{"id":561,"date":"2005-01-24T23:57:21","date_gmt":"2005-01-25T04:57:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/creator\/2005\/01\/24\/story-hacks-third-in-a-series\/"},"modified":"2005-01-24T23:57:21","modified_gmt":"2005-01-25T04:57:21","slug":"story-hacks-third-in-a-series","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/2005\/01\/24\/story-hacks-third-in-a-series\/","title":{"rendered":"Story Hacks:  Third in a Series"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Most professional writers have a cutesy answer to the common question &#8220;where do you get your ideas?&#8221;  They&#8217;ll say things like &#8220;I don&#8217;t know,&#8221; or &#8220;stop asking me that,&#8221; or &#8220;I make them up, okay?  I make them up.&#8221;  Hilarious!  But unhelpful nonsense all the same.<\/p>\n<p>While every writer must groom and harvest his or her own individual muse-lines, it&#8217;s important to have the old standards as a fallback.  That&#8217;s right&#8211;every writer in the world started out with the same closely guarded set of idea sources!  Story Hacks had to break a solemn Writer&#8217;s Oath to bring you these, but here they are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>In the future, put the ideas for things you&#8217;ve already written into reverse time capsules.  Open them now!\n<\/li>\n<li>Eat a bunch of alphabet soup without chewing and throw it up real fast.\n<\/li>\n<li>Call (818) 775-3993 and request extension 1013.  When someone answers, say &#8220;we know the truth, Jaleel,&#8221; and hang up.  An envelope will be slipped under your door in three to five business days.\n<\/li>\n<li>Find a police officer, and hit him until he gives you some good ones!\n<\/li>\n<li>Using the ancient art of misanthropomancy, divine your ideas from the entrails of your slaughtered enemies.*\n<p>*<span style=\"font-size: 85%;\">Note:  if short on enemies, try previous method.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><i>Today&#8217;s Hack in a Nutshell:<\/i>  Why think when you can follow instructions!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most professional writers have a cutesy answer to the common question &#8220;where do you get your ideas?&#8221; They&#8217;ll say things like &#8220;I don&#8217;t know,&#8221; or &#8220;stop asking me that,&#8221; or &#8220;I make them up, okay? I make them up.&#8221; Hilarious! But unhelpful nonsense all the same. While every writer must groom and harvest his or [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mild-lunacy","category-story-hacks"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/561","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=561"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/561\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=561"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=561"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=561"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}