{"id":4567,"date":"2010-09-15T04:00:19","date_gmt":"2010-09-15T12:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/2010\/09\/15\/cork\/"},"modified":"2010-09-15T23:59:38","modified_gmt":"2010-09-16T07:59:38","slug":"cork","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/2010\/09\/15\/cork\/","title":{"rendered":"Cork"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The clock on the oven is losing about a minute a week because there&#8217;s apparently a localized temporal viscosity centered around the stove.  Cork fills it with watches and eats Hot Pockets for a fortnight.  When he opens the door again they&#8217;re ticking in unison, one hundred seconds slow.<\/p>\n<p>This has annoying implications for his souffl&eacute;s.<\/p>\n<p>Later the scientists come: no white-coated Government Men, just some PhD kids from the university. They get excited about the alpha constant a lot.  Cork buys bulk Hot Pockets and the Journal of Cosmology, wondering if they&#8217;ll show the stain that looks like Steve Buscemi.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The clock on the oven is losing about a minute a week because there&#8217;s apparently a localized temporal viscosity centered around the stove. Cork fills it with watches and eats Hot Pockets for a fortnight. When he opens the door again they&#8217;re ticking in unison, one hundred seconds slow. This has annoying implications for his [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2507],"class_list":["post-4567","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-cork"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4567"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4567"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4567\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4568,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4567\/revisions\/4568"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4567"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4567"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4567"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}