{"id":1081,"date":"2003-12-05T09:42:21","date_gmt":"2003-12-05T14:42:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/creator\/2003\/12\/05\/1081\/"},"modified":"2003-12-05T09:42:21","modified_gmt":"2003-12-05T14:42:21","slug":"1081","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/2003\/12\/05\/1081\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Do you, like any right-minded American, often find yourself daydreaming of the near-erotic qualities of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.penny-arcade.com\/view.php3?date=2003-04-23&#038;res=l\" title=\"&quot;He's dead.  He got SARS and he died.&quot;\">homemade confectionery<\/a>?  Do you <a href=\"http:\/\/www.penny-arcade.com\/view.php3?date=2000-02-04&#038;res=l\" title=\"the zombie is sad outside the window\">loathe the undead<\/a>?  In an <a href=\"http:\/\/zombies.insertdisc.com\/mattcordes\/\" title=\"Remember, humans cannot fight if they are panicked.\">attack simulation<\/a>, would you be one of the fork-wielding souls who turned to spit your fury full in the gibbering face of the forces of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.musicsonglyrics.com\/0\/10CC\/10CC - Baron Samedi lyrics.htm\" title=\"&quot;You can take a knife and slit his throat\\nAnd he won't drop dead\\nWon't drop dead, won't drop dead\\nHe won't drop dead&quot;\">Baron Samedi<\/a>?<\/p>\n<p>Hi, I&#8217;m Brendan Adkins.  You may remember me from such films as <i>Mission:  Implausible<\/i> and <i>Pirate Isle 4:  Rhinobreath&#8217;s Revenge.<\/i>  I&#8217;m here today to let you in on an exclusive opportunity, available for a limited time only:  the chance to join your kindred spirits, the righteous and the hungry, in <a href=\"http:\/\/www.livejournal.com\/community\/zomziepie\/\" title=\"The Book of Nod... and of Tasty Pastries\">Zomziepie<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>The benefits of the community are many.  You&#8217;ll be able to pool your own zombie-combat wisdom with that of other experienced veterans, and you&#8217;ll have the privilege of sneak peeks at new and adventurous pie recipes.  You&#8217;ll gain access to our 24-hour-a-day global database of undead activity, which you can conveniently check from the comfort of your pastry kitchen.  In addition, with your membership dues, you&#8217;ll receive<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>nothing<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><i>And much more.<\/i>  The choice is clear:  <a href=\"http:\/\/www.livejournal.com\/community\/zomziepie\/\" title=\"&quot;Music|the moan of dying zombies&quot;\">Zomziepie<\/a> is the interweb&#8217;s hot spot for these rapidly converging fields.  Get in on the ground floor&#8211;call today!<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.crummy.com\/self\/leonardonics.shtml#Seth David Schoen\" title=\"Leonardonics is the national language of Xorphia.\">I&#8217;m Brendan Adkins.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you, like any right-minded American, often find yourself daydreaming of the near-erotic qualities of homemade confectionery? Do you loathe the undead? In an attack simulation, would you be one of the fork-wielding souls who turned to spit your fury full in the gibbering face of the forces of Baron Samedi? Hi, I&#8217;m Brendan Adkins. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[46,19,22,95],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1081","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ian","category-mild-lunacy","category-plugs","category-zombies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1081","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1081"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1081\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1081"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1081"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/nfd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1081"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}