“These things are worthless,” mutters Fred. “Sure, my forelegs were tiny. But if I wanted to move a flap of hide, dig for meat, okay, I didn’t have to shove my whole face in!” He looks really upset, for a nuthatch.<\/p>\n
“Hey, I’m on your side,” says Gary, a swallow. “I had these… pointy thumb things, and–”<\/p>\n
“Exactly! And now we get this crap!” Fred does an angry flapping dance. “Wings! The hell do I need wings for? Eating berries<\/i> or fucking seeds?<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“Evolution,” sighs Gary. “Biggest mistake we ever made.”<\/p>\n
“Right!” snaps Fred. “Let’s fix that!”<\/p>\n
So they do.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“These things are worthless,” mutters Fred. “Sure, my forelegs were tiny. But if I wanted to move a flap of hide, dig for meat, okay, I didn’t have to shove my whole face in!” He looks really upset, for a nuthatch. “Hey, I’m on your side,” says Gary, a swallow. “I had these… pointy thumb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[883,884],"class_list":["post-615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-fred","tag-gary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/615"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=615"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/615\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2148,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/615\/revisions\/2148"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}