{"id":4582,"date":"2010-09-24T07:00:40","date_gmt":"2010-09-24T15:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/?p=4582"},"modified":"2010-09-23T23:45:07","modified_gmt":"2010-09-24T07:45:07","slug":"desiree","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/2010\/09\/24\/desiree\/","title":{"rendered":"Desiree"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Etruscan haruspices divined omens from the entrails of animals, so under the principle of symmetry, fucking with bird livers should let you change the future.  Desiree spikes the doves&#8217; water bowl but it&#8217;s hard to tell whether it&#8217;s the right dosage.  Aside from a few off-key chirps, they mostly just get sleepy.<\/p>\n<p>Sheep should be easier, but here&#8217;s the problem:  sheep hate you and are dumb.  Desiree&#8217;s vocal attempts to corner Mrs. Sheepington in the petting zoo with a bottle of Heaven Hill attract a certain notoriety, but, to be fair, that&#8217;s what she wanted out of the future anyway.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Etruscan haruspices divined omens from the entrails of animals, so under the principle of symmetry, fucking with bird livers should let you change the future. Desiree spikes the doves&#8217; water bowl but it&#8217;s hard to tell whether it&#8217;s the right dosage. Aside from a few off-key chirps, they mostly just get sleepy. Sheep should be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2517],"class_list":["post-4582","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-desiree"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4582"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4582"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4582\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4583,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4582\/revisions\/4583"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4582"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4582"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4582"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}