{"id":1943,"date":"2010-01-15T09:48:55","date_gmt":"2010-01-15T17:48:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/?p=1943"},"modified":"2010-01-15T09:50:57","modified_gmt":"2010-01-15T17:50:57","slug":"he-even-managed-to-include-the-secret-bonus-criterion-dog-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/2010\/01\/15\/he-even-managed-to-include-the-secret-bonus-criterion-dog-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"He even managed to include the Secret Bonus Criterion!  (dog sex)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Over on the Facebook feed, Stephen kindly took it upon himself to respond to my last post with 101 words that simultaneously satisfy all my plot-criteria:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Melinda looked down at her gun. &#8220;I had no idea this had so many bullets in it,&#8221; she yelled. &#8220;Turns out I&#8217;m pretty powerful, even though I am a woman.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A pause for dramatic effect, then: &#8220;Now if I can just quit being so sad all the time, I can find out who had sex with all of my dogs.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Melinda had thirty dogs.<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly, her phone rang! It was her best friend who said, &#8220;I had sex with your other best friend yesterday!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Dramatic pause. Then she (the best friend on the phone) said, &#8220;My desires are tearing us apart!!!!&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>So that&#8217;s that, I guess.  No more need to read stories!  Thanks, other stories, you can go home now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Over on the Facebook feed, Stephen kindly took it upon himself to respond to my last post with 101 words that simultaneously satisfy all my plot-criteria: Melinda looked down at her gun. &#8220;I had no idea this had so many bullets in it,&#8221; she yelled. &#8220;Turns out I&#8217;m pretty powerful, even though I am a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,13,24,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1943","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mild-lunacy","category-obsessions","category-stephen-heintz","category-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1943","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1943"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1943\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1946,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1943\/revisions\/1946"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1943"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1943"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1943"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}