Category: Uncategorized

January 20, 2004 /

You know, if I were a Green Lantern, I’d just… like, carry a big flashlight with a blue filter on the end. Or spraypaint.

January 14, 2004 /

A couple minutes ago, as part of my continuing education in health matters, I took my own blood sugar with one of those finger-pricky things. And I didn’t cry! Not even a little bit! I’m so proud I could… bleed.

January 5, 2004 /

Okay, seriously though, what do water towers do?

January 4, 2004 /

Hold up. Her middle name is Jean?

December 31, 2003 /

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM TV’S MARIO LOPEZ!

December 26, 2003 /

You know what’s next, don’t you? Tank limos.

Also to be added to the Common Sense Textbook

December 20, 2003 /

If you see an excellent movie, read a powerful book, or listen to an amazing album for the first time, wait at least 24 hours before writing on your interweb journal about it. Trust me. It counts as being drunk.

For inclusion in The Common Sense Textbook

December 15, 2003 /

If something is “interesting chiefly as an x,” it’s not interesting.

Deep Thoughts on Disclaimers

December 10, 2003 /

For your muscle aches and pains, try Icy Hot!*

*Product is neither icy nor hot.

November 21, 2003 /

Oh, right, and I updated Peeps I Read on the About page to include everything on my RSS aggregator, and some more stuff besides. Yes, you’re ALL ON THERE. This nearly tripled its length. Looking at it makes me a little bit scared. Next project is to update the rest of the page, which holds valuable archaeological evidence, dating back to the Last Summer Period.