{"id":280,"date":"2005-09-16T08:14:36","date_gmt":"2005-09-16T13:14:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/creator\/2005\/09\/16\/what-the-hell-b-button\/"},"modified":"2005-09-16T08:14:36","modified_gmt":"2005-09-16T13:14:36","slug":"what-the-hell-b-button","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/2005\/09\/16\/what-the-hell-b-button\/","title":{"rendered":"What the hell, B button."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.modernhumorauthority.com\/2005\/09\/16\/the-revolution-will-be-television\/\" title=\"&quot;Nintendo\u2019s drawing room, it would appear, is a den.&quot;\">Everyone&#8217;s<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.livejournal.com\/users\/misterbowtie\/134552.html\" title=\"I don't actually know this dude, but we went to school together.\">a-tizzy<\/a> about <a href=\"http:\/\/www.1up.com\/do\/newsStory?cId=3143782\" title=\"Trafficked out, last time I checked.\">the controller<\/a> for Nintendo&#8217;s next console.  By &#8220;everyone&#8221; I mean &#8220;all my friends are nerds.&#8221;  In case the article I linked is still down, allow me to summarize for you:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>it&#8217;s a TV remote\n<\/li>\n<li>with a thingy that goes in it<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The general reaction is positive.  It&#8217;s new and different!  It&#8217;s not the ten thousandth attempt to recreate the Dual Shock!  You move the <i>whole controller<\/i> to move things on screen!  (Yes, lovely, and check out the front end.  That&#8217;s an IR panel.  Want to know what happens when you point it straight down?)<\/p>\n<p>My reaction is not positive, and this morning I remembered why:  I am one of a rarefied set of humans who have actually played a video game with a remote before.  That&#8217;s right.  There was, for some time, in my living room, a <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Phillips_CD-i\" title=\"It belonged to my cousin Bruce, who was living with us then.\">Philips CD-i<\/a>.  I tried to swing a katana with it.  I directed a claymation man through an Egyptian sewer.  And, though I&#8217;m not ungrateful to Bruce for letting us play his video games, the fact of the matter is that its user experience<\/p>\n<p>STOP READING HERE, MOM<\/p>\n<p>sucked a dog&#8217;s penis.<\/p>\n<p>Metaphorically.<\/p>\n<p>You didn&#8217;t stop reading, did you, Mom?  Sorry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Everyone&#8217;s a-tizzy about the controller for Nintendo&#8217;s next console. By &#8220;everyone&#8221; I mean &#8220;all my friends are nerds.&#8221; In case the article I linked is still down, allow me to summarize for you: it&#8217;s a TV remote with a thingy that goes in it The general reaction is positive. It&#8217;s new and different! It&#8217;s not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,35,54],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-280","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-angst","category-family","category-games"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/280","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/280\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}