not falling down

And then…

If I die in such a strange and drug-related way that Rolling Stone is interested in reporting it, I hereby state that they are notallowed to do so unless they work in the phrase “seamy underground world of webcomics.”

I probably won’t have the chance to post this for a day or so, but I want to get my firstimpressions of Rodes 2 down now.

• I put the bongos in the smaller closet (where they can just think about what theydid). There are three distinct light control systems in there: a switch and two pull chains.They all control the same light.

• I set up my computer first. Y’know, so I could listen to music. You know. Hell. Anyway, therewas a brief scare when I thought I’d forgotten my mouse, but it turned out to be in my backpack.(Really.)
• The fireplace is about six inches deep and completely blocked off, yet it has a log in itanyway. It’s also about ankle deep in solid cobwebs.
• Continuing the “weird lights” theme, the light in the bathroom stays on if the switch is up ordown, and only goes off when it’s in the middle.
• The front room is a lot bigger than I’d remembered from my fleeting first impression, back inMay. Unfortunately, the middle room is correspondingly much smaller.
• In the cleaning-supplies closet, bizarrely, is a wadded-up feather eiderdown. At least, I thinkit’s an eiderdown. I’m pretty sure that’s what an eiderdown is.
• The faucet isn’t actually attached to the sink, and has a tendency to wobble around on its own.There’s only one towel rack, about eighteen inches wide, and it’s already pulling away from thewall. The toilet plunger, frighteningly, has somehow been turned inside out. (Counterpoint: It’sOUR BATHROOM! Our OWN BATHROOM and we don’t have to share it with ANYBODY!)
• I have discovered the World’s Cheapest Placemats, and they are here. They’re these threeperfectly rectangular sheets of white plastic. That’s it. Not even any cheap potato-printdecoration. And yes, there are three, despite the fact that there are four chairs at thetable.
• There are also absolutely no dishes. Like, not even ice cube trays, which you’d expect sincethere is a cabinet fridge. With Jon’s fridge, that brings us to a net total of two fridges. Theonly other food-related things in the whole place are the (empty) dish rack, the two boxes of EasyMac I brought and a case of Spritzer.
• There’s a cleverly booby-trapped chair on the back porch, which is propped against the wall insuch a way that it appears to be sit on-able, but has no actual back feet.
• My junk (my LARGE AMOUNTS of junk) is spread all over the front room right now, because I knowit’s not much use to start putting it away when we haven’t even decided who’s living where yet. I’ma little worried about the spiders eating it, though. And the Easy Mac.
• There are cracks everywhere–cracks in the closet walls, cracks in the paint, a crack in one ofthe doors that you can actually see through.
• Also the bathroom door doesn’t “shut” per se.
• This is about the ghettoest place I’ve ever lived.
• I’ve been here an hour and it already feels like home.

Tomorrow I am finally moving back to Centre. TOMORROW I am FINALLY moving BACK.

You can tell it’s serious because my computer is unplugged.

I’ve been wanting to go back for what seems like forever, and not just for broadband. Not much hashappened, really, but this still feels like it’s been a summer of Homeric proportions. I don’tknow, maybe we’re starting later than usual this year. I guess I wouldn’t want it any other way.Tomorrow I’m really a senior.

gather up yourjackets
move into the exits

P.S. Today’s IdiotCam© has been one of myfavorite jokes since fourth grade. I’m almost glad Mom bought one of the stupid things, since I cannow finally capture it in low-quality digital form.

Today is my sister’s birthday! Well, it was until nineteen minutes ago. Caitlan is eighteen! Happybirthday, Caitlan!

In the proud Adkins tradition, Caitlan plans to do nothing with her newly legal status but vote.(Well, the Adkins children tradition. Mom drinks sometimes.)

In other news, Sumana has frequently plugged Bookfinder, akickin’ service that, well, finds books. It’s kind of like the “network of bookstores” that Amazonuses to find out-of-print books, only much, much better. I was reading some of her comments on theservice and how cool it was, and I kept thinking “gee, I wish I had a rare or used book that I waslooking for.”

A couple days later, I was surprised to remember that I WAS looking for such a book, and had beenfor three years–Orson Scott Card’s short story omnibus, Maps In A Mirror. Bookfinderturned up several copies, all of which were too expensive at the moment, of course, but most ofwhich were still cheaper than the few an Amazon search turned up two years ago.

So I went away satisfied, but came back tonight when I remembered a book that this amazing girl hadshowed me at convention. Her namewas Anne, and she had this laugh, and she liked my brother a lot even though he didn’t realizethat, and–well, anyway. The book is Anthropology, and it’s one of those forced-restriction masterpieces: 101stories, each 101 words long. What I got to read of it was fantastic, and I wanted my own copy, butI remembered she’d said it was out of print.

Which it is–but tonight I found it for just ten bucks with shipping, and bought it. Thanksto Bookfinder! Hooray, Bookfinder!

(Expect a full retraction in two weeks, when I get it and it’s not nearly as good without a prettygirl around.)

Someday I will invent a tiny device that consists entirely of a wound radio antenna, a one-tonespeaker, a battery, and some adhesive. I will then attach these devices to every single thing Iown. When I’m done with that, I will assign each device a unique low-watt radio band all foritself, and put together a remote control that can broadcast on any of those bands. The remote willbe voice-operated, and keyed to my voice, so that all I have to say is “where is my {stupid,fucking, blue} CD case?” and the device attached to that CD case sets off a furious beeping. MaybeTHEN I won’t LOSE THINGS SO OFTEN.

(Hypothetical problem #1: What happens when I lose the remote? I guess I could create a secondarybackup remote to find the first, but that way madness lies.)

The report from Gruv:

“Gremlins from the Kremlin” is the title to an old school WW2-wartime Looney Tunespropaganda cartoon with heavy political messages, and a lot of mockery of prominent Naziofficials.

The man’s wisdom is beyond me. Also, now that I’ve repeated the phrase twice in these entries,it’ll probably start appearing on that listing even more frequently. Like “sabina kudmani.” Irealize that I can take steps to stop that, but I don’t want to put in that much effort. Also,saying “sabina kudmani” is starting to grow on me.

Slight update to this part of the site–if it’s working correctly, the IdiotCam© will onlyshow up on the front page, and not in the archives. Saves you having to look at my ugly mug everytime I reference another entry, at least.

Ken stopped by on his way back to Inez, and we drove around looking for nonexistent nylon guitarpicks, so that was fun. I really want Ken to get his own site, or blog, or something, so I can linkhim when I mention his name. Then you’d go there and read whatever he wrote. Everything would makeso much more sense to you. Get your own site, Ken!

Tonight there are tentative plans for my Uncle John and Aunt Dana (see?) and the mighty Andrew to stop by, so I canfinally see Andrew’s film Foreign Citizen, for which I shot a cameo back in May. But neversaw.

But I’m going to now, I think. I’m looking forward to it.

that was just another songyou wrote
for another girl

Three entries in two days! Madness! Today was the first day since coming home that I’ve actuallyspent entirely in my pajamas, eating ice cream and watching NewsRadio. I’m slipping.

(Parenthetic insert: I watch too much tv lately, because I’m usually the only one in the house, andit gets quiet. Aside from confirming that daytime tv is entirely ass-based, I’ve come to reallydespise the new Clorox Plus commercial. You know the one, where there’s the fake-calypso guy in thebackground singing “Mama’s got the magic of something something, Mama’s got the magic of CloroxPlus.” It’s one of the most mind-itching jingles in years, and also, what the hell? Can’t Daddy dothe wash too? Or are men just not good enough, you sexist swine? I do my own laundry! Maybeyou should too!)

I did have a long day yesterday, though, what with the concert (below) and having been up at 0530 hrs before that. Today I finished up thefirst xorph.com wallpaper, which I’ll post in ExtraCredit when I’ve updated THAT page, and checked out my server-side hit tracking. This alwaysproduces different results than the offsite tracker, but I usually use the latter for the (stupid) reason thatthey’re easier to read. I believe this is because Extreme only tracks whole pages, whereas theserver tracks every .inc and image I host, producing outrageously inflated counts.

It also produces very different search attempts, though, which I’ve yet to figure out. For example,according to it, searches for “sabina kudmani” have led to my site on not one but twooccasions. I don’t think I’ve ever typed the words “sabina kudmani” until just now, and then thetime right before that.

I’m a little afraid now, actually, because this could easily turn into a vicious cycle: I sayconfused things about “sabina kudmani,” which makes Google bump the site higher in its rankings,which means even MORE people come here looking for “sabina kudmani” news and resources, and I getever more boggled and it becomes a running joke, et cetera. It could end up being like the Mac Hall / Digimon thing.

I’m borrowing the Leonardonic term DSR, forDumb Search Results, to apply to the following:

• “wartime cartoon russian rhapsody:” Cartoons are mentioned here fairly often, I guess, but it’snot like “rhapsody” or “wartime” are words I type every day. Or ever.

• “stupider:” I say this, but I don’t think I’ve ever written it. Someone contradict me.
• “gremlins wwii” or
• “gremlins from the kremlin:” I guess those two go together, but I can’t for the life of mefigure out a) what they are or b) how they ended up here. I’m inclined to think that the server isexperimenting with recreational hallucinogenics.
• “threaded drill bit:” The only word, of those, that I remember using is “bit,” and it’s notexactly uncommon on the internet.
• “beetle bailey hardcore comix:” The hell.
• “marcellus soul band aid:” I do know where this one came from. I still had to mention itbecause “Marcellus Soul Band” would be a great name for a–well, you get the idea.

Finally, Sumana gets to see Guster and all I get are the stupid Gin Blossoms! What is this bullshit? I gotripped off! But I’m happy for her, I guess. Dang.

The Gin Blossomswere here. Here. Last night. I saw the Gin Blossoms last night. Here.

I put up a brave front, but the fact is I know almost nothing about music. This is a vastimprovement over, say, 1998, when I knew literally nothing about music (embarrassinganecdote: I once asked Erika “So, what other songs has U2 put out besides ‘With or WithoutYou?’”).

So 98-99 was my Big Into Gin Blossoms period. I actually own their greatest hits (only they couldmake their third album a greatest hits album [for the record, a couple of non-hits on there aren’tbad]). I knew nothing about pop or instrumentation or songs that had more than three chords, andthey were a lot of fun to listen to. This was right after they broke up, I believe, and “HeyJealousy” was still likely to get a cheer if it came on the radio.

It is frankly bizarre to think that I saw them live in concert last night. Granted, EKU is a large school, and it’s kind of surprisingthey don’t get more bands, really. I think Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds were here once.

Anyway, my friend Erin (Michalik), an RAcomrade for two years running, called me at 6 and asked if I’d be willing to go see the GinBlossoms for free. We got there as they were finishing their first song (”Follow You Down,”naturally) and there were like a hundred people there.

A hundred people. At a Gin Blossoms concert.

Maybe another twenty people arrived during the whole show. The Coliseum can hold something like athousand. This is not the saddest part. No, that would be the lead singer actually asking people totry stage-diving. Or trying to run out into the crowd with a corded mike. Or getting said miketangled around the chair he stood on (making him roughly my height). Or the fact that he dressedlike he really wanted to be in TheStrokes.

I felt bad for them, really. What’s it like to play to audiences of thousands, then break up, thenget back together and find yourself playing for a hundred dispassionate kids at Eastern KentuckyUniversity? Granted, this is probably just karma catching up to them for selling the same song somany times, but still.

I did have a lot of fun, in a surreal kind of way, and it was nice to hear the songs–exactly theway they sound on the albums, but much louder–again. It was good to see Erin againtoo.

I feel better for Angie, too. The man’splaying to crowds nearly as big as the Gin Blossoms, for Pete’s sake. Also, they both do RocketMan, and Angie does it a lot better.