Category: Discoveries

Dear gentle reader: this blog has been operating continuously since I was a teenager. The writing below is at least a decade old. In that time every molecule of my body has been replaced, along with many foolish ideas and flighty beliefs. I want to keep some of those things public out of an honesty and humility I owe the world. I trust you to carry that context with you.

I should probably never really have a country.

“Public nudity is compulsory, euthanasia is illegal, military funding has been stripped back, and young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables.”

Work has been a tomb this afternoon–those of the developers who aren’t out with new babies are out watching Master and Commander or just avoiding the gloomy weather. I, as one of those unfortunates who’s still paid by the hour, don’t get to sneak out early, and I can’t do anything else on my project right now until somebody who’s gone gets back to me.

I’m kind of stuck for content on here lately, because it’s a strongly routined November so far–time passes quickly, but there’s not a lot of excitement or danger to be had. At work I run queries, wait on those queries, try to fix those queries so they won’t fail again, and repeat; at school I learn useful things, but they’re about as enthralling as you’d expect from a graduate comp sci schedule that’s heavy on algorithms. (Well, I had fun with string search, but I’m not going to write an entry about it.) And on Wednesdays I play Grand Theft Auto.

When I’m twiddling my thumbs waiting for mean ol’ queries to yell at me, though, I keep finding myself at William Wu’s Riddles (via vitanuova). A lot of the riddles there are the kinds of problems I was given as “fun” challenges at Gifted Student stuff when I was younger, and at which I was completely horrible. I find that now, at 22 (and without a competitive atmosphere), I actually consider them fun and worthwhile. I still expend lots of time and effort on solving even the stuff in the easy section, but it’s a great payoff when I get one. The only letdown is that I immediately want to show this off to somebody, but a) that’s lame, they’re easy and b) that kind of defeats the point of a riddle site.

If I get a little more motivation under me, though, I hopefully will be able to reuse some of this knowledge in the next six weeks, as I insanely try to design an RPG system. Those of you nerds who read this but not Crummy: want in?

Dr. Imam has just mentioned that apparently, he knows “bishops” in chess as “elephants.”

I will never refer to them as “bishops” again.

Did you know that a knot is 15% faster than a mile per hour? That means that if you have one of those handy tip-calculator pocket cards, you can instantly convert a speed in knots to the more familiar mph. Just pretend your speed is your bill, calculate the tip and add it to your total.

(Obviously, you can do this in your head too, but that’s not as glamorous.)

Today’s episode has been brought to you by science!

“Also, in an attempt to re-energize myself, I sort of scotch-taped a quart of milk to my face.”

Sometimes I think the reason the faces in AZWP are so expressive is because they are all Stephen’s real face.

“Just imagine squeezing a monkey into a deflated balloon, and then inserting that balloon into another, much bigger balloon, and then filling the space between the two carcasses with strawberry jam. Even though you can’t see its shape anymore, there’s a monkey in there, and it still performs most of the normal monkey functions like picking up pencils and making fun of the teacher; it just has to do so through a load of blubber. That is what I sit by in class.”

Rejoice, ye people, for AUDREY HAS A BLOG!