Category: People

The band was okay–nice people, just the Motown they usually picked to play was not slow enough to slow dance and not fast enough to fast dance. They did get everybody out on the floor, though, for “Brown-Eyed Girl.” My mom’s song.

I saw Ben McBrayer, whom I’ve been meaning to write, and a million people whose names I didn’t know I remembered. I was terrified I’d read my Corinthians too fast, but a lot of people complimented me on that, and on how much I look like my dad. Instead of best man and maid of honor, they had Best Moms–my grandmother Virginia and my new grandmother Betty Jo. Father Pat started to prompt them, but they already knew the vows by heart.

Maria was kind enough to drive down from Louisville to get me last night, and I’ve spent Thanksgiving with her family today; Ian’s at Noah’s and Caitlan is at our family farm. This week was the only chance they’ll have for a break together before Christmas. I don’t know how they managed to pull this whole thing off in six weeks, but it was…

About halfway through the service, one of the light bulbs right above the front row chose November 26th as its day to expire. Nobody noticed: my mother and stepfather were glowing.

I was really tired last night, and I kind of had a micronap in the middle of a conversation with Maria–just short enough to drop me into my subconscious, but not enough that I even noticed I’d fallen asleep. The result was that I radically changed subjects in the middle of a sentence.

“Yeah, I still think so… even if–” I said, and then stopped myself.

“Even if what?” said Maria.

“Even if,” I said slowly, “my children are made of potatoes, and the only thing we’re having for dinner tonight is french fries and potato chips, because we’re out of food and I’m going to have to feed them to each other if we want to survive?”

Last night I learned to play Hand and Foot, a kind of massively multiplayer Canasta, with Graham and Maria’s family. I also found out that I am a sore winner. HA HA HA.

“I didn’t get close enough to this bicycle tire spider to see what it was wearing (I’m not scared of all spiders, just ones who live life on the edge), but I’m assuming it had a flame-patterned skull cap tied around its head over those eight mean eyes, three of which work. It hadn’t woven a middle finger into its web; I checked.”

I twinned Audrey and Stephen. It only seemed right.

Speaking of friendblogs, I only just noticed that my first-year roommate and my friend Lauren were persuaded by the Centre PR department to keep travel journals when they went abroad. I’m pretty sure they’re both in DC (District, not David) now–Lauren living a sitcom, Ben… Ben doing Ben things. They’re both going to be President, possibly at the same time.

Today, Maria is taking all her exams for every class. On the same day. Most of these exams consist of looking at red-and-pink blobs with some white on them, and then answering questions like

Is this slide: (circle one or maybe two, we’re not telling)

  • The maxillonervous mandiflore splay
  • The mandillomaxous floresplay nerve (inverted)
  • The florimandillous splayinerve max
  • Dog puke (HA HA JUST KIDDING) (OR ARE WE)
  • The pukiflorimous nervedog mandisplay

Now, pay attention. The standard reward for students who survive this kind of hell-day is that, to “make up” for not having classes at the same time as exams, they get extra classes and labs every day this week. So the students have a choice of beginning / upping amphetamine regimens, or collapsing and missing twice as much information as usual.

The University of Louisville Medical School

“We have to let them teach. We can’t let them practice on humans.”

The Emperor-Priest of Goulash basically trumps the real site with his own three grouphugs. (Did you know grouphug.us doesn’t even HAVE A Google PageRank? Not that I mentioned this.) They’re beautiful.

CONFIDENTIAL TO CODY POWELL: Thanks for giving me something to regurgipost, Your Worship, otherwise I’d have to confess that I had the most boring day in the world. I ate Easy Mac for lunch, that’s how boring it was. And then I watched TV.