that they cast the two female leads with Chinese and Malaysian stars, but I think I was bothered more by the idea of it, going into the theatre, than during the feature. Ziyi Zhang deserved an Oscar nomination. It’s a powerful story, probably a better book, and almost worth the outrageous ticket price. Ken Watanabe is excellent once again, and I always get a kick out of seeing Mako pop up with his trademark scowl, even for less than a minute of screen time.

V & S

Walk ahead with strength, my son

Monday, January 30th, 2006

Bruce‘s visible energy level was dramatically better today, a relief after several days of obvious discomfort and fatigue. This morning we had a visit from ND, who was kind enough to spend some time telling the account of his own horrible ordeal with pancreatitis, defiance of death, and long recovery. Believe it or not, his personal saga dares to upstage even Bruce’s amazing story, proving the adage that someone else has always experienced something worse—two years in the hospital, with a year of that without food, and over 80 surgical procedures. Even though his wife was a nurse, she couldn’t handle the intensity and walked away after the first two months. His internal organs were kept outside of this body in plastic for days until his abdominal cavity was clean enough to accept them back. His weight dropped from around 225 to under 70 pounds. He had to overcome countless temptations to give up or take his own life.

ND is an incredible man, with a depth of belief that was thoroughly tested. He is enormously blessed and gives full credit to the grace of God, without reservation. Very new people on this earth are alive to tell such a story, and I’m withholding his name to honor his privacy. He doesn’t talk about this on a regular basis and only to those he thinks will be receptive to the meaning of his personal testimony.

Sitting with ND and experiencing Bruce’s reaction has started to work some kind of quiet change in my attitude. Last year, Bruce always told me he’d get well enough to come back to Clan Valley. I have a new level of trust and respect for his ability to make judgments and decisions about his own life and the difficult challenges he’ll continue to face in the months ahead. Dana and Terie are driving him home, and how he chooses to deal with the various dysfunctional situations in his Indianapolis environment is something he’s capable of handling in his own way and in his own time. I believe he’ll do the best he can, and he’ll ask for help or advice if that’s what he decides he needs. Otherwise, he has my love, encouragement, and prayers for his complete recovery.

If you don’t think it can happen, it’s probably because you haven’t met the man who sat in my living room today, who lives each day as a gift from the Almighty, runs his own small business, and is back to benching more weight than I’ve ever dreamed of putting on the bar.

Double Homecoming

Sunday, January 29th, 2006

In spite of a lengthy planning meeting at the Clan Hall, our soldier celebrated being at home with his family. During a break in the deliberations, Rita took a group portrait outside, and then the cake was cut. Joan insisted on eating Joshie’s head. The long day ended with Dana taking Bruce to the ER after his visit to the farm. Jerome put in some overtime to help identify symptoms of medication withdrawal that were alleviated. Bruce improved so rapidly that he walked home from the hospital.

My fellow Americans

Friday, January 27th, 2006

Seems like more than the usual number of thought-provoking statistics have come to my attention recently, or maybe I’ve just been paying more attention lately when I hear them.

I learned that 40,000 American are now over the age of 100. That’s rather encouraging. I suppose I’ve had that personal target myself for awhile, at least since I first learned about Josie Dixon’s longevity. Uncle Clarence is giving it the old college try. Each generation to follow will have a better shot at it.

More discouraging is the fact that 500,000 American children are now living in foster homes. One in ten children are born to teen mothers and it’s probably significantly higher in Kentucky. One in five children grow up in poverty, but it’s obvious that poverty is defined differently than when I was a kid in the 1950s. We ran barefoot in the summer, wore hand-me-downs, and got only a few new, modestly priced toys each year, and only at Christmas. In elementary school there was the opportunity to buy a popsicle in the afternoon (before or after recess, I don’t recall), and they cost a nickel. I don’t remember ever having one of those popsicles unless a friend shared one with me. I didn’t have the remotest sense of being “poor,” and, looking back on it, I don’t think we were. Today, many “poor” children have video game consoles, cable TV, and stylish clothing. To me, being poor in the 21st century is less about material things. 40% of American boys are being raised without biological dads.

A new poll says that 91% of Americans believe in God and 87% think there’s a heaven. Only 67% believe there’s a devil, but 74% report they believe in hell.

Do I believe in heaven?

I believe in God, and because there is a God, there must exist somewhere in His creation the perfect abode for the soul… the highest state of being in unity with the Creator.

Do I believe in hell?

I believe in God, and because there is a God, there must exist somewhere in His creation a place where justice is meted out to those who commit the greatest evils… a place for those who ordered the trench assaults of World War I, for those who behead noncombatants in front of video cameras, for those who torture children and then, in response to their pleas for mercy, rape them to death.

And I believe there is a devil because of the previous sentence.

Hur! Hur! Hur-hur-hur

Thursday, January 26th, 2006

It certainly looks as if this is shaping up to be a momentous weekend for our extended family, and it’s not just because we’re prepared to make some far-reaching decisions in Council. In addition to Josh’s “welcome back” from Iraq, word just arrived that Dana and Bruce are on their way to Kentucky. Needless to say, each Clansman has looked forward individually to his Blue Bank homecoming for a long time. Who would have ever guessed that both happy events would coincide?

See you at the Valley…

The universe is full of stuff

Tuesday, January 24th, 2006

Anyone who actually visits this site is probably quite familiar by now with how I’ve provided numerous updates dealing with Bruce’s ten-month medical ordeal. Anyone who actually visits this site is probably already familiar with some of his private difficulties, of which I’ve never provided details here.

I learned today that some of my recent wording struck a nerve. Most likely it was when I wrote, “the conditions of his personal life are too harsh for me to present…” Even that level of discretion was apparently offensive.

I don’t consider my use of the word “harsh” to be inaccurate, nor is it even slightly exaggerated. Displeasure undoubtedly arose from the mere fact that I said anything at all which might touch on the reality that all is not well.

I would hope that another truthful statement is that the very people who regularly like to know what’s on Uncle John’s mind are the same people who care for Bruce deeply. As far as I’m concerned, anyone else is not welcome at this site, and I urge you to find better uses for your time. The rest of you come here for my candid thoughts and opinions about almost anything, including my family.

Keep coming back. I’ll do my “dangdist” to let you know what I really think about, and, to the best of my ability, I’ll avoid unnecessarily ruffling any feathers. If you disagree with me—and I’d expect that most individuals would, from time to time—you can take Brendan up on his offer to host a blog for your viewpoints, too. For good or ill, this is the era of The Blog… Hey, it’s almost like it’s the 21st Century, man!

And if you want to know something else, I learned to blog from the Adkins brothers, and they’re not known for pulling a punch (especially Ian)—when they punch, that is—which isn’t very often, because they’re nice guys, but they do know how to punch, because they used to do martial arts and stuff and kicked hind end in video games and watched a lot of movies where guys get punched and kicked a lot, and sometimes you can see the blood and it doesn’t look fake and the ruffled feathers are sorta pink and bloody and sticky, and if it wasn’t a movie it would smell like a Kentucky cock-fighting pit, if you know what I mean…

I love you, Bruce.

That’s why, when I look back over my year of log entries, your amazing story is…

• • •  the top highlight of 2005  • • •

Various & Sundry, part thirty-one

Saturday, January 21st, 2006

— When I got up at 6:30 to check the weather, the wind with light rain was enough deterrent for me to call off my scheduled run. I guess I have to admit I’m not as hard-core as I used to be. Dana and I did yoga instead, with the Charles and Lisa tape, waiting for live TV coverage showing the return of the Kentucky National Guard’s 623rd. Josh and his unit had some initial delays in getting out of Iraq, since they had to fill up a plane first, but he’s been back in the States for a number of days now, and was supposed to fly into Louisville this morning. When he touches down and is greeted by family, it will mark the end of his perilous overseas deployment. Welcome back, Josh!

— Last night Hayley’s team met its match with some athletic, high-pressure ball players from Lincoln County High. Our Belle displayed some skilled moments, but most of her minutes showed a hesitancy that comes from inexperience with competition at this level of intensity. She faced a energetic, senior-dominated squad. I think she also defers too often on the floor to older teammates, rather than place more confidence in her own leadership, which she’s more inclined to do when she’s not nervous, and then she shoots more, finishes her powerful drives to the basket, or finds an open player. When she performs that way she usually has a high-scoring game. The consistency is sure to come, but she needs to find a way to bear down and trust her own abilities. I wish she had a better coach, and some day she will. She has a lot of basketball ahead of her. It will be a joy to watch.

— I made more progress today on remodelling the small kitchen off our upstairs conference room. It’s hard to explain why it’s been so neglected over the years, but this is the year to complete the project. It’s proven in many ways to be the log jam that impedes the last phase of physical organization that has to take place for us to have the kind of studio space we always intended for the Town House. I also wrote an email to the chairman of the Library expansion committee describing our desire to recycle some materials from the demolition of the church to take place across the street this summer. We’d like to take stone, brick, or both, and create a rubble-style paved driveway. I think there’s a good chance the project will get a green light, but it’ll take some “Clan-Power” for me to pull off my end of the deal.

V & S

Too gnarled a realm for this cautious blogger

Friday, January 20th, 2006

I have a desire to do another detailed Bruce Update, since his medical situation continues to improve, but the conditions of his personal life are too harsh for me to present in this format, at least for now. Perhaps in time I’ll write something for the permanent record, but, for those of you who read this log and care about Bruce, if you want to know the specifics of what’s going on, please contact me or Dana directly. I encourage you to do so, and then to communicate your best regards to him.

There’s no people like show people

Wednesday, January 18th, 2006

Tonight Dana had her book club, so I took the tickets Jeanne gave me and went to see the Harlem Gospel Choir at Norton Centre with my friend Danny D. The people on stage were very accomplished professionals, but the performance was too loud, too packaged, too “Show-Biz” for me. I get extremely discerning when it comes to worship-based music, but I can’t help it.

Obscure celebrities of Nordic history

Saturday, January 14th, 2006

Ian’s face-recognition blog entry is hilarious. I had to try it, too. So I uploaded a recent picture of me that Dana likes.

Who the hell is Christian IX of Denmark?

Sulking, I looked through a few more pictures, and—you guessed it—I selected a picture of my notorious alter ego, Headley Lice.

No picture of Admiral Lice would return a result at the MyHeritage.com site. Very curious. The fear of this pirate’s dreaded wrath extends deeper than I ever presumed.

And so I used my old Muscle Club shot.

—Theodore Roosevelt— YES!

Then I took the big plunge. Uploading a photo of Dana in high school, I sought scientific proof that ever since the night I first watched El Cid, I had spent my youth trying to lure Sophia Loren into the pillows.

—Isabelle Adjani— Hmm, not bad

Who the hell is Sophia Loren?

Various & Sundry, part thirty

Friday, January 13th, 2006

— You asked for them…
BIG JimThe BIG Guy HimselfThe BIG ValleyThe Other BIG Guy Himself

— The BIG news of the week in Danville was the corporate restructuring of Ephraim McDowell Health, with the president of the medical center being ousted in the process. When I chatted with him today I suggested he run for County Judge Executive, just to see his reaction. He didn’t dismiss the idea at all and said, “John, I’ve thought about a lot of things this week, but that wasn’t one of them.” It was almost as if I could hear that familiar Lalo Schifrin tune, and felt like I was finally stepping into the shoes of YOU KNOW WHO.

What’s up, Docs?

— We just got home from the BIG Danville-vs-Boyle-County basketball double header. As Cliff predicted, the boy’s game was intense, given the deep local rivalry. I haven’t felt that kind of energy near a basketball court since my high school days, when a Northmont or Vandalia-Butler showndown brought the student body to fever pitch. Both Boyle County teams won, and I agreed with Marty that the girls’ game was more satisfying to watch. If I counted correctly, Hayley’s point total made it to double digits again. She’s a real playmaker and had a number of significant assists. She also continues to be prone to mistakes that accompany her inexperience with sustaining game focus. It’s scary to think how good she’ll be when she stops making them.

— After the ball games, while taking Marty home, we learned that Bruce was being admitted back into Methodist Hospital. It has to do with replacing some of his dang “pipelines and spigots.” I guess BIG problems could result if this kind of thing were ignored or downplayed during his steady recovery.

V & S

What can I say? It’s the vibes, man

Thursday, January 12th, 2006

Earlier today I wanted to take advantage of the mild weather and paint the porch eaves. While grabbing some newspaper to put underneath my paint can, I noticed a story from December, 2004 about the Danville-vs-Boyle-County girls basketball game. Hayley scored five points. I’d just been thinking about going to her game tomorrow night. And then Jeanne pulled in the driveway, so we started looking at the details of the story, sizing up the opposition.

Cosmic.

Don’t let Brendan have all the fun

Wednesday, January 11th, 2006

Marie Antoinette never said “let them eat cake” — this is a mistranslation of “let them eat The Carson Family.”

All of the roles in Shakespeare’s plays — including the female roles — were originally played by Pirates.

The horns of Sugar Boop are made entirely from hair.

The number one cause of blindness in the United States is Stench Pit.

Thought Form for 2006

Tuesday, January 10th, 2006

I’m not sure how long I’ve been formulating them, but it’s become a custom for me to cultivate a certain receptivity at the beginning of a calendar year, attuning to what I end up calling my “thought form” for the coming cycle. A year ago it was, “Get your act together and live life while you’re alive!” Anyone who knows what my family was coping with might have a clear sense of my mental state at the time. After many months of intervening disruption, I look forward to a new level of wholeness and cohesion in my affairs.

“Symmetry and proportion in all things: the triumph of order.”

I don’t know where that came from, but it resonates…

Lord, I was born a ramblin’ man

Monday, January 9th, 2006

As Dana and I worked our way back toward Danville, we found ourselves near the Kentucky Theater, with the chance to catch a showing of “The Squid and the Whale” during its last week in Lexington. We hadn’t been in the adjacent State Theatre since the screening of Andrew’s movie last summer. Seeing this kind of film reminds me how much I appreciate the full spectrum of cinema, from the huge spectacles like “War of the Worlds,” to small literary pictures like “Squid.” I’m not enough of a groupie to outline any details, but I recognize the quality of the creative output coming from this particular circle of film makers, including Noah Baumbach, Wes Anderson, Jennifer Jason Leigh (Vic Morrow‘s daughter), the Wilson brothers, and others. The nature of the circle’s connection to talents such as Bill Murray, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Kevin Kline are unknown to me, but serves as a clear reminder that the movie biz is a relatively “small world” at the nontechnical level. “Squid” has obvious parallels to “The Royal Tenenbaums,” but it also triggered some reflections on “The Anniversary Party.” Beyond the dynamics of the artistic circle (usually behind the camera, but occasionally in front as well), these kinds of low-budget, quasi-autobiographical pieces tend to fascinate me when well executed, not so much because of the typical, self-reflective focus on dysfunctional relationships, but the way in which the art affects me at an emotional level and stimulates personal objectives. For me, that’s what movie-going has always been about—the lingering internal ripples of the following day (and beyond, if I’m lucky, or did a decent bit of homework before making my choice of feature). For instance, in spite of all the attention to the unattractive snobbishness of intellectual elitism, I come away from “Squid” with the distinct desire to reverse my practice of keeping at arm’s length the major works of great novelists—Dickens, Melville, Proust, etc. It brings to mind the words of Michel Seuphor, which I copied in my journal a while back: “You can never see too many things in a work of art. Itself, the work is a means for discovering what is already within us. The true work of art is more than its creator; it is always behind him; soon it enters another orbit not his, because the artist changes, he dies, while the work lives in others.” Twyla Tharp takes it a step further, examining the potential power of sub-art, with her story about Jerome Robbins: He was “a true man of the theater, who made a point of going to see everything because he could find something useful in even the worst productions. He’d sit there, viewing the catastrophe onstage, and imagine how he would have done it differently. A bad evening at the theater for everyone else was a creative workout for him.” No bad art, only bad observers? I wouldn’t take it to that extreme…

Completing another weekend circuit

Sunday, January 8th, 2006

We drove to Indianapolis yesterday to deliver late Christmas
presents and spend some time with Bruce. He seems to be doing quite well at home. I can’t describe how marvelous it was for Dana and me to eat supper with him, seated at his own dining room table, which he hasn’t been in a position to do for almost ten months. Source of all blessings, be praised!

While on the road today, we had lunch in the highlands of Louisville, at an eatery recommended by Brendan and Bob H, too. Although we had to wait awhile for a table, it was a tasty meal and a unique setting. There’s only one word that can adequately describe Lynn’s Paradise Cafe— PSYCHEDELIC!

Lifetime friends and fallen timbers

Saturday, January 7th, 2006

I hope everyone knows what it’s like to enjoy the continuity of a
friendship which effortlessly picks up where it left off, no matter how much time has passed—that’s the kind of comfortable bond that I have with Mike Menke—and I probably don’t need to say much more than that about spending a day with him and his parents at the cozy home Mike grew up in near Greenville. I don’t know if he came to love my folks as much as I came to love his, but I wouldn’t doubt it. In any case, I’ve been privileged to participate vicariously in many of the Menke family developments over the years, especially since I lived with his brother Tom for a year before I got my design degree and left Cincinnati. We drifted apart during my time in Chicago, but had an opportunity to solidify our “buddyship” when I got a job at Wright State without knowing that Mike was there getting a graduate degree in behavioral science. Mike’s life has had some strong connections to our Clan. At an age when we both should have known better, we were still climbing trees together at the Blue Bank Farm. He took a severe fall that directly influenced his pursuing a new career in chiropractic care (a legitimately outstanding one). In recent years he sold a successful private practice in Silicon Valley and moved to the Southwest, where he formed an association with Andrew Weil, became an expert on smoking cessation, and began working on another doctorate. Last night Dana and I were part of a family dinner in town and stayed awake ’til late to catch up on news. I spent most of today helping Mike and Tom cut firewood with their father, Stewart, who, despite some recent health challenges, can still drop a desirable tree precisely where he tells us it will fall. The brisk day was perfect for the task, and there still aren’t many things as satisfying as looking at a big stack of stove wood that wasn’t there a few hours before.

First 2006 road trip

Friday, January 6th, 2006

We’re leaving together for our first journey north in quite a while, and, after the pattern of last year, I feel a bit rusty getting ready. Before our arrival at Bruce’s place, we’ll spend some time at the Menke Homestead in Dark County, Ohio. I met James Michael Menke in 1970 as a
fall-quarter freshman at the University of Cincinnati. After running
into John Michael Hoover (a grade-school chum from the community our
family had left six years previously), I soon became aware of “the
Mikes,” two quickly popular roommates living a couple dorm floors beneath me. Somebody must have considered it logical to pair a James and John without knowing that they both went by their common middle name of Mike. 35 years later, one Mike has long vanished, but the other is
still my “best buddy.”

Strike three call

Thursday, January 5th, 2006

I’ve been thinking on and off all day about how to express myself on the subject of Brendan’s generosity of spirit, plus the joy and fascination he’s brought to my life by sharing his interests, discoveries, and human connections, but I can’t get it to coalesce.

It’s like I’m trying to sketch with my hands wrapped in duct tape.

Perhaps the words will come another day…

Well done, James

Wednesday, January 4th, 2006

Does my brother James realize the immeasurable contribution he’s made to the long-term viability of our Clan Council as a collaborative body of decision makers? In my appraisal, he sees his recent efforts—to bring both Mombo’s Trust and the Council Charter to fruition—as the fulfillment of a personal commitment to his mother. That it is, indeed, but so much more…

Captain Zero vs Marvin and Boop-0

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006

One of these days we’ve just got to dig out all of Mombo’s photos of the “Blackboard Comics.” How many years has it been? Quite possibly it could take forensic expertise to read the dialogue.

Just in case you aren’t familiar with this long-running series, it just happens to be one of the most awesome collaborative formats ever conceived. Anyone in the vicinity above the age of six is invited to add a frame to an evolving pictorial narrative until the evolving chalk drawing has filled it’s designated space, followed by prompt documentation before anyone in the vicinity under the age of six follows his or her urge to be similarly creative.

There’s nothing like drawing with real chalk on real slate. It’s in my blood. On New Year’s Day we decided to mess with perfection and develop our strip in reverse. It was a space-western vignette, of course, due to the prevailing supremacy of a certain defunct TV show.