{"id":1517,"date":"2002-08-20T16:16:00","date_gmt":"2002-08-20T21:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/creator\/2002\/08\/20\/1517\/"},"modified":"2021-04-12T12:13:30","modified_gmt":"2021-04-12T20:13:30","slug":"1517","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/2002\/08\/20\/1517\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Someday I will invent a tiny device that consists entirely of a wound radio antenna, a one-tone speaker, a battery, and some adhesive. I will then attach these devices to <i>every single thing I own<\/i>. When I&#8217;m done with that, I will assign each device a unique low-watt radio band all for itself, and put together a remote control that can broadcast on any of those bands. The remote will be voice-operated, and keyed to my voice, so that all I have to say is &#8220;where is my {stupid, fucking, blue} CD case?&#8221; and the device attached to that CD case sets off a furious beeping. Maybe THEN I won&#8217;t LOSE THINGS SO OFTEN.<\/p>\n<p>(Hypothetical problem #1: What happens when I lose the remote? I guess I could create a secondary backup remote to find the first, but that way <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/onion3104\/newremote.html\">madness lies<\/a>.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Someday I will invent a tiny device that consists entirely of a wound radio antenna, a one-tone speaker, a battery, and some adhesive. I will then attach these devices to every single thing I own. When I&#8217;m done with that, I will assign each device a unique low-watt radio band all for itself, and put [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1517","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-angst","category-mild-lunacy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1517","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1517"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1517\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3481,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1517\/revisions\/3481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1517"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1517"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1517"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}