Okay, double-clicking is a terrible interface, all right? It’s TERRIBLE and STUPID. It’s wildly unintuitive and it distributes a conceptually atomic operation across two distinct actions!

This is, for all of you who come over to my place and try to use Firefox and get a surprise, why my mouse’s wheel button doesn’t open a new tab. It’s set to act like a double-click, as have been all my mice since 1998. I could tell when I was seventeen that double-clicking is bad usability, and all Jakob Nielsen cares about is whether my links are blue! I HATE EVERYTHING FUN!

This has been “Brendan Pretends to be Pat from Achewood.” Except I’m serious about double-clicking, dammit.