Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

This is my quest

Thursday, January 11th, 2007

As usual, I’m scratching along in my own analytical way, looking for “keys.” For me, that often involves attempts at integrating various “reality maps” I’ve encountered that make sense as individual systems. Numerology would be one example, but seems limited when I approach it in isolation. Feng Shui has appeal, but I haven’t totally bought into the premise. For a long time, Bruce has made references to Chinese medicine, but my investigation into Chinese thought has been confined to a study of the Book of Changes or I Ching.

Today I read a short magazine article by Mark Blessington. We must think along the same lines, because he’s made an impressive start at applying the principles of Chinese medicine to the relationships between money and people. There’s often a fine distinction between genuine insight and wacky diversion, I must admit, but I would say that Blessington’s ideas about achieving a balance in money elements deserves the benefit of the doubt.

And so we press on with our attempts to synthesize the unbridgeable gaps of knowledge and to learn the unknowable truths, like why you can’t find a missing object until you tell somebody else that you lost it. We’ll continue to look for the profound answers that elude us all, to understand why time always speeds up every Thursday night during NBC’s telecast of “The Office,” and to solve the many riddles of a mysterious universe.

Various & Sundry, part forty-five

Tuesday, January 9th, 2007

— If you like Howard Pyle, N.C. Wyeth, and the “Golden Age of American Illustration,” Paul Giambarba has put together a smashing collection of biographical notes, artistic comments, and rarely seen images. I just love this handsome stuff, and tip my hat to anyone who would spend the personal time to compile such an extensive reference site.

— I grabbed a few moments of “mind time” in Harrodsburg while Dana got a haircut, thinking LJS would be a relatively quiet place at that time of day, but the music was a bit more electric-70s than I was expecting. I still haven’t given up on achieving a new level of organization, and it’s that time of year anyway. Business development remains priority one. Nevertheless, I find myself pulled continuously in a different direction with so many art deadlines and volunteer responsibilities demanding my attention. I have another milestone facing me within a week as part of my contractual obligation to the Band Festival as 2007 featured artist. And I must make steady progress on preparations for a one-man show in May at the Community Arts Center. If I don’t find a way to more successfully block out my time, there are some intense experiences that I won’t be able to avoid this year. One good new client would take much of the heat off our situation, and that has to be my focus, one way or another.

— We had a full house at the B.I.K.E. meeting tonight, including our newly sworn-in mayor. It was an important kick-off for the year, a discussion of our first major proposal to the city for infrastructure enhancements and repairs. If I didn’t have so many experienced community leaders at the table, I think I’d probably spin my wheels a lot, but they have a way of making sure I keep getting the traction we need (I don’t know if that pun was intentional or not).

— Dana and I continue to chip away at our three hours of P.J. O’Rourke on tape. He says he dislikes memoirs, and so I can only assume he’s never read the extraordinary Paul Watkins book, Stand Before Your God. He really doesn’t like bloggers either. According to him it’s like “what I did last summer” for adults, and he seems to detest the whole phenomenon. As far as this blog goes, it appears we have an every-other-day pattern of entries developing and that suits me fine. It’s half the level of blogging I was doing a year ago, arguably a more reasonable pace for my current situation. If you desire more than that, dear reader, all I can say it this: you must have way too much time on your hands.

V & S

Welcome to 2007

Sunday, January 7th, 2007

Good Grief. I just read Keillor’s first syndicated column of the year. For somebody who got famous being humorous and touching at the same time, it’s painful to cringe through something with that much self-righteous venom. He’s far too good a writer to inflict that on a reader, but it was my choice to partake. It’s like deciding to sit in front of Meryl Streep and have her look directly at you and weep.

Looking for an antidote, I sat down to watch a few minutes of P.J. O’Rourke on “In Depth,” who was talking about how much writers dislike the act of writing. He said something very close to this: “No writer who I respect says they love the writing part. I suppose the only people who love writing are bloggers. Blogs are free—and worth it.”

Yow. One of those days. I’d better go accomplish something.

There you have it, Ian. You just got your money’s worth.

Numbers 1

Friday, January 5th, 2007

Wednesday was hardly “a modest resurfacing.” It must have seemed more like the gasping rise of an underwater swimmer, so I’ll go easy this time.

I was introduced to numerology in 1978 by a client, and make no excuse for continuing to consider it just about the most uncanny thing I’ve ever encountered. The key to its appreciation is tuning into the idea that there are fundamental “essences” at play in life, and that our species has come up with things like numbers, letters, and other symbols to represent their meaning. This process of abstraction we use to make sense of unseen forces is also at the root of mathematics and music, and yet numerology is regarded as the oddball disclipline of the three.

Today was the first vibratory six of the year, the essence of caregiving, responsibility, and selfless service. My Dadbo was fraught with sixes—no surprise. Because 2007 is a “six year” for me on a personal level, I was curious to see how the day “felt.”

It felt extraordinarily good . . .

My First and Last Gerald R. Ford Entry

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007

It sounds strange, but President Ford never seemed like an entirely substantial figure in my personal perceptions. I don’t mean in the sense of credibility or political weight, but in the literal sense of being a real person. I happened to have been living in Brussels as a student worker during the second half of 1974 and missed those supposedly multi-orgasmic constitutional spasms of the day that everyone else can usually describe in great detail. As a result, the culmination of the Watergate crisis has always felt to me like a hazy historical event, and, by extension, the 38th President like a big pretend creature from a B movie, as though one of Ian’s old Frankenstein drawings had been put in charge of the government.

They didn’t consider us “interns” back then. The term was reserved for medical trainees and I was called a “co-op,” just like Mombo was back in the early 40s. As I’ve probably described before, I remember listening to the Nixon resignation speech as it was piped by loudspeaker into the morning streets of Amsterdam, while I leaned sleepily from the open window of a youth hostel, during one of my weekend forays into that Dutch shrine of “70s-ness.” So when I returned to the States before Christmas and finally took stock of President Ford weeks later, it was like, “who the heck is this guy?”

Fast forward through the remaining two years of the Ford administration. Back then it didn’t take much to get me miffed about the national scene. I was still angry at Ford for endorsing mass inoculations to counter a Swine-Flu boogeyman, for his apparently feeble attempts to turn around the lousy economy that I faced as a university graduate, and his cold shoulder to the supreme Russian dissident of the century. I don’t remember what I thought about his pardon of Nixon—one more ghostly act from another dimension. I’d voted against Ford in ’76 while living in Chicago. Not really in favor of Carter (it was hard for me to take Jimmy seriously), I’d lost my enthusiasm for the campaign after neither of my two favorites, Eugene McCarthy and Ronald Reagan, had managed to prevail into the home stretch. As unfocused as they were, you can tell that my political attitudes tended toward the radical, and that was the one thing Gerry Ford indisputably was not. When Carter began to “self-destruct in five seconds,” I took an odd measure of pride in the fact that Ford had carried Illinois.

Fast forward again to a newly minted 2007 with one less Former President. Clearly it’s time to reflect on his rightful place in history, and I’ve softened my viewpoint considerably. I should have liked him more. He deserved it. Nevertheless, I can’t help but think that all the kind and appreciative things being said about Gerald R. Ford would still be equally true if he had not sought to retain the Presidency beyond his short stewardship, and, as confirmation of his quintessential unselfishness and towering decency, had stepped aside with the same dignity with which he had taken office—to have recognized his unique distinction as Healer among our chief executives, to have recognized the ascendancy of national conservatism over his frayed brand of Republican establishmentarianism, and to have recognized it was time to decisively pave the way for the next necessary phase of post-Nixonian resurgence—a fresh and bold style of visionary leadership for America.

Various & Sundry, part forty-four

Monday, January 1st, 2007

— Year of 2006 workout totals: Swim-40; Bike-54; Run-27; Lift-56; Yoga-55

— An internal debate about whether to revive these journal entries came to a close on Christmas Eve when my nephew Ian asked me to start making them again. Over time, I might delve into my 14-week experience as a recovering blogger, but, for now, I just intend to make a modest resurfacing, and try to get some kind of rhythm back.

— It’s been ages since I got sick, or it seems that way at least, because I forgot what it felt like. I’ve missed the entire year-end celebration, but that’s the risk I took when I plunged into a sea of youth over the weekend, many of whom made no secret of having recently crawled from “the pit.”

— I was pleased with another variation on my thematic Grandy-bo series (the eleventh), which ended up in Crabtree hands at our Clan’s Chinese (Chine-Yine) gift exchange, but I took even greater satisfaction from a highly successful pencil and wash portrait of Marty for Terie’s Christmas present, along with the triumphant completion of Alyx’s large, mixed-media G-bo, which had me stumped for the better part of three years.

— The Butcher of Baghdad stretched twine before the end of the year, and, come on let’s face it, there was no way it wasn’t going to be controversial. As the Old Virginians liked to put it, “Sic Semper Tyrannis.” Happy New Year.

V & S

Back home in Danville— A number of things that weren’t important yesterday

Friday, September 22nd, 2006

Doing my best to normalize after an abrupt departure from Tipp City and late-night drive to Kentucky (in order to get Dana’s antique credenza from Sydne safely home before the rain arrives). I stopped often to close my eyes, playing it safe, worries of 1993 in my nerve endings. It was nearly 3 am by the time I found my bed. Today the dire situation with our studio workload is uppermost on my mind, as I make the harsh decisions to confine my energy to the necessary turnaround.

Day Eight at Barefoot’s Resort— Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong

Wednesday, September 20th, 2006

Phoned into the KBBC conference out on the dock this morning, reminding me of taking the July call when I was here, while out on a boat with Marty. This kind of technology has just sneaked up on us, but would have seemed like Star Trek to me not that long ago. After that, Foot and I mounted our last perch run across Muskellunge Bay to the Point. I had one 11-inch baby that made the outing for me, although we were still hoping for a limit catch. They just haven’t bitten like that on this trip. Foot was miffed at hooking little channel cats and sunfish. I cleaned and froze the batch when we got back. Now we’re cleaning, organizing, and packing so we can leave as early as possible tomorrow morning. I guess I’m ready to depart, but I sure would like some “final night luck” later this evening and bring in a nice salmon.

Day Six at Barefoot’s Resort— I’ve changed my mind, I’ve opened up the doors

Monday, September 18th, 2006

Foot sounds serious about starting his little house next year, talking to Mr. Hill when he stopped to discuss sand-truck access to the adjacent property (apparently the neighbors want to create a beach like the natural one here at this resort). The contractor said he was no relation to the Hill who originally owned the entire island. He and Foot looked at the spot where the A-frame will be sited. Hill said that code compliance and getting a permit will be more difficult than the excavation. He seemed like a nice man with helpful advice. His own father also bought lake frontage not long after Bill’s parents first came to Hill Island in the 1950s. My friend hopes to sell his business in Ohio and move up here to manage the resort within five years. His dream excites my own desire to have a retreat in the woods, but the inner determination to reverse my personal downturn and accomplish that goal must come from inside me. At the same time, I have concerns for my friend. Earlier this year, Bill quit smoking for 12 weeks—long enough to live as a nonsmoker—but he started up again after a quarrel with Amy (their first?). Much buried tension in the man, like there was in my dad, and perhaps more than a little rage; it bubbled to the surface last night when I touched on a political subject. Like most proud Americans, the direction our country is moving disturbs him and he takes it personally, and then hides it inside. Stress and cigarettes—an unhappy combination. There’s little I can do about it, of course, and the same is true for my family members who smoke… too many of them… but how can I be judgmental when I have unmanaged problems of my own? Ok, where do I start? Review priorities and take even greater control over my use of time. Should I curtail many of my extraneous activities? Should I suspend this online journal? Is it time to set a few simple, practical goals and then banish all conflicting objectives until they’re achieved? Mike spoke to me about the misconceptions of setting priorities and defining daily tasks. He has decades of experience and impressive, tangible results to show for it, so put his advice to the test, and for God’s sake forget about sharing it in a public log. If I don’t take this last opportunity to gain command over my financial status, I’ll face radical changes over which I’ll have minimal capacity to direct. I must prove I can make a few specific things happen in my life that are essential, and that means everything else has to be put on hold. Period.

Day Three at Barefoot’s Resort— Gonna try with a little help from my friends

Friday, September 15th, 2006

When I overheard Mike and Bob discussing sales goals, Mike said something so clear and plain-spoken that it hit my brain like a laser— “First you set an objective, and then you devise the strategy and tactics to achieve it.” I realized how reactive I’ve been in my professional life, rather than proactive. Mike knows what he’s talking about. After years as a leading sales executive for M&M/Mars, he now works directly with the owner of a top food distributor in the Midwest. We talked a lot today while Bill, JD, and Bob were out fishing. I know I can learn a lot from Mike if I open up. He’ll be more than pleased to give me advice, but do I have the discipline to use it? During a 90-minute phone call with Dana we confirmed the do-or-die aspect of what we face together, and the need for total open-mindedness in our problem solving, to turn the situation with our studio around.

Day Two at Barefoot’s Resort— You can syndicate any boat you row

Thursday, September 14th, 2006

Bob and I were up early and put the rowboat in the water. Bill (Foot) found oars and an anchor locked in the unused shower house. I figured that with six guys, we needed a third small boat for fishing in the channel. Most of the perch caught while we were up here in July were taken between 8-11 in the morning, including that memorable outing Marty and I had with Sartoris on July 21st. It’s time to duplicate that success, if I can. At least we have the “elbow room” now and the Sylvan can be used exclusively for salmon runs. Before long, five of us were “fanning at the plate” out in the channel, so we gave that up and had a fair amount of success with another run to Connors. Nobody got skunked this time. Bob had multi-species and Foot caught an 11-inch perch—a nice fish by any standard. I had only four keepers. It’s frustrating for us not to have found the “zone” yet.

September Eleven

Monday, September 11th, 2006

It’s our 24th wedding anniversary, but we no longer have this date to ourselves, of course; it now belongs to all Americans.

Dana and I opted for a day at home, trying to enjoy the familiar with mindful appreciation. I did some chores for her; she made two tasty meals for me. At the same time, I was trying to pack for a Michigan trip and finish framing the 50th anniversary artwork for the California B’bachs. I avoided the media all day, since there were already too many things going on in my head. I really had to quiet myself and beckon an Archangel, so I wouldn’t goof up, fall two stories off a ladder, and ruin the day.

Our intimate supper featured the last of my venison tenderloin, wild rice, and Fron’s yellow squash. Sliced organic strawberries in liqueur-flavored yogurt were an exquisite finale, and the bottle of Firestone Cabernet was pure velvet on the palette, shining like fiery blood before the candle flames.

Yes, my family is amazing

Sunday, September 10th, 2006

I can’t tell you how cool it was to sit on the porch at Frank’s farm today and laugh with my mate and brother and sister and niece and nephews, realizing we’re all just a bunch of grownups now. Although we’re two distinct generations, we can all relish a fun conversation at the same level. And I think it will surely get cooler.

Brendan wasn’t there, but I’m thinking about him because he posted a fantastic panorama from Clan Pirate Day 2. The rest of the photos aren’t up yet at his Flickr site (as I type this), but go there anyway, if you haven’t enjoyed it lately. His captions are as good as his images, and his shots are damn good (even though he didn’t get the spelling right for “ghee,” because we intentionally made those kinds of things difficult for his generation—where’s that Dixonary Wiki?).

In need of an exit strategy

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

Bruce went back into the hospital early this morning. As far as I can tell, it was a chain reaction of things that caused his blood pressure to drop dangerously low.

Monday Monday, so good to me

Monday, September 4th, 2006

Mombo and Joan decided to travel with us, and we were in no hurry to make our way towards home. Yesterday was Uncle Bob’s 70th birthday, and I think that gave me the idea of our going to Yellow Springs and popping in on his son, Dan (not the type of thing you could do on a holiday with just anyone.) It turned out to be a wonderful experience, with an outdoor meal hot off the grill, and a rare opportunity to examine an extraordinary private art collection, including an astonishing series of wood engravings by Dearth. It was fun to talk to Elizabeth about her studies at U.C., and to wish Olivia well before she departs on her adventure to Spain. My magnanimous cousin gave me some pawpaw fruit as we were getting ready to leave, and he reminded me that nothing is more important than family. On the way south, we discussed the possibility of Darb’s relocation to the Blue Bank Farm, which, if approached with thoughtful planning and a bit of imagination, could be a win-win situation for her and the entire Clan.

Decks awash

Sunday, September 3rd, 2006

Today was “Clan Pirate Day 2,” and there may never be a third at this scale. My personal opinion is that the abundant availability of alcohol is fundamentally incompatible with our thematic idea. Nevertheless, it was great fun in many respects, and the wide array of wenches, knaves, powder monkeys, and assorted nautical vermin will contribute many interesting additions to the family image bank. “Lady Virginia” was chosen by our jousting champion, who lost by a single point—a clear case of robbery. We celebrated a number of birthdays with Dana’s famous carrot cake, which we managed to decorate late last night in the motel after the original effort to make our own icing fell apart. A tip of the admiral’s leather hat to our very own “Stenchpit” and his “Lillie.” Without their monumental dedication this day and its memories would not exist.

I should be getting paid for this

Saturday, September 2nd, 2006

What is it about the first wave of fall-ish air that rolls through an open bedroom window and makes you sleep like a log?

I never have insomnia, but I can’t say I get a restful night’s sleep very often, so a zonk-out like last night is a most welcome occurrence. Downside— I didn’t exactly launch into the day, and besides, I’m having an ongoing feud with running on Saturday mornings this summer, after years of ritual. I love to swim, and I get on my bike every chance I get, but, for some reason, I haven’t been able to run much lately, unless I’m totally into the mood, which hasn’t been that often.

Dana and I are in the middle of preparations to go to Ohio for the Renaissance Festival (or at least I was until I started blogging). Clan Pirate Day is tomorrow, and, like last year, the inspiration to fully embrace the prospect is slow in coming. The slime-quaffing, freebooting Queen’s Admiral isn’t the most appealing character to adopt for any length of time, but, when the curtain goes up, I reckon I can growl and buckle my swashes with the best of ’em!

Various & Sundry, part forty-three

Friday, September 1st, 2006

— Month of August workout totals: Swim-4; Bike-7; Run-1; Lift-2; Yoga-7

— I saw Sheldon at the gym again this morning, well into Brian’s strenuous workout. I’m convinced that Sheldon really wants to get in shape. If Brian was putting me through that routine, I’d be having a tough time of it, too. Sheldon is one of the best fine artists in this part of the United States, but that distinction doesn’t exempt him from his sedentary profession. Good for you, my friend. Health, wellness, and life extension are something we can all be pro-active about, and that’s the service Brian provides. He’s one of the most fit young men in this part of the United States. On Wednesday night he came flying by me and called out, “Hop on!” I was already pedaling hard, but took the challenge to catch his draft at nearly 30 miles per hour. I could only “suck wheel” for a couple hundred yards before I fell apart. Man… Now that’s cycling.

— The Breidenbach 50th Anniversary collage had been sitting on my art board all week, so I set myself to the task of completing it this afternoon. While she was making constructive comments, Dana accidently smeared some fresh ink. She felt terrible. All I could say was “Just leave the area.” I wasn’t sure what to do at first, but within several minutes I managed to clean and repair the damage—with no indication of anything having gone wrong. I flashed back thirty-two years, when I’d doctor the dates on European rail passes. Yes, I could’ve been a master forger… I might’ve even become a David Halifax!

— Hugh (my friend the mayoral candidate) stopped by while we relaxed on the front porch this evening to enjoy the most refreshing air we’ve had in quite some time. We got to talking about the Town House, and tapped his wealth of knowledge about the history of local real estate. Our home on West Broadway was built in the 20s by W.A. Walker for a railroad man named Arnold, who also had a twin dwelling constructed for his daughter on St. Mildred’s Court, close to campus. She married a Bush Nichols, whose brother, one of Danville’s only Republican mayors, lived in the house across the street from ours. The Arnold daughter died at a young age. The second wife and widow of Bush Nichols still resides in the Twin House today.

— We haven’t indulged much network TV in ages, but last night Dana and I found ourselves glued for 90 minutes. We watched three consecutive episodes of “The Office.” Actually, the term “glued” is not correct usage. This might be the funniest show since “Seinfeld.” If that’s the case, it’ll be impossible to ignore.

V & S

A giftbearer-rich environment

Monday, August 28th, 2006

Bruce spent most of the day resting. He wanted to leave for Indianapolis after tonight’s concert. Quite some time ago, as a 40th birthday present for her son, Dana got tickets for a rare Bruce Cockburn performance at the Kentucky Theatre. Lee and David decided to go, too, and the five of us drove to Lexington for dinner at Natasha’s before the show. We had a great meal and great seats. Bruce was clearly pleased with his gift. Early this morning on her way to work, Joan dropped off hers—an excellent copy of “Walden” that belonged to Joe Wood. At lunch, Bruce and I had a good talk about writing as a subtractive process, and the necessity of brutal self-editing (not unlike the practice of “design refinement” drilled into me as a university student). I’m finally beginning to fully appreciate Bruce’s artistic spirit. My anticipation for his creative output is a familiar craving with which I’ve learned to live. I respond to artists in one of three ways—indifference, inspiration, or demoralization. Although Bruce Cockburn’s sensibilities tend to fall a bit farther to the left than mine, he doesn’t fit the description of a stereotypical liberal musician. Experiencing his creative energy inspires me to my own art, and maybe that’s one more thing my son and I have come to share.

Day of Death, Day of Life

Saturday, August 26th, 2006

In Lexington this morning, a commuter jet crashed while trying to take off from the wrong runway, killing 49 of the 50 souls on board. I bicycled out to Shared Silence, and left for Kelley Ridge when I got home, to help Joan get her armoire to the upper floor. I didn’t find out about the accident until she told me. Jeffrey had to leave, but I stayed and had lunch with her, Caitlan, Josh, Pat, and Verla. Caitlan and I talked about her internship, and I also found out that Josh will be working full time as a screen printer for the 10th Planet. Joan sent me home with gifts, including Berry’s book on Harlan Hubbard and two of Joe’s old wooden boxes that will enable me to create assemblage under the influence of Joseph Cornell. She also loaned me a James McMullen book which totally throws open my thinking with respect to a concept for the Brass Band Festival poster. I worked outside when I got home, swept the driveway, and finished stacking my salvaged bricks. I got an email informing me that the son of a cycling pal (Martin V of Burgin) had died in a rock-climbing fall. I helped Dana finish her food preparations for Bruce’s visit, just as he arrived. It seemed so amazing to have him here after his first solo Interstate drive in a very long time. It was only a year ago that he was still in the thick of a battle against potentially deadly infections, so this marks another important milestone in his slow recovery. Jeannette and Ben stopped by to see him and have a bite to eat. Terie, Marty, Joan, and Caitlan paid him a visit, too. It’s been a happy evening, in a house not usually so full of life, but I’m acutely aware of the overwhelming sense of tragedy that so many other Central Kentucky families must be feeling tonight.

The sour and the sweetness

Friday, August 25th, 2006

Even though Dana made me blueberry pancakes this morning, we almost quarreled about the upcoming pirate gig. I realized later that it really had nothing to do with that. I was upset about continuing problems with my Mac G4. Make no mistake about it, Apple Computer has manufactured at least one miserably poor product, and it happens to be sitting on my desk.

A more enjoyable thing was taking what I learned in Kathleen’s studio yesterday and starting work on Florence and Bill’s 50th Anniversary collage. However, the best part of my day was finding out that Fron had already string-trimmed the gully at the Clan graveyard. I was shocked to discover that it was finished, and all I had to do was mow the grass in the orchard. And then he filled my box with tomatoes again. I definitely like this guy…

Best insight of the day

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006

“When in doubt, make another pot of coffee.”

                                          —Dana