I wear a winter hat in the winter–the kind of hat variously referred to as a wool hat, a skiing hat, a skull beanie or a sipple cap. You know what I mean. Mine is dark blue and says GUSTER on the front. It keeps keep me warm very nicely, but because I have ridiculously fine hair, removing it causes a static explosion–the kind of wildly divergent hairdo that made me a pariah for life in middle school and now causes my roommate no end of amusement.

The other day in Prob ‘n’ Stat, I looked around the class at perfect coifs and wondered if anyone else there wore my kind of hat. If so, how did they keep–wait! There were people wearing wool hats! They apparently just never take them off all day.

That’s brilliant!