{"id":1042,"date":"2007-08-29T07:00:20","date_gmt":"2007-08-29T12:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/2007\/08\/29\/kringle\/"},"modified":"2009-07-26T19:30:13","modified_gmt":"2009-07-27T03:30:13","slug":"kringle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/2007\/08\/29\/kringle\/","title":{"rendered":"Kringle"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

“Little Billy Jenkins: Nice.”<\/p>\n

“Give him an iPod,” growls Kringle.<\/p>\n

“Noted,” says the elf. “DeWon Phelps: nice.”<\/p>\n

“iPod!”<\/p>\n

The elf frowns. “Murdock Vermilion. Naughty.”<\/p>\n

“Black<\/i> iPod.”<\/p>\n

“Really!” the elf protests. “Doesn’t that reward–”<\/p>\n

“iPod!” snarls Kringle, snatching a white box from the stack and devouring it. “iPongh! IPHOMPH!”<\/p>\n

That night, when it actually starts snowing iPods, one CEO surveys the blizzard with resignation. “It’s time,” he says. “Woztongue, fetch the sled.”<\/p>\n

“But sir!” whimpers Woztongue. “His defenses are impregnable!”<\/p>\n

“Nothing’s hackproof,” says the CEO grimly, activating the iDogs and skimming out onto the shattered plastic. “Santa Jobs is coming to town.”<\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Little Billy Jenkins: Nice.” “Give him an iPod,” growls Kringle. “Noted,” says the elf. “DeWon Phelps: nice.” “iPod!” The elf frowns. “Murdock Vermilion. Naughty.” “Black iPod.” “Really!” the elf protests. “Doesn’t that reward–” “iPod!” snarls Kringle, snatching a white box from the stack and devouring it. “iPongh! IPHOMPH!” That night, when it actually starts snowing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1847,1848,1846,1849,1851,1850],"class_list":["post-1042","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-billy-jenkins","tag-dewon-phelps","tag-kringle","tag-murdock-vermilion","tag-santa-jobs","tag-woztongue"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1042"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1042"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1042\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3196,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1042\/revisions\/3196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1042"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1042"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.xorph.com\/anacrusis\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1042"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}