“Napoleon couldn’t pee outdoors!” Li gasps, and collapses into giggles. Connor grabs the bottle and swallows, sloppy. They’re fifteen and not exactly drunk.<\/p>\n
Connor shudders and blurts out “Bill Gates does ecstasy on weekends!”<\/p>\n
Teena gets it next, as Li collapses again. “The Army tried to invent a chemical weapon to make enemy soldiers gay!”<\/p>\n
It’s Dave’s turn, but he refuses. “That shit’s dangerous,” he mutters.<\/p>\n
Jamie takes it instead. “Connor’s dad masturbates to Li’s yearbook picture!”<\/p>\n
She tries to cover her mouth, too late. Connor looks ill. Li gags.<\/p>\n
“Told you,” says Dave sourly, snatching the truth and corking it.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Napoleon couldn’t pee outdoors!” Li gasps, and collapses into giggles. Connor grabs the bottle and swallows, sloppy. They’re fifteen and not exactly drunk. Connor shudders and blurts out “Bill Gates does ecstasy on weekends!” Teena gets it next, as Li collapses again. “The Army tried to invent a chemical weapon to make enemy soldiers gay!” […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[449,254,926,927,928],"class_list":["post-584","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-connor","tag-dave","tag-jamie","tag-li","tag-teena"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=584"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2197,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584\/revisions\/2197"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=584"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=584"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=584"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}