An Austrian farmer severed his own hand with a log splitter, but kept his cool. This is not how you want to get your fifteen minutes of fame.
Archive for the ‘Current Events’ Category
Cool, calm, and dissected
Monday, June 5th, 2006The Secretariat will disavow any knowledge
Saturday, May 6th, 2006Silver Charm, Real Quiet, Charismatic, Funny Cide, Smarty Jones… There’s been a lot of buzz over the past decade about the emergence of a new Super Horse and Triple Crown Winner. I watched each of those horses win the Derby, but hadn’t experienced the kind of emotion I felt today seeing Barbaro accelerate to his impressive victory. Didn’t even mind waiting another day to catch an M:I:3 matinee.
Various & Sundry, part thirty-six
Saturday, April 29th, 2006— It was a small group of local runners this morning, due to the Derby Festival in Louisville. I’m sure most of them were competing in the 13.1-miler, but my pals Don and Larry were doing the full Marathon. Mort and I did ten miles at a comfortable enough pace to talk the whole time, covering a range of subjects from mentorship, aging, rail trails, grassroots activism, minority politics, and the separation of church and state, which was a great way to start a birthday. After I got home, Lee stopped by to present her gift—a copy of The Emerald Book, which she found in her grandmother’s attic. It’s troubling to think it wasn’t so long ago that third and fourth graders were reading the poems of Shakespeare, Stevenson, Kipling, Tennyson, Coleridge, Hawthorne, Riley, and Emerson. It also contains reproductions of works by painters like Hals and Carpaccio, with short lessons in art appreciation. What happened to the idea of children having the imaginative freedom to be kids while they simultaneously advance on a gradient apprenticeship to adult culture? Instead, we have a glut of twenty-something adolescents attempting to understand the roots of Western Thought by watching a Brad Pitt movie, as primary schoolers learn that “fuck” can be either a verb, noun, or interjection. Does anyone know how we let this happen?
— Although we had a good turnout at our banquet Thursday evening, most of our strong Centre College supporters were absent because, unfortunately, we were competing with the appearance of Helen Thomas as part of their Press Distinguished Lecture Series. Not surprisingly, the veteran White House correspondent directed her criticism at the president, suggesting he follow the advice given to LBJ during Viet Nam and “Declare a victory and leave”. Please pay closer attention, Helen—that’s what our enemies may already be in the process of doing. Jordanian Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, in a desperate attempt to impede the steady rise of Iraqi democracy, revealed his appearance in a recent propaganda video. In another tape, Egyptian Ayman al-Zawahri pleaded impotently with Muslims to oppose our Arab allies, and he declared that militants have “broken the back” of the U.S.-led effort. In the face of such frantic attempts on the part of Al-Qaida to remain relevant in Iraq, now is not the time to abandon the fledgling coalition government.
— Terie and Marty came over for either a late lunch or an early dinner—not sure which—with berry pie and ice cream (I don’t do cake on April 29th, thank you). Marty described his new pc game, Rome: Total War, and we watched a classic M:I episode, “The System” (we used to call it “Johnny Costa” back in the 60s) while Dana and Terie finished the tuna melts, keeping an eye on the NFL draft at the same time. I’d already received my gifts of a wristwatch and set of Koh-I-Noor Nexis art pens from Dana. Terie and Marty surprised me with a Serenity DVD. Well, maybe my home is not a hotbed of high culture, but who can find fault with a full day of pleasurable cooleosity?
— Ok, it’s 54. Happy Birthday to me.
Revoltin’ Developments
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006• Our hometown newspaper abruptly drops the “Dilbert” daily comic strip.
• During live curling coverage, a student at the gym says, “That’s a sport you could still do when you’re 50.”
• As if it isn’t already difficult enough to deter people from corrupting good identity programs, Google actually encourages others to produce versions of their logo that are really bad.
• A shocked cousin Shirley announces that she’s lost her job with Relizon, following its acquisition.
• Officials release more details about Governor Fletcher‘s complications of pancreatitis.
• Student leaders at the University of Washington reject a memorial to “Pappy” Boyington.
• A village in Germany is swamped by liquid pig manure.
• Local Arts Commissioners name Jennifer Brummett their Citizen of the Year.
Tarnished Silver vs Baby Shark
Sunday, February 19th, 2006James and I were laughing about the excessive hype that has surrounded Bode Miller, the faltering American skier, and got into a good conversation about behind-the-scenes commercialization of various Olympic personality types. When humble, dogged, amateur-style athletes prevail over the high-exposure, corporate-style athletes, marketers don’t think they have as much to work with, so often stick with an Olympic failure if their image investment still solves the demographic equation.
Dale Earnhardt’s attitude that a second-place finisher is just the “first loser” may resonate strongly with most gold-medal contenders, but the world of celebrity endorsement is different, and always will be driven more by overall persona than actual competitive results. That’s why you can expect advertising executives to be much more attracted to a cute snowboarder‘s impulsive screw-up than a veteran skier‘s credo of Olympic longevity—
“Spend a lot time on the hill, spend time training, and then, if you work hard over a long period of time, with a lot of focus, good things will happen to you in the end, and… use your head while you’re having fun.”
Silly Li’l Pitchurs
Wednesday, February 8th, 2006Last April I wrote, “If I make a mistake and publish a typo, everybody feels bad, but nobody has a funeral. I’m not an architect. My designs can’t fall down and kill anybody.”
Well, let’s take another look at that. Even though I haven’t made much money at it in recent years, I still consider myself a cartoonist, and, if you haven’t noticed, people are now actually getting killed over a few cartoons.
I remember writing a report in high school about this “ungentlemanly art,” after I’d sent a batch of correspondence to famous editorial cartoonists. Paul Conrad, at the beginning of his long career at the Los Angeles Times, sent me a friendly letter with helpful details that became my favorite among the replies. (As a result, I always felt a personal connection to him, and was elated several years later when Los Angles mayor Sam Yorty failed to successfully sue Conrad, who drew Yorty dressed in a Napoleon suit.)
After that project opened my eyes to political opinion, I’ve never underestimated the power of a cartoon, but this current situation borders on the absurd. In the words of Doug Marlette, “…the world has, in fact, become a cartoon.”
My fellow Americans
Friday, January 27th, 2006Seems like more than the usual number of thought-provoking statistics have come to my attention recently, or maybe I’ve just been paying more attention lately when I hear them.
I learned that 40,000 American are now over the age of 100. That’s rather encouraging. I suppose I’ve had that personal target myself for awhile, at least since I first learned about Josie Dixon’s longevity. Uncle Clarence is giving it the old college try. Each generation to follow will have a better shot at it.
More discouraging is the fact that 500,000 American children are now living in foster homes. One in ten children are born to teen mothers and it’s probably significantly higher in Kentucky. One in five children grow up in poverty, but it’s obvious that poverty is defined differently than when I was a kid in the 1950s. We ran barefoot in the summer, wore hand-me-downs, and got only a few new, modestly priced toys each year, and only at Christmas. In elementary school there was the opportunity to buy a popsicle in the afternoon (before or after recess, I don’t recall), and they cost a nickel. I don’t remember ever having one of those popsicles unless a friend shared one with me. I didn’t have the remotest sense of being “poor,” and, looking back on it, I don’t think we were. Today, many “poor” children have video game consoles, cable TV, and stylish clothing. To me, being poor in the 21st century is less about material things. 40% of American boys are being raised without biological dads.
A new poll says that 91% of Americans believe in God and 87% think there’s a heaven. Only 67% believe there’s a devil, but 74% report they believe in hell.
Do I believe in heaven?
I believe in God, and because there is a God, there must exist somewhere in His creation the perfect abode for the soul… the highest state of being in unity with the Creator.
Do I believe in hell?
I believe in God, and because there is a God, there must exist somewhere in His creation a place where justice is meted out to those who commit the greatest evils… a place for those who ordered the trench assaults of World War I, for those who behead noncombatants in front of video cameras, for those who torture children and then, in response to their pleas for mercy, rape them to death.
And I believe there is a devil because of the previous sentence.
Various & Sundry, part thirty-one
Saturday, January 21st, 2006— When I got up at 6:30 to check the weather, the wind with light rain was enough deterrent for me to call off my scheduled run. I guess I have to admit I’m not as hard-core as I used to be. Dana and I did yoga instead, with the Charles and Lisa tape, waiting for live TV coverage showing the return of the Kentucky National Guard’s 623rd. Josh and his unit had some initial delays in getting out of Iraq, since they had to fill up a plane first, but he’s been back in the States for a number of days now, and was supposed to fly into Louisville this morning. When he touches down and is greeted by family, it will mark the end of his perilous overseas deployment. Welcome back, Josh!
— Last night Hayley’s team met its match with some athletic, high-pressure ball players from Lincoln County High. Our Belle displayed some skilled moments, but most of her minutes showed a hesitancy that comes from inexperience with competition at this level of intensity. She faced a energetic, senior-dominated squad. I think she also defers too often on the floor to older teammates, rather than place more confidence in her own leadership, which she’s more inclined to do when she’s not nervous, and then she shoots more, finishes her powerful drives to the basket, or finds an open player. When she performs that way she usually has a high-scoring game. The consistency is sure to come, but she needs to find a way to bear down and trust her own abilities. I wish she had a better coach, and some day she will. She has a lot of basketball ahead of her. It will be a joy to watch.
— I made more progress today on remodelling the small kitchen off our upstairs conference room. It’s hard to explain why it’s been so neglected over the years, but this is the year to complete the project. It’s proven in many ways to be the log jam that impedes the last phase of physical organization that has to take place for us to have the kind of studio space we always intended for the Town House. I also wrote an email to the chairman of the Library expansion committee describing our desire to recycle some materials from the demolition of the church to take place across the street this summer. We’d like to take stone, brick, or both, and create a rubble-style paved driveway. I think there’s a good chance the project will get a green light, but it’ll take some “Clan-Power” for me to pull off my end of the deal.
It’s all leading somewhere
Monday, January 2nd, 2006It’s interesting how one simple act—in this case, my appointment to the Bicycle Commission—can trigger a chain reaction of unexpected developments. Less than a year ago I wouldn’t have expected to become so interested in subjects like the simultaneous crises of aging baby boomers and obese children, transportation enhancement issues, and regional planning, and now I’ve just discovered the sober but potentially controversial analysis of Robert Bruegmann. Does any of this have to do with bicycles?
It most certainly does…
My predictions for 2006
Saturday, December 31st, 2005 • The issue of a nuclear Iran fully ignites as a major global crisis and precipitates some type of military action before the end of the year.
— reference
• Despite the conventional wisdom that Academy members won’t choose two portrayals of dead musicians back to back, long-shot Joaquin Phoenix takes home an Oscar for his Johnny Cash performance when Hoffman, Strathairn, and Ledger split the “progressive” votes.
— reference
• Voters, upset with a blatantly hypocritical broadening of investigations into the governor’s partisan supporters, cast ballots to further reduce the number of Democrats in the Kentucky House.
— reference
• Aggragetors and reading lists for RSS feeds will hit a tipping point of mass appeal in the same way that Web logs did in 2005, making blogs an even more popular “spectator sport.”
— reference
• Senator Clinton enters the autumn with such an insurmountable lead in funding over Kerry, Edwards, and her other opponents that the media acknowledges her inevitable nomination and shifts its attention to who might successfully challenge her on the Republican side, leaving the door open for Bayh to exploit her “frontrunner” status and surge in polls by the end of the year.
— reference
• Critics shower Tom Cruise with praise for finally “getting it right” with his decision to put the fate of his M:I franchise in the hands of “Alias” creator J.J. Abrams, and the partners follow their summer box-office smash with an announcement that Abrams will scrap “Alias” to develop a new “Mission: Impossible” television series starring Ving Rhames as the team leader, with “the voice” of the mission controller to be Cruise himself.
— reference
They’ll be back
Sunday, December 4th, 2005One of the world’s most dangerous rebels has been blown up in a remote tribal region of Waziristan—Hamza Rabia, the No. 5 or No. 3 senior man (depending on who’s doing the ranking) in the al-Qaida terrorist network. Unidentified sources report that the explosion was the result of an air attack from multiple robot craft.
The Terminators are on the move. Thank goodness they’re under the control of the good guys. Let’s all pray it stays that way.
For the record
Thursday, September 15th, 2005This is the day my friend Basil was forced to resign his position in state government by Governor Fletcher, along with the other eight individuals indicted by Stumbo’s grand jury. From the beginning, the Governor made the steadfast claim that, although mistakes were made, there was no criminal wrongdoing, and eventually pardoned all nine. Today he modified his stance to admit they violated hiring laws—unintentionally—and should leave his administration so that the controversy can be laid to rest (which his opponents will never permit, now that there’s political blood in the water).
The fact of matter is that too many Republicans went to Frankfort thinking they could play by the same rules that their rivals had written. All the Fletcher appointees needed to have done to level the field for state employment was to have abolished an illegal prerequisite that was in place for decades—Democrat Party influence. Their mantra must be (and should always have been): “Fill the political appointments with qualified Republicans, but hire in a party-blind manner the best people for the merit jobs and commence building the most competent state workforce in Kentucky history.”
We have GO for throttle up
Tuesday, September 6th, 2005Back home at the Town House, and it doesn’t take long before the studio engines are revving: deadline for a horse industry magazine ad, and Kentucky Trust jump-starts more Website refinements.
In addition, the Salvation Army Captain and I will be having a working lunch tomorrow to map out a local community relations plan for the hurricane disaster response. There are a lot of developments that the public needs to know right away. We’ll be setting up a “disaster response center” for the collection of emergency goods that the Captain will take with him when he leaves for the damage zone. The United Way wants to partner with the Army to organize a team of local volunteers to provide help under his leadership. He hopes to act as an on-site source of information for the media back here at home. The Kentucky-Tennessee Division, like others in the Southern Territory, will be opening up our summer camp for evacuee relocation. And there’s even more to communicate.
Timing is tricky, because Dana and I have a lot to accomplish before Friday, so we can take the weekend for our 23rd anniversary observation, and then after that I’ll be leaving for Lake Huron and my annual salmon harvest.
Clan members make a successful escape
Friday, September 2nd, 2005The Hornsbys of Metairie are heading our way via Baton Rouge. They left Sunday morning before Katrina hit the Gulf coast. Timsby’s dad is reportedly stranded at a VA hospital where he works, and there’s no word yet about his circumstances or whether the facility is being evacuated. The family is traveling light.
We’ll connect with them in Ohio near the site of the Renaissance Festival.
Headley Lice (recently promoted by Her Majesty to the rank of Admiral) cannot get himself in the mood for a playful celebration.
Various & Sundry, part twenty-three
Thursday, September 1st, 2005— Month of August workout totals: Swim-7; Bike-5; Run-5; Lift-0; Yoga-0.
— In a display of auto-beneficence triggered by serendipity, I endorsed a mildly convoluted but brilliant scheme put forward by my pal Ernst for a double upgrade of our two-wheelers—he strips his bike of its components, replacing them with state-of-the-art, gizmotic sweetness and recycles the perfectly wonderful parts to my Peugeot. I end up with a virtually “new” bicycle—an entirely different shifter/gear-ratio setup that transforms a 12-speed to a more modern 16-speed, with superior rims, performance seat, new brakes, bars, and stem, plus a lighter alloy crank assembly. The deal was sealed when he uncovered a roll of rare, hot-yellow Benotto bar tape. My 29-mile, duel-knob ride test Wednesday night was dominated by even more joyous delight than I was expecting. The single item that didn’t fit was the rear brake caliper, and so the only former elements that remained, other than my classic steel frame, were the tires, front derailleur, rear brakes, and seat post. Thus, a small, self-centered part of my life as a fitness geek is ripe with satisfaction.
— There are a lot of Americans who are no fans of the Second Amendment, and I wish I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard or read the question, “Why do people need that kind of a weapon to go hunting?” Too bad it could not remain an abstract quarrel, so we need not acknowledge the reality of a grim but eloquent visual checkmate—the wire photo of a New Orleans business owner standing his ground, holding a pump-action Mossberg with pistol grip.
— I’m still trying to process the recent knowledge that Marty will leave soon to live hundreds of miles away. Our relationship since he came to Kentucky has been good for both of us. I understand why it’s happening, but the realization hasn’t penetrated into my emotional body.
— Bruce is anticipating going home as soon as this weekend. This time it looks fairly solid, but there have been false starts before, so I’ll believe it when it actually happens. I hope it does soon, my son…
Lord Christ, Have Mercy
Wednesday, August 31st, 2005 † † †
Hell on Earth…
What will be left when the Hornsby Family returns?
A plasmatic stew of jolting stimuli and revolting news
Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
• Another portion of America is singled out by Mother Nature for a round of devastation and paralyzing emotional trauma.
• I observe in a mirror the image of my departed brother-in-law, sneering back at me as a pirate captain, his frame bristling with weapons.
• The pet cat of a friend is stomped to death by an angry husband, plunging her life into a miserable chain-reaction of self-rescuing actions.
• My Governor declares his daring intent to cast a wide safety net of pardons to spike the ambitions of the unsavory political boss currently abusing the office of Attorney General.
• Jeffrey and Lea’s dachshund “Odie” is slaughtered by a coyote in the woods behind their home at The Blue Bank Farm.
• Paula, the state employee who coordinates the work of the KBBC and assists those of us who sit on the panel, took indefinite sick leave with the news that she has pancreatic cancer spreading to her liver.
• My friend and favorite neighbor Danny is preparing to move his family to Kansas.
• Bruce‘s condition yo-yos from lucid progress to feverish setback, almost on a daily basis.
• We learn that Marty will be leaving Kentucky to live with his mother and her boyfriend in South Carolina.
~Gasp!~ The PRC is way ahead of us in riding bicycles
Friday, August 26th, 2005Congressman Chandler spoke to our Rotary Club at lunch today. He pounded on the subject of an emerging China as a threat to the U.S. economy. The reporter from the local newspaper was sitting next to me. During the Q&A she asked, “Would you support a war with China over Taiwan?” I don’t know why, but I like that kind of spunk. Her name is Liz, and she has a blog. I just checked it out for the first time. Sometimes it seems like everyone has a blog, but that’s far from true. There are still some very significant people who do not yet have blogs. (Use the stuff, Petey!)
Hot gates vs cool heads
Monday, August 22nd, 2005I can’t get “Gates of Fire” off the front of my mind today. It’s at times like this I could use a basic intellect boost (remember that Krell device in “Forbidden Planet?”) and coalesce all my fragments of thought to produce a single, coherent insight. To be more specific, I keep thinking of Thermopylae, and what it meant, and, beyond that, the place it holds in our history. How many times has it inspired those who faced impossible odds, or given meaning to sacrifices that would serve no immediate purpose other than to lay the groundwork for a subsequent overcoming, or compelled strivers to place the welfare of the many over life itself? And if so, it must be true that knowledge of the heroic feat was present in the mental quiver of an educated person. Is that still true today? If you asked a hundred Americans old enough to vote, how many of them would recognize the word “Thermopylae?” And of those, how many would know what it meant? And of those, how many could explain its significance to Western Civilization? And of those, how many would believe it was a positive contribution to the world that followed? And who among them might speculate with me about how the event had perhaps influenced Wallace and his Scots? Washington and his Rabble? Houston and his Texicans? Churchill, Roosevelt, and Eisenhower and the ordinary men they motivated to storm death’s sanctum on both sides of the planet?
—may contain spoilers—
I wish I had the capacity to take Pressfield‘s premise—that Leonidas hand-picked the 300 Spartan warriors, not for their own character, but for the character of their wives, mothers, and daughters, knowing that the ultimate victory would come to pass when the embattled Greeks took heart from the conduct of the Spartan people, which would in turn be based on the Spartans observing the conduct of the women who would survive their slain husbands, sons, and fathers—and apply it to the national dilemma we face today. I wish I had the ability to write cogently about our collective response to the public posture of American women such as Cindy Sheehan, Evelyn Husband, and Shannon Spann, and what it may indicate for our future as a society, and the longevity of the institutions we inherit from the ancients—from that time when the very survival of human freedom as a concept balanced on a spear point called Thermopylae.
There now. If you managed to wade all the way through that swirling, whiny muck above to reach this point, dear reader, all I can do is kiss you lightly on the forehead and say, “Thank you. Now, please go hose yourself off…”
A soldier’s night
Friday, August 12th, 2005Josh was quiet, but clearly happy to be among family. I can’t remember the last time there were so many of us gathered together. The “Houseboat Trilogy” was a hit, and Seth deserved to get most of the glory.
Welcome back, Josh. Have a good time before you must return. Forgive us for the fake video violence that we create for amusement. We know that you’re a professional, and that the dangers you face are very real. We can play at fighting only because you volunteer to go to work behind a machine gun.