Category: Spam

Maria and I were discussing the increasingly esoteric and convoluted nature of spam, just now, including the fact that much of bulk email no longer serves a discernible purpose. I frequently receive spam from nonsense names, advertising nothing, free of hyperlinks or parsible sentences.

I pointed out that one reason it’s gotten so complicated is the constant, high-speed arms race between spammer and anti-spam software vendor; as new regular expressions are devised and new efforts made to beat them, whole fields of technique can be created and discarded in a week. And then Maria said something that chilled me to my very bones.

“What if,” she said, “the vendors are putting spam out there just to keep selling their software?”

I’m terrified, now, that she might be right.

Anyway, read Spam As Folk Art.

Dear webmaster@xorph.com

“I am contacting you about cross linking. I am interested in your site because it looks like it’s relevant to a site for which I am seeking links.

The site offers great information regarding cosmetic treatments and aesthetic procedures. This company specializes in providing acne treatment, laser hair removal, microdermabrasion, removal of stretch marks and other services.”

Well shit! That’s completely relevant to a near-dead webcomic and a journal where I make fun of stupid emails!

Spam

Horny teen sluts getting it on for the first time

Come on, now, that’s a contradiction in terms!

Spam

Kirk, You have been invited to a wild evening carefully as crock

  1. What?
  2. “Kirk?”

Spam:

RGA        Do you have what it takes to be wealthy

This reminds me of the old Steve Martin SNL bit: “Wanna know how to get a million dollars and never pay any taxes? First, get a million dollars.”

Subject: stonecoldskywarp,Secret, Coca Cola, Disney, Sony,

and then it turns out to just be spam. That’s the most exciting subject line I’ve read in weeks! I feel cheated.

Spam

Subject: If your having stomach problems,read this / vytr wqwtpekmqdtk

...

Since "Death begins in the colon," ...

What?

Spam:

  TV Too Small?     Turn yours into a 150 INCH Big Screen TV

At first I actually thought “TV” was yet another euphemism for “wang.” I know, 150 inches seems like quite a claim to make, but these guys don’t really have any hyperbolic limits.