{"id":1696,"date":"2007-07-25T08:08:29","date_gmt":"2007-07-25T13:08:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/2007\/07\/25\/story-hacks-sixth-in-a-series\/"},"modified":"2007-07-25T08:15:06","modified_gmt":"2007-07-25T13:15:06","slug":"story-hacks-sixth-in-a-series","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/2007\/07\/25\/story-hacks-sixth-in-a-series\/","title":{"rendered":"Story Hacks: Sixth in a Series"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Pronouns? More like don’t<\/i>-nouns!<\/p>\n

Sure, you can use pronouns if you have to, like if you’re addressing someone in the second person and don’t know what real name to use. But here’s an AlternaTip–just imagine up a real name for your audience! For example, I’m going to call you Laura. Isn’t that better, Laura? (I bet that somewhere somebody’s reading this who actually is<\/i> named Laura and they think it’s so awesome. Laura: it totally is!)<\/p>\n

The real “Pronoun Problem” is that they’re so short. Pronouns reduce not only page count, but often word count as well! Plus, if you (Laura) have more than one person of a given gender in a story, pronouns might refer to any of them, reducing the laser-like accuracy of Laura’s sentences. And such ambiguity can lead to worse things, like speculation, or interpretation! These serious flaws may even prevent consumers from properly receiving your (Laura’s) Vision.<\/p>\n

FACT: The previous paragraph was 56% shorter before I took out all the pronouns. FACT!<\/p>\n

Writing without pronouns (or “liprography”) may not come easily at first, Laura, but it can be done–with enough AccomPracticeMent. Here’s an example to get Laura started!<\/p>\n

“As you know, Kevir, today is your wedding day and it is a very important day for all of Pseudio,” said Kevir’s Mom seriously.<\/p>\n

“Yes, serious Mom,” said Kevir to Kevir’s Mom. “It’s because I’m marrying the Princess Launa, the most famed Princess in the Land, who loves Kevir’s Mom just as if you, Kevir’s Mommy, were Launa’s own Issues<\/span> Mommy!”<\/p>\n

“I do!!!!!” Princess Launa began saying to Kevir’s Mommy. “You, Kevir, and I, Launa, are almost like your Mommy’s son and daughter!”<\/p>\n

“Which is as it should be,” said Kevir’s Serious Mommy. “After all, no woman can truly love you, Kevir, unless she, Launa, is family!”<\/p>\n

“Kevin’s Mom is right,” exclaimed Kevir.<\/p>\n

“All of us love each other, but not<\/i> necessarily in any sexual manner!!!!!” said Kevin’s Serious Fucking Mommy Issues.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Today’s Hack in a Nutshell:<\/i> Laura, seriously, give me a call because I have this screenplay and there might be a part for you.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pronouns? More like don’t-nouns! Sure, you can use pronouns if you have to, like if you’re addressing someone in the second person and don’t know what real name to use. But here’s an AlternaTip–just imagine up a real name for your audience! For example, I’m going to call you Laura. Isn’t that better, Laura? (I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mild-lunacy","category-story-hacks"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1696"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1696\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}