{"id":4520,"date":"2010-08-20T21:44:24","date_gmt":"2010-08-21T05:44:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/?p=4520"},"modified":"2012-11-03T07:07:54","modified_gmt":"2012-11-03T15:07:54","slug":"shyler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/2010\/08\/20\/shyler\/","title":{"rendered":"Shyler"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The Rapture makes serving divorce papers difficult.  &#8220;Consider yourself&#8211;&#8221; is all Shyler gets through before they disappear&#8211;pop!&#8211;leaving just their shoes behind.  Does everyone in Heaven, she wonders, float around in sockfeet?<\/p>\n<p>After a few weeks Shyler starts thinking that the number of deadbeats getting assumed into paradise is really high.  Might she be God&#8217;s unwitting messenger?  She prays lots of cuss words about that, on hold for hours with the Vatican.  A raspy prelate tells her she needs witnesses.<\/p>\n<p>So next time she takes Eugene along but the Rapture gets him too, which sucks (he had the car keys).<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Rapture makes serving divorce papers difficult. &#8220;Consider yourself&#8211;&#8221; is all Shyler gets through before they disappear&#8211;pop!&#8211;leaving just their shoes behind. Does everyone in Heaven, she wonders, float around in sockfeet? After a few weeks Shyler starts thinking that the number of deadbeats getting assumed into paradise is really high. Might she be God&#8217;s unwitting [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2596,2485,2711],"class_list":["post-4520","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-eugene","tag-shyler","tag-volume-ii-potential"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4520"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4520"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4520\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5294,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4520\/revisions\/5294"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4520"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4520"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4520"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}