My iPod Shuffle has shipped.
Month: August 2005
Because I don’t post lyrics at the end anymore
I wish I felt more authentic about liking Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. Basically the whole interweb told me they were good, then Maria told me I’d like them, then Ian played me the CD, and everyone was right. It was like being spoonfed. I wish I’d never heard of them until I heard them. I wish I’d walked in halfway through their set opening for somebody else and they’d started “Me and Mia,” and there’d be sweat spraying off me, pain in my ears, the way I used to dance before I worried about my spine.
I love this song
You are so right, Doonesbury. You are so right.
I found this out yesterday, via a chance meeting at the door
Guess who lives two floors directly above me? Aris Freakin’ Cedeño!
Hollywood Drama
“‘Deuce Bigalow’ is aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience. The best thing about it is that it runs for only 75 minutes.”
The DB:EG-related spat between Rob Schneider and critic Patrick Goldstein, as summed up in Ebert’s review, is attracting more attention than the movie itself. Thank heaven this thing will be protected by ironclad copyright for the next one hundred and twenty years! We wouldn’t want pirates to steal it and make all that creativity worthless!
Read the review. The smackdown at the end will make your eyes water.
Wednesday night, in the process of moving, I applied 360 foot-pounds of torque to my upside-down foot and am now on crutches. Crutches suck. I knew something like this would happen eventually; I’m just glad it happened to me.
I’m pretty sure it’s a sprain, and it already feels a lot better. It’d be nice to get it x-rayed to make sure it’s not broken, but my health insurance doesn’t kick in for another 68 days. Thanks, guys!
Maria has been taking very good care of me, and last night, Lisa and Scott picked us up and brought us to their apartment and fed us poached salmon and showed us funny DVDs and took us home. All this when Lisa was sick herself! It is impossible to have friends as good as Lisa and Scott.
The story of Sunday night
Running for the shower, my hands wrapped in singed pajamas, gripping a toaster oven belching flames, I began to wonder: where did it all go wrong?
As you may have deduced, Maria and I are trying to move to a new apartment about a hundred yards from our old apartment. It was Sunday night. In less than a week it would have been the two-year anniversary of the toaster’s purchase, and it was the first time we tried to cook anything with the toaster in the new place. Maria was trying to heat up some leftover restaurant tortilla chips (restaurant tortilla chips are very good, but only hot) and asked me how I usually heated them. I foolishly told her to toast them on medium.
| Maria: | ACK! Brendan, our chips have burst into flames! |
| Toaster Oven: | REVENGE |
I proceeded to treat the situation with a carefully thought-out policy of not opening the toaster door, and then, after a few seconds, opening the toaster door. The flames streamed upward like a reverse baby waterfall. Maria began to express concern over the possibility of activating our fire alarms.
| Toaster Oven: | THROW ME OUT OF THE WINDOW NOW, HU-MANS |
| Brendan: | No! We’re never allowed to open the windows in here, because one of us is mildly afraid of bugs. |
| Maria throws open the windows. | |
| Brendan: | It’s not me. |
| Toaster Oven: | HA HA PAN-SY |
But off the stage, things weren’t going so well. Toaster Oven was slowly descending into a nightmare of booze and pills.
| Brendan: | I guess I knew things were falling apart when, after one session, I had to wrap my hands in old pajamas, grab Toaster Oven and throw him into the shower. |
| Toaster Oven: | MY HABITS WERE OUT OF CON-TROL |
| Maria: | That night was kind of what brought me to my senses. If this was the condition our lead guitarist was in, how much longer could the band last? |
As it turned out, not long at all. Maria and Brendan intervened with water, followed by a heavy dose of baking soda. The band’s creative spark was extinguished. Also, the fire.
| Toaster Oven: | YOU BAS-TARDS ARE THROWING ME IN THE DUMPSTER QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT |
| Brendan: | This for your own good, Toaster Oven. |
| Maria: | It’s actually not. |
It took nearly two days, but Toaster Oven and the Hu-mans would eventually resurface–without Toaster Oven itself. Instead, Maria and Brendan plan to audition new toasters based on a grueling selection process that involves being both cheap and at Target.
| Brendan: | Aww, this one’s adorable! |
| Toaster Oven: | ARF ARF, AND SIMILAR SOUNDS |
| Maria: | I don’t know. Do you think you’re ready for the responsibility of a toaster oven? |
| Brendan: | I’ll take it for a walk every day! I’ll feed and water it, and I promise I won’t get tired of it, I won’t! Plus it’s on sale. |
| Maria: | Well… As long as you understand that– |
| Brendan: | Hooray! |
| Toaster Oven: | SINISTER LAUGH-TER |
For clarity: I am happy about this
According to my stats and the report they sent me, my latest ad at Blank Label got 188 clickthroughs in 20,000 views, or a little less than 1%.
If any of the original dotcom ad firms had done that well, they’d… still exist.