{"id":5062,"date":"2011-03-25T07:00:27","date_gmt":"2011-03-25T15:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/?p=5062"},"modified":"2011-03-24T16:06:00","modified_gmt":"2011-03-25T00:06:00","slug":"benson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/2011\/03\/25\/benson\/","title":{"rendered":"Benson"},"content":{"rendered":"<div title=\"Stolen from Ben Carson, whose name I have cleverly mangled as a tribute. I want to apologize to everyone for this, forever.\">\n<p>&#8220;Excuse me ma&#8217;am you dropped this&#8221; says Benson, smiling and holding up the broken purse.<\/p>\n<p>She narrows her eyes at him.  &#8220;Comma police! Arrest this man!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The officers spring from around the corner; Benson tastes sidewalk.  &#8220;I didn&#8217;t do anything, wrong!&#8221; he cries.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Exactly,&#8221; snaps the lady cop.  &#8220;You&#8217;re going, to rot in jail.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The rubberneckers look a little leery at that one. Somebody&#8217;s got a phone camera out.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Put that thing away!&#8221; says her partner.  &#8220;It&#8217;s technically legal use.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a hit on Youtube anyway. The lieutenant tries to throw the book at them, but Strunk &#038; White isn&#8217;t very thick.<\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Excuse me ma&#8217;am you dropped this&#8221; says Benson, smiling and holding up the broken purse. She narrows her eyes at him. &#8220;Comma police! Arrest this man!&#8221; The officers spring from around the corner; Benson tastes sidewalk. &#8220;I didn&#8217;t do anything, wrong!&#8221; he cries. &#8220;Exactly,&#8221; snaps the lady cop. &#8220;You&#8217;re going, to rot in jail.&#8221; The [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2645],"class_list":["post-5062","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-benson"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5062"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5062"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5062\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5066,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5062\/revisions\/5066"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}