{"id":5174,"date":"2011-05-12T07:00:16","date_gmt":"2011-05-12T15:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/?p=5174"},"modified":"2011-05-12T10:43:45","modified_gmt":"2011-05-12T18:43:45","slug":"interspecies-diplomacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/2011\/05\/12\/interspecies-diplomacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Interspecies Diplomacy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><i><a href=\"http:\/\/stephenheintz.tumblr.com\/\">Stephen Heintz<\/a> forgot to title this story<\/i><\/p>\n<p> \u00e2\u20ac\u0153A magic talking monkey!  Incredible!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>It sighed.  \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve said several times now: I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a chimpanzee.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>The human was bouncing with excitement.  \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Who cares?  You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re magic!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I care?  Chimps are smarter, we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have tails\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6  It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a pretty big difference.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d  The chimpanzee rolled its eyes.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Can you grant wishes?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sure, lots of \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem.  To people who don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t call me a monkey.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>The human stomped his foot.  \u00e2\u20ac\u0153So that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s it?  I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get wishes?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s right.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re an asshole!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a chimpanzee.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>The human reached for his machete.  <i>I can probably get a few wishes out of that paw,<\/i> he thought.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Stephen Heintz forgot to title this story \u00e2\u20ac\u0153A magic talking monkey! Incredible!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d It sighed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve said several times now: I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a chimpanzee.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The human was bouncing with excitement. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Who cares? You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re magic!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I care? Chimps are smarter, we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have tails\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a pretty big difference.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The chimpanzee rolled its eyes. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Can you grant [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1576],"class_list":["post-5174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-stephen"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5174"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5174"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5174\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5229,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5174\/revisions\/5229"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5174"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5174"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5174"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}