The WB and UPN will merge in September, creating a new network called CW (because it’ll be jointly owned by CBS, which owns UPN, and Time Warner). Presumably this means a bold new vision of alternating teensoaps with incredibly-low-production-values “urban” sitcoms and wrestling. Also maybe Star Trek?

This actually is a fairly big shakeup in the electromagnetic spectrum–a lot of areas have stations allocated to both UPN and the WB. The WB reliably does better than UPN, so that’s probably the station where CW will reside in most markets. I think it’s obvious, when all the factors are considered, that the leftover stations should go to: me.

Seriously, the first thing I thought when I read that headline was “but–but–what will happen to Veronica Mars?”