Hey, look guys! Guys, look! A major label is sponsoring a P2P service! It’s KillAweCellent! Let’s look at all you have to gain by switching from your current P2P network:

  • Download one of literally hundreds of songs, in just hours, from another QTrax user!
  • That means hours of fun avoiding “rollover to annoy” Flash ads for the Motorola BoxKuttr!
  • Then listen to your music a certain number of times!
  • And every time you listen, there’s a flashing ad on the screen telling you how to pay more money to listen to it again, or pay a monthly subscription fee!
  • And you can’t put it on your iPod!
  • Or listen to it in Winamp, iTunes, Windows Media or MusicMatch!
  • L-Linux? Gnrt! Mpf! GnaHA HA HA HA! That was pretty funny. You’re funny!
  • Our poor, hungry artists get compensated! Where by “compensated” we mean “a fraction of the profit we make off the ad displayed while you’re downloading, which was already less than one cent!”
  • Now, if you have ever used any other P2P network, you will be aware that certain software tools will break the DRM on QTrax songs and allow you to listen to them as long as you want. The tool for QTrax files, called “mpq2mp3,” will be available roughly ten days before the service launches!
  • Don’t get it or use it!
  • Because we’ll still try to sue you!

So what have we got here? A service that offloads bandwidth and hosting costs onto you, that allows you to do what you were already doing, only with broken legs and a leaky gut wound, and you can watch ads or pay to do it. Sounds like a BitTorrent killer, guys! WHOO HOO! Champagne enemas all around!

No one outside of EMI will ever use QTrax.