Someday I will invent a tiny device that consists entirely of a wound radio antenna, a one-tone speaker, a battery, and some adhesive. I will then attach these devices to every single thing I own. When I’m done with that, I will assign each device a unique low-watt radio band all for itself, and put together a remote control that can broadcast on any of those bands. The remote will be voice-operated, and keyed to my voice, so that all I have to say is “where is my {stupid, fucking, blue} CD case?” and the device attached to that CD case sets off a furious beeping. Maybe THEN I won’t LOSE THINGS SO OFTEN.

(Hypothetical problem #1: What happens when I lose the remote? I guess I could create a secondary backup remote to find the first, but that way madness lies.)