Category: Mild Lunacy

Dear gentle reader: this blog has been operating continuously since I was a teenager. The writing below is at least a decade old. In that time every molecule of my body has been replaced, along with many foolish ideas and flighty beliefs. I want to keep some of those things public out of an honesty and humility I owe the world. I trust you to carry that context with you.

I know it’s old news but I don’t care

June 14, 2004 /

I’m going to buy this album. In fact, I’m not going to stop at just buying it. I’m going to burn extra copies of it, and I’m going to give you one, hell, maybe two or three. I’m going to come over to your house, and we’re going to listen to it. Together. To every. Last. Word.

June 9, 2004 /

It’s not online, unfortunately, but trust me when I say that the front page of USA Today has the sub-head

U.S. Olympic hopefuls face drug accusations

Battle looms to compete

which, I… I don’t know, might just be the best ambiguous headline ever.

Geraldine kicked her ride into gear and rumbled out of the gate, into the Istodrome and its ambient thunder. The others were already circling the floor: Dallas Gator and his two-treadle rig, Jingo Smith on her lean ShuttleMatic, and Sam Scarwood’s weird upside-down contraption. Geraldine shook her head. Unless he got with the times and added a double back-beam, he wasn’t going anywhere.

The announcer’s boom brought her back to the arena. “Your final contestant… the Tartan Trampler… Geraldiiiiine O’Maaallleeey!“

Geraldine grinned, checked her trigger action, and shot off a salutatory flare from her Battle Loom’s smokestack. The crowd went wild.

March 25, 2004 /

For some reason (most likely NewsBruiser’s ping of weblogs.com), NFD got listed at Blogweb.org. Sensing an opportunity for aggrandizement, I helpfully updated the listing, placing myself correctly in the elite category of XBOX/YANNI. Now I’ll just sit back and watch the hits pour in!

March 17, 2004 /

It snowed a bunch, so Maria and I punched a yeti in the face and then we went to the North Pole. Also there was breakfast.

Very, very cold. Very slippery. Good food though.

Road Trip Day 3

February 15, 2004 /

Still alive. Typing slowly after losing three fingers to frostbite. Have taken shelter with kind Susanna and John in Provo, Utah.

Stayed a night at Days Inn, Sidney, Nebraska. Crossed the border at 0900. Wyoming was very bad. Windy. Snow in the pass. Got desperate. Ate Leonard. Still feel cold, so deep in bones. The cold. The wind.

Tomorrow: Vegas.

Road Trip Day 1

February 13, 2004 /

We have reached Lawrence, Kansas, and have been fed a delicious and restorative meal by Alyson and Dave themselves. This has soothed our battered spirits, aggravated by a day spent mostly slap-fighting over the XM radio. Leonard has some advantage, in that he can attempt to swipe other cars on the passenger side to jar my grip. I, meanwhile, have two free hands and thus twice the slap potential. It’s a very close match; tomorrow, I plan to fill my pockets with sand to throw in his eyes. I’ve seen him eyeing the PASNGR EJCT button, and there’s no way I’m getting rocketed out into Kansas before we reach Cheyenne.

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February 12, 2004 /

Leonard just called to tell me he’s leaving Little Rock for Louisville, putting him at my apartment some time late tonight. When he leaves on the next leg of his road trip back to San Francisco, I’ll be riding with him, skipping out of work and school for a week to hit Far Points West and fly home a week from today.

As linked in the link above (metalinked?), Leonard has titled this expedition “As Long As I’m Here,” but for me personally it’s Captain Spacedork’s “Conquer the Rest of America” Adventure (I was going to make it “Actually Goes West of the Mississippi,” but then I’d just be lying). I get to meet several luminaries from the NewsBruiser User Galaxy of Stars, including Sumana the Cogent, Frances the Bold, and even the famous Atticus Matkin. I also get to do some recon work in anticipation of my return trip this summer.

I’m really looking forward to the trip, and I’m glad Leonard extended me the invitation, especially in light of the fact that he’s still going to have to do all the driving. I’m sure we’ll both be updating from the road when we can. And Mom, don’t worry, I’m packing all clean underpants.