{"id":81,"date":"2007-01-08T08:18:22","date_gmt":"2007-01-08T13:18:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/2007\/01\/08\/napoleon\/"},"modified":"2009-07-13T15:22:08","modified_gmt":"2009-07-13T23:22:08","slug":"napoleon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/2007\/01\/08\/napoleon\/","title":{"rendered":"Napoleon"},"content":{"rendered":"<div title=\"I woke up and thought of this idea and suddenly, GOD-LIGHT THROUGH THE WINDOW\">\n<p>Emperor Napoleon&#8217;s Soup Apparatus is porcupine-shaped, hidebound back bristling with pikes.  During battle, the hides are soaked with water to prevent fire damage; on bivouac, its tail becomes a bellows, and a mysterious process within pumps hot soup out its nose.<\/p>\n<p>The trouble with wooden animals in war, of course, is that the other side always wants yours.  By dawn, Prussian saboteurs have cut its mooring ropes, but they&#8217;re not fast enough:  Napoleon has just arisen.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Mon Empereur!&#8221; shouts a lieutenant, pointing to the trundling Apparatus.  &#8220;Le porc-&eacute;pic!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Sacr&eacute; bleu!&#8221; says Napoleon (this is back when everybody spoke French).<\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Emperor Napoleon&#8217;s Soup Apparatus is porcupine-shaped, hidebound back bristling with pikes. During battle, the hides are soaked with water to prevent fire damage; on bivouac, its tail becomes a bellows, and a mysterious process within pumps hot soup out its nose. The trouble with wooden animals in war, of course, is that the other side [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1630],"class_list":["post-81","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-napoleon"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2970,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions\/2970"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}