March experiment—day thirty— One foot in front of the other brings the finish line a step closer.
Today’s sight bite— Scraps of printed text, a dried leaf, an encyclopedia engraving, stickers for a video label, a tea-bag tag, numbers torn from an old calendar—c-l-i-c-k, c-l-i-c-k, c-l-i-c-k, c-l-i-c-k—a flurry of color and images as a collage takes shape.
Tomorrow— Last day; kick it out…
After a restless Saturday-night sleep for all, we hit the ground with all cylinders firing yesterday, and—by some miracle—our team managed to organize, pack, and load all Bruce’s things, as well as clean the kitchen and bathroon, making it back to Danville around 1 am this morning. Today we transferred everything to the storage compartment and delivered the truck to Nicholasville within ten minutes of the 48-hour expiration. We did it! Bruce is safe and sound in Kentucky, and everybody kept a cool head throughout the ordeal. We “celebrated” with a major all-you-can-eat family buffet munch-down.
March experiment—day twenty-two— If I’d taken time earlier to characterize my day, I would’ve declared that my experiment had broken down, but now I’m not sure, and that’s why I go a bit mad at this point in the exercise. Has the imposed mental structure fallen apart, or has it been absorbed into my state of being? Has the regimen lost “front of mind” status only because I’ve encouraged it to become a foundational habit of situational awareness and time management? Great Scot! Can I not distinguish between failure and success? This must be why I tend to go a bit mad at this point in the exercise, or did I say that already?
Today’s sight bite— The fleshy, white thighs of my new client, as he sits on our couch—c-l-i-c-k—explaining auto-security remotes with typical enthusiasm, but his shorts are alarmingly—short!
Tomorrow— Hit the scheduled milestone and keep plugging, in preparation for the round-trip to Indianapolis…
March experiment—day eleven— After we got home last night from our enjoyable date, I discovered a “giganto” wood box by the garage, plus a message from Joan on our machine. Joe definitely had an eye for cool boxes. Unfortunately, my enthusiasm for their potential to be exploited artistically was not matched by the ability to accomplish everything I set out for myself this weekend. I won’t go into the reasons, but most of them can be cured by adequate rest and some mid-course corrections in my goal setting. A possible analogy could be, “My eyes are too big for my stomach,” if you follow me, but I’m not sure it fits. There’s something to be said for avoiding late-night analysis. I’m giving this my best effort, so I’ll take a fresh look at my game plan in the morning. Too easy for thoughts to turn negative when on the brink of exhaustion.
Today’s sight bite— As we travel east on Lancaster road toward Mack’s cabin, a fiery orb burns through the horizon—c-l-i-c-k—with the realization that I would’ve missed a spectacular image without the clock change that I’d just been belly-aching about.
Tomorrow— A top-to-bottom evaluation should provide opportunities for creative synthesis…
March experiment—day five— After a Sunday break, I struggle to dominate the desired level of focus at the heart of the exercise. Rest is important, but I shouldn’t have to learn all of last year’s lessons over again. I’m not happy about my productivity today, but I’d best not stress about it. Perhaps there’s something important to learn about maintaining the essential inner momentum, even when the outer goings-on don’t match the prescribed agenda—for example, this morning’s distractions with a plumber down the hall, and my unforeseen but necessary email replies. Tonight’s Mozart at Newlin Hall is not on my checklist either, but if I’m receptive, it may prove more inspiring than a full box of collage scrap.
Today’s sight bite— Ancient trees in McDowell Park—c-l-i-c-k—engraved by sunrise against a blue sky.
Tomorrow— Making up for a bit of lost time…
Sometimes these deadline experiences are like chuting down a pipeline—there’s no thought to doing anything but surrendering to the power of the flow, all the time hoping you make it to the end of the tunnel without a disaster. Mombo used to talk about when she was a kid, and they would play in a rain-swollen ditch, letting the water suck them into a storm-water culvert that ran under the street. Long ago that image got stuck in my mind when I realized I’d chosen a deadline-driven lifestyle. So, for what it’s worth, that’s what the suction of a deadline is like for me. (Her story also convinced me that my mother really was a tomboy, in case there’s any doubt about it.)
And, so I made it to the end of the latest chute today, presenting my study for a painting I’m developing to feature on this year’s poster for the Great American Brass Band Festival. The new executive director is delighted with my approach. The idea has a focus on the music makers. I want to illustrate the intensity of the performances with a montage composition. I don’t know why I always have to complicate things, rather than come up with a simple idea, other than the fact that “less is more” is easier said than done. I’m excited about the idea of including Vince prominently in the artwork. He’s always been the inspiration for much of my toil on behalf of the Festival.
Now, all I have to do is complete the final version by the end of the month without getting stuck in that darn storm pipe.
Much is going on—my concept for the new Band Festival poster is at critical mass, I’m convening a cyclists’ meeting tonight to discuss our upcoming presentation before the City Commission, and the Medicine Woman is putting her moccasin firmly in the Graybeard Prospector’s hind end. That being said, I’m thinking about Seranus Victor Seitz, who turns 90 tomorrow.
My Uncle Si was born in the midst of the Great War, but the next time the entire world was back at war, he was more than old enough to sign up. Like Dadbo, he went into the USAAF and became a fly-boy. He named his fighter plane after his kid sister. Most of us learned about this only recently. Even Mombo had forgotten about it, and she was overcome with emotion when the fact resurfaced with an old photo. I think it has something to do with Uncle Si scrupulously avoiding any romantic entanglements before he shipped off. Apparently he didn’t expect to survive the combat that faced him. Neither did a lot of others, including the brass. These boys could “do no wrong,” because, hell, they probably wouldn’t make it back tomorrow anyway, so why give ’em a hard time? For example, when Uncle Si buzzed a control tower because some generals were up there and Uncle Luke was watching. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was one of the more tame episodes.
Uncle Si got to the skies of Europe as the Luftwaffe was fading into history. Air-to-air wasn’t the primary mission at that point in the war, so he provided ground support as a tank buster and dive bomber. But don’t be mistaken—the anti-aircraft defenses of a desperate Wehrmacht must have been pure wickedness. On top of that, Uncle Si said that every day he got into the cockpit, he might be sitting behind a new aircraft engine more powerful than the previous one he’d gotten used to. All he would know before takeoff was the numerical boost in horsepower. He told us once about the fine art of blasting a locomotive. The pilot needs to swoop elliptically at a low angle to avoid being caught above the massive steam explosion. You get the feeling he learned that by watching somebody else get it wrong, or perhaps he narrowly missed boiling himself like a lobster the first time he bombed a train. He tells stories like that without braggadocio, but you can always see the intensity in his eyes. Like most WWII vets, he doesn’t think of himself as a hero. In their minds, that word more properly describes all those pals that never returned. I guess you can’t differ with that kind of logic.
Uncle Si is known for inspiring a famous word in the Dixonary: Sicu. Basically it can be defined as a “lame excuse.” The original sicu was the time he said, “We’ll come down one of these weekends I take off.” It was no secret that Uncle Si might go months without taking a weekend off. It bummed us out to hear that, and so we were forced to bestow the dubious honor. Years later, when I was living in Dayton and my brother James was putting in long hours at AdMart, we laughed at my notion, “You’ll take off one of these weekends I come down.”
Uncle Si is one of those uncles that you love too much to ever tell him, and I know that doesn’t make any sense, but you just can’t tell a tough guy things like that because he’s made you tough, too, just because you’ve loved him. Like Mombo used to say, “Luke probably started the fight, and if Bob couldn’t talk them out of it, Si had to finish it.”
Eventually he helped finish the biggest one—over sixty years ago, up in the sky, above the devastated fatherland of his ancestors—but he came back home and made it to his tenth decade, with a sweetheart he didn’t think he’d ever get the chance to find.
God bless him!
As usual, I’m scratching along in my own analytical way, looking for “keys.” For me, that often involves attempts at integrating various “reality maps” I’ve encountered that make sense as individual systems. Numerology would be one example, but seems limited when I approach it in isolation. Feng Shui has appeal, but I haven’t totally bought into the premise. For a long time, Bruce has made references to Chinese medicine, but my investigation into Chinese thought has been confined to a study of the Book of Changes or I Ching.
Today I read a short magazine article by Mark Blessington. We must think along the same lines, because he’s made an impressive start at applying the principles of Chinese medicine to the relationships between money and people. There’s often a fine distinction between genuine insight and wacky diversion, I must admit, but I would say that Blessington’s ideas about achieving a balance in money elements deserves the benefit of the doubt.
And so we press on with our attempts to synthesize the unbridgeable gaps of knowledge and to learn the unknowable truths, like why you can’t find a missing object until you tell somebody else that you lost it. We’ll continue to look for the profound answers that elude us all, to understand why time always speeds up every Thursday night during NBC’s telecast of “The Office,” and to solve the many riddles of a mysterious universe.
Foot sounds serious about starting his little house next year, talking to Mr. Hill when he stopped to discuss sand-truck access to the adjacent property (apparently the neighbors want to create a beach like the natural one here at this resort). The contractor said he was no relation to the Hill who originally owned the entire island. He and Foot looked at the spot where the A-frame will be sited. Hill said that code compliance and getting a permit will be more difficult than the excavation. He seemed like a nice man with helpful advice. His own father also bought lake frontage not long after Bill’s parents first came to Hill Island in the 1950s. My friend hopes to sell his business in Ohio and move up here to manage the resort within five years. His dream excites my own desire to have a retreat in the woods, but the inner determination to reverse my personal downturn and accomplish that goal must come from inside me. At the same time, I have concerns for my friend. Earlier this year, Bill quit smoking for 12 weeks—long enough to live as a nonsmoker—but he started up again after a quarrel with Amy (their first?). Much buried tension in the man, like there was in my dad, and perhaps more than a little rage; it bubbled to the surface last night when I touched on a political subject. Like most proud Americans, the direction our country is moving disturbs him and he takes it personally, and then hides it inside. Stress and cigarettes—an unhappy combination. There’s little I can do about it, of course, and the same is true for my family members who smoke… too many of them… but how can I be judgmental when I have unmanaged problems of my own? Ok, where do I start? Review priorities and take even greater control over my use of time. Should I curtail many of my extraneous activities? Should I suspend this online journal? Is it time to set a few simple, practical goals and then banish all conflicting objectives until they’re achieved? Mike spoke to me about the misconceptions of setting priorities and defining daily tasks. He has decades of experience and impressive, tangible results to show for it, so put his advice to the test, and for God’s sake forget about sharing it in a public log. If I don’t take this last opportunity to gain command over my financial status, I’ll face radical changes over which I’ll have minimal capacity to direct. I must prove I can make a few specific things happen in my life that are essential, and that means everything else has to be put on hold. Period.
I went to the Leadership Boyle County reunion Thursday evening and I was the only member of the 1990-91 class that showed up; that seemed way too strange. Almost anybody that sees me anymore starts talking about bicycling. This has to be good, but I also remind myself that I don’t make a living that way. I’ve got to balance this out somehow.
So how did I spend my day? I finished writing up bicycle project suggestions for the new Leadership class (as requested), and then I joined a group that rode the 47-mile round trip to Forkland for the “Great Outhouse Blowout.” I won’t even try to describe that event, but it was actually much nicer than I was led to believe, and the live music was outstanding. We were trying to be clever and avoid the rain, but we were just lucky instead. Although we crossed patches of wet pavement, it never rained on us.
Hugh (my friend the mayoral candidate) was at the festival and he pulled me aside to say he wants to talk about the meeting I had with the Danville City Manager on Wednesday about B.I.K.E. Hugh showed up and sat in on the meeting, but I’m not sure what he has on his mind, so I’d better chat with him soon. The subject of the meeting at city hall was the downtown Streetscape Project. We were seeking the formal inclusion of B.I.K.E. in the planning process, but it seems we’re too late to hold an official “stakeholders” meeting with the consultant. We did learn that there will be two public meetings in October, so we’ll plan to show up in force to advocate for a design approach that is bicycle friendly. Much of our group’s effort is now taking place outside of meeting time, and we’ve decided to converge monthly instead of every two weeks, as we’ve been doing all summer. B.I.K.E. now has three committees coalescing to take on the top priorities that came out of our deliberations last month. Maybe this means I can delegate more and start to diminish the time I spend with this activity, but I doubt it. I just need to stay organized and be efficient when I’m thinking about it.
Hubbard’s preferences notwithstanding, I want electricity! Nasty storms overnight caused an early morning power outage that lasted until almost 11 am. Lack of coffee stunted the day’s opening for me, but it didn’t take very long to get everything back in gear by afternoon. It got me thinking that I probably have too many objectives for one short vacation, especially when I have two other individuals with which to share my time. In situations like this, I realize I’ve made a mental to-do list as if I was on a solitary retreat. Oh well, it takes me a while to learn things, and now that I’ve got my head straight, I’ll do my best to balance attentiveness to everyone, including myself.
It also got me thinking that I probably need to cut back on the coffee.
My mom and sister stopped by today to say hi and chat. All of us agreed that we need to take a vacation together, so we can just talk. I found out that Mombo has writings on her desktop that she hasn’t gotten around to posting. We need those MEMORIES!
I spent a good portion of today and yesterday cleaning out and organizing our stash of project files and “job jackets,” and I think I’ve hit on a key reason I’m so averse to throwing out personal papers and old records of past work. It must have something to do with a resistance to stirring up dormant feelings. To toss is to toss, but to conscientiously purge files while retaining only that which is valuable means reliving the emotional experiences, to some degree, both pleasant and unpleasant. For me, accepting this sheds light on another aspect of throwing things away—overcoming the apprehension of making a mistake or misjudgment, and inviting future emotions of loss or regret.
Some of this is downright crazy—rekindled emotions tied up with worries about emotions yet to come—and I can see why others just turn off the scrutiny and pitch away. There has to be a balance between the two forms of mild madness. One must not dread feelings from the past nor carry a fear of feelings yet to come, for both impinge on the equilibrium of the present. The past doesn’t exist, and the future is forever unreal. All we ever possess is the present. The continuous now is our only laboratory for the mastering of time and space.
Time… I’m spending it with my rubbish!
Space… I need more of it! Now!
There’s a particular stairwell connecting the upper and lower levels of the fitness center at Centre College that has a smell which takes me back to the old McKinley School, where I attended fourth, fifth, and sixth grades. You know what I mean; it’s one of those odor-triggered responses that has deep emotional characteristics. For me, it evokes the final years of pre-adolescence in my first hometown of West Milton, before our family moved to Tipp City, and the resulting psychological disorientation that came with being “the new kid,” just as puberty struck with a vengeance. I was twelve. It wasn’t an easy transition. Life deals many different kinds, of course. On a scale of ten it doesn’t come close to what others in my Clan have endured. I just happened to lose my best friends at the diciest time in a young man’s coming of age. In some unexplainable way I also lost my original identity. Honestly, I still have no idea how it actually affected my personality and my relationship to others. I just know it did, and that’s all that probably needs to be said about it. Fortunately, the summer of our disruption was fashioned into
an adventure of memorable proportions, with our transitional accommodations in the upstairs apartment of a downtown building perched ridiculously close to the major rail line. It must have been inexpensive, and only a boy could have loved it, although I understood how absurdly small it was for a nine-member family. We survived a hot summer without air conditioning by spending most of our time at the pool. It left me with a lifelong attachment to swimming, the most sensual of fitness activities, and further solidified a bond of five brothers, thrown more tightly together with our sudden isolation. I remember the day Mombo gave me hell because I walked three-year-old Jay to our developing home-site two miles out of town, indicating the age gap of the Brothers Dixon in those days. Side-by-side, we navigated a mutually unfamiliar universe of lifeguards, construction workers, shopkeepers, and strange neighbors. Thank God for the summer of ’64. As cohorts in adaptation, we had to make it uniquely our own world, and perhaps, to some degree, it also prepared me for the arrival of September, the end of childhood, and a school with new and different smells…
• Made an expedition to Lincoln County yesterday and the result was an outstanding conversation with the head of the Industrial Authority and the new Director of Tourism. We’re in the door, and the timing seems perfect.
I was mildly astonished by the way downtown Stanford is coming to life this summer. I remembered my long-time pal Mark telling me about its quaint drug store and that it served the best chocolate malt in the region. I was so uplifted after the meeting that I decided to stop in and visit the soda fountain, and to see if he was right.
Unbelievably “oldendaydelicious”!
When I strolled Main Street, thinking about the opportunities, I was transported back to when I was a 22-year-old vagabond in Europe, and the perceptions I’d get whenever I entered a new city. Back then I felt I could conquer any unfamiliar place in a matter of hours—Amsterdam, Zurich, Florence, Rome, Munich, Paris…
I’m 32 years older now, and my whiskers are a different color, but I reckon I can still conquer Stanford, Kentucky.
I wasn’t able to spend last night working on my two “Photorama” collages for the Clan graduates, since we spent the evening with the Simpsons watching “Out of Africa.” It forced me to complete the gifts today, but everything worked out fine. After an eight-mile morning run, I was able to focus on my intuitive sprint to the family deadline—an ideal circumstance for creating this particular type of artwork—as well as getting to savor one of the only flawless motion pictures made in the past 25 years.
25 years… that’s Brendan’s lifetime, and includes the lifetimes of all the Clan youngsters present at our celebration for Nicholas and Caitlan. And speaking of Brendan, I got to see him in action with his new camera, an impressive piece of equipment. As I shot with my vintage Nikkormat, I felt like a geezer driving around in a dusty old coupe. Ah well, at least I didn’t say, “No, sirree-Bob, they don’t make ’em like this anymore.”
It was fun to eat good Chinese food with Nic and Josh and Marty, too. Nic was having a great day, one that will last long in the memory bank. I wish my Godson well as he prepares to begin his studies in veterinary medicine. I really didn’t get to chat with Oxford-bound Caitlan, but, actually, I really didn’t get to talk to many of the others either, including my mom, but that didn’t stop me from simply absorbing the magnitude of the good family vibes, before it was all over much too quickly.
What better way to assuage the knowledge of being another year older?
There are flaws in all events, and the time will come soon enough for our annual “post-mortem” evaluation, but overall, The Salvation Army Appreciation Dinner was a great success. I can’t describe the sense of relief and satisfaction that today brings, other than to state that those are the feelings dominating my mood. I sense perfect timing for the new cycle that arrives tomorrow—a cycle of change and new projects.
It was good to see my sister Jeanne at the dinner, representing the 10th Planet, one of the new “Business Partners in HOPE.” Cliff was torn between being there and attending Hayley’s Boyle-Danville softball matchup, and he decided to wear the Dad cap. That’s just fine—there will be more Salvation Army goings-on for the rest of our lives, but children have fleeting intervals that are quickly gone forever.
I missed my chance to personally invite Seth at Easter, but there he was with his mentor, Mr. Durham! A superb opportunity for him to learn more about the Army and solidify his sense of achievement in Liberty last Christmas season. I also heard the good news that he’ll be attending the Governor’s Scholars Program this summer.
David and Lee were there, plus all the great friends of the Army’s mission in our five-county area. Divisional Commander Major Howell was a fantastic guest speaker and his address was a tough act for me to follow, since, as Vice Chair of the Advisory Board, I was to give the closing remarks and prayer. The Spirit was right there to boost my delivery, and I did as well as I think I’ve ever done in front of a large group. I’d gone with my intuition when I developed my speech, but wasn’t entirely confident of its appropriateness until Major Howell spoke, and then I knew that everything dovetailed with precision. Divine design? Amazing…
March experiment—day thirty— As the announcer used to say on the program called “Iron Chef,” the battle is oh-vah!
Because the competition was with myself, I won—that means I also lost, but only the counterproductive habit patterns that were due to permanently go. The transformation feels vast, but I’m still too close to all I’ve been through to judge the full effects. Everything has culminated with the creation of my prototype for a personalized commemorative illustration. Tonight it will be unveiled before members of The Wood Duck Society, and then tomorrow it will be presented for target-market evaluation at a fundraising dinner—the Kentuckiana Chapter of Safari Club International in Louisville. By Sunday I’ll be in a better position to begin reflecting on these past few weeks.
March experiment—day twenty-four— I rescheduled my ten-miler when I arose to discover a steady shower of wet sleet at first light. Well, at least I didn’t have more than my hopes invested in the proposed venture, unlike other ambitious people. I may be bonkers, but I’m not a madman. Not yet, anyway. However, I do recall running in worse weather during the winter of oh-two. A local man stopped his car and yelled, “You’ve got to be crazy to run in this!” I shouted back, “You’ve got to be crazy to drive in this!”
Today is about dealing efficiently with a multiple of tasks recently sidelined by a critical deadline, which naturally tends to subordinate other priorities. It’s about breaking a habit—temporarily letting go of my discipline or indulging an escape after a major presentation, instead of shifting the same level of focus to a new area of active creativity. Maintaining a momentum of accomplishment is a more desirable reward, if a reward is necessary. I’m tired of having to regain my inertia over and over again. I’d rather keep a more even pace of achievement. I’ve learned this from exercise, but the idea has taken on a new power for me, the more I pay attention to the advice of artists who know how to routinely get things done.
Last night before bed I spent time with Kazu’s description of how he creates his “Copper” strip. This morning I’m “mining” an interview with Arundhati Roy. Some of her thoughts fascinate me because I’m trying to find a way through the challenge of shifting my fine art from a gift-oriented activity to a more self-centric ambition, in order to professionalize it within a desired array of income modules. For reasons unclear, I’ve been getting more out of listening closely to writers and filmmakers (and a dancer!) than I get out of listening to designers or visual artists.
“You know, I always believed that even among the best writers, there are selfish writers and there are generous ones. Selfish writers leave you with the memory of their book. Generous writers leave you with the memory of the world they evoked. To evoke a world, to communicate it to someone, is like writing a letter to someone that you love. It’s a very thin line. For me, books are gifts. When I read a book, I accept it as a gift from an author. When I wrote this book, I presented it as a gift. The reader will do with it what they want.”
Roy’s keen insight applies to all the fine arts—in my case, the applied arts. If I’m to be honest with myself, it’s my identity as an illustrator that I seek to define, rather than as a true fine artist, at least in the near term. Earning commissions for the type of imagery I intend to create involves meaningful service to a customer, and so I must juggle my own artistic agenda while capturing a high level of personal significance for my client—balancing the selfish with the generous—providing pleasure in the sense of legacy, a useful satisfaction. Emerson often draws his distinction between the fine and the “useful” arts, but makes clear that both can lead to wealth.
Why is it that I’ve been more comfortable with dedicated effort toward seizing health and less so with wealth? Is it just cultural conditioning or is it part of my DNA? I wanted health, so I built it into my body. It took time, but I did it. I have goals that require a solid microeconomic platform. Forget wealth. I would hope that I could just free myself from the low-grade financial stress that erodes well-being. But Emerson doesn’t dance euphemistically around the issue. He uses the word.
“Wealth is in application of mind to nature; and the art of getting rich consists not in industry, much less in saving, but in a better order, in timeliness, in being at the right spot.”
Indeed. Let’s get back to the drill.
Today’s sight bite— Afternoon sunlight cuts across a wall the color of thick mucous, as my paint-saturated roller subtracts the distasteful hue—c-l-i-c-k—with white, glorious white, overtaking the wall, swath by swath.
Tomorrow— Running toward the dawn, to share the silence with friends…
March experiment—day twenty-two— When I got back from the gym, I finally finished resolving Tuesday’s surprise request, and shoved it over the wire with a sense of relief. Then I was able to settle back into designing the equine symbology, benefiting from Dana’s help and a bit of synchronicity when the realization struck that it’s never too late to revisit research mode if things get into a rut. Twyla writes about this in her book. By afternoon I had a new momentum of progress. She knows everything!
Today’s sight bite— Freezing a noisy blur with eye and hand—c-l-i-c-k—as gloved fists strike the black speed bag.
Tomorrow— A client’s reaction, after a kick to the finish line…
March experiment—day twenty— Interruptions and the unexpected can be accommodated by the daily structure. The strength of the matrix is flexibility and routine in proportion. Move relentlessly forward with diligence and focus, balanced by the softness of each breath.
Today’s sight bite— Cold worm on the wet sidewalk—c-l-i-c-k—a gummy worm, to be precise.
Tomorrow— Everything that has come before can illuminate a new cycle. Look to the ritual…
March experiment—day sixteen— Woke up thinking I needed to dissolve last night’s angst about how I chaired the steering group meeting. Rather than stew about it, I trusted the “in-nerd” and resolved it by 7 am with a note to the guys who were there. Simple—thank them and pledge to do better. You wouldn’t think that I’d be figuring these things out at age 53, but there it is.
On our way to and from the Rotary lunch, David and I nailed down our strategy for promoting my pen and wash commissions. The timetable will be a bit of a crunch, but it dovetails with the home stretch of my prevailing time-management experiment.
Had some major breakthroughs on the equine graphics this week, so I locked myself into a presentation next Friday. The practice of self-imposed deadlines is a delicate art. Too far out is another form of procrastination, but too soon can invite disaster. Exactly right is a proven stimulant to creative productivity and concept integration. I don’t always get it right, but I’m a believer. If you don’t have an external due date, you have to create your own. Sadly, I have a wealth of experience trying to avoid what should be a self-evident truth.
After my conversation with Dr. Williams, a wave of fatigue came crashing in from behind me and I had to nap before Dana’s tasty fish-with-wild-rice supper.
Today’s sight bite— A Martini rifle, a walking horse, a hunter and his warthog, ten smiling handgun competitors—c-l-i-c-k, c-l-i-c-k, c-l-i-c-k—a flurry of digital images that etch the memory.
Tomorrow— Nine-mile run at daybreak, yard work, house cleaning, fine art, and English country dancing…
March experiment—day twelve— This dismal weather is starting to get to me. I’d rather be forced to wear a heavy coat and gloves, if it would get me a blue sky. Continued to use my time matrix to chip away at projects, not all of them money-makers. Took the equine-packaging job from sketches to electronics this afternoon and that’s an important step. After five o’clock, I tried to finish cleaning up the front yard, but it started to rain. Didn’t that happen yesterday? Tonight I sat down again with “FLIGHT, Volume Two.” This collection doesn’t seem as awesome to me as Volume One, but I’m enjoying it immensely. That’s just the way it is with sequels, I guess. I can’t help but observe how much some of these artists have been affected by the drawings of Bill Watterson. Reminds me of when I look at political cartoons and realize that an entire generation of editorial artists have been influenced by Mike Peters and Jeff MacNelly.
Today’s sight bite— Sky like a canopy of yellow-grey bruises—c-l-i-c-k—with a tree swaying the way a nervous man shifts his weight from one leg to another.
Tomorrow— Wake up to the stationery bike and another gym workout (try to catch
Sebastian Junger on “Washington Journal”), and then get in some billable time before the Salvation Army executive committee meets…
March experiment—day nine— An unremarkable yet productive Friday, with the new schedule beginning to feel like routine.
Today’s sight bite— The rolling pastures of Garrard County along Highway 52—c-l-i-c-k—ready to burst into verdant hues with a few more days of full sun.
Tomorrow— Solid day of activity, a delayed celebration, and my sister’s secret garden…
March experiment—day eight— Don’t have much graphic product to show for myself today, but my time sensitivity, efficiency, and focus were on track. Much of the day involved helping sort out the high-res PDF problems associated with software upgrades. I made decent progress on modifying the project schedule for IFP, plus I had enough energy to swim a 450-yard sprint in 8:05 (a personal record), run the vacuum cleaner, and make a get-well card for my Uncle Joe, too. Had my first look at Paul’s unfinished painting for the Brass Band Festival Poster. The letter I sent yesterday appeared on the Advocate’s opinion page, which helps my effort to organize the local bike-ped task force. Before the library closed I treated myself with “FLIGHT, Volume Two.”
Today’s sight bite— A colorful, plate-size Greek salad that Dana made me for lunch—c-l-i-c-k—a joy for the eye and a treat for the tummy.
Tomorrow— 28 years since my sweetheart and I went out on our first date…
March experiment—day seven— Wrote a letter to the editor on bike-ped issues before 7 am, and then spent 30 minutes on the spinning bike before lifting weights. I felt like I was in the groove when I hit the studio on schedule after breakfast. Finished my part of the Forever Spring Farm revisions by afternoon, but my energy level began to slide downhill from there. Bizarre correspondence from a Kentucky Farm Bureau adjuster didn’t help matters. Developing the kind of 17-hour stamina I’m shooting for is going to take some time, but I didn’t expect that I could build it in a week.
Today’s sight bite— The bleak array of mobile homes behind the 10th Planet—c-l-i-c-k—thoroughly washed of color under the grim overcast sky.
Tomorrow— Paperwork for the “graybeard prospector” until a midday attempt at a 450-yard PR…
March experiment—day five— The momentum of the time study was interrupted by yesterday’s lack of focus. It wasn’t difficult to see why the pace of the schedule had broken down by this morning. I’ve learned something simple but important about the effect of a weekend, and that relaxation must be purposeful, but without a loss of inertia. In other words, proper rest must be seen as an integral part of the drill itself, like the 15-minute mile I deliberately inserted into a 12- or 14-mile training run. Rest is for replenishing energy, and to rebuild one’s reserves—not, as in this case, to dissipate creative force or sacrifice mental clarity.
Unfortunately, yesterday ended with as much laziness as it began. I tend to watch the Oscars for the “moments,” rare as they are, but was surprised to discover how much I enjoyed Stewart’s quips. He just might be as good as I’ve been told, but we don’t get Comedy Central. I got a kick out of his Heston joke. That montage of suggestive western clips is a treasure (none of us will probably ever get to see it again), and that hunk shot from “The Big Country” was quite possibly a major sway for Wyler on the Judah Ben-Hur casting decision. And, of course, Chuck also made it into the “epics” montage with his classic clenched-teeth charioteer shot, a role he admits he probably wouldn’t have gotten if he hadn’t accepted the supporting part in the ‘58 picture with Peck. I demand as many years as possible before the time of sadness when Chuck makes the “In Memoriam” reel. Douglas and Newman are about the only other true “legends” left. (You thought I was going to say Mickey Rooney, didn’t you?) Well, maybe Sophia Loren and Lauren Bacall, too…and did you watch how Bacall salvaged that TelePrompTer mishap with quintessential poise? Now that’s a classy pro!
Today’s sight bite— The almost-but-not-quite-amusing, embarrassingly unskilled knot—c-l-i-c-k—that I tied to secure in the trunk the oversize box containing our faulty monitor.
Tomorrow— A full resumption of the experiment, and a meeting with the CREEC volunteers…
March experiment—day two— Wow, this is not easy. I didn’t expect to feel sleep deprived by the second day. Had a good conversation with Joey Sullivan this afternoon, but his dad is having a hard time of it. I didn’t want to think too much about my Uncle Joe, so I forced myself to complete the Ayoroa proposal. Things are starting to move forward already, and that’s what we need, because I’m giving up failure for Lent. I might be giving up sanity as well, but I guess it’s too early to tell.
Today’s sight bite— Cold gray stadium steps at dawn, with legs and arms pumping all the way to the top, where I could gaze briefly again at the butternut dirt of the infield—c-l-i-c-k—before turning to descend for another explosive climb.
Tomorrow— “Operation Watershed” with Clan, and a meeting with the competitive riflemen in Lebanon…
March experiment—day one— So far, the difficult thing is not adhering to the rigorous timetable, but accommodating the inevitable interruptions by phone, email, and doorbell.
Today’s sight bite— Swimming underwater to the middle of the the empty pool, pausing to see the entire deep end bathed bright blue in midday skylight beams—c-l-i-c-k—and not wanting to surface.
Tomorrow— Refinements to the schedule, and a finished proposal…
It’s not difficult at all to accept that the airplane, the ice cream cone, and the Rotary club have been around for a century, but, for whatever reason, it’s hard for me to imagine that the animated cartoon will be 100 years old in April. Somehow that hits too close to home.
After watching Lamb’s interview, with Glenn Reynolds, I want to read his new book, “An Army of Davids.” It also makes me want to understand more about the blogosphere I’ve blasted myself into. I suppose I now qualify as a blogger, after a solid year of doing this, and yet I still know almost as little about the emerging trend as I did when I started. One thing I suspected from the beginning is certainly true—this practice is all about time management. There’s got to be something important to learn from a cool guy who manages to be a law professor, plus a husband and father, and stay highly informed on just about everything, including nanotechnology, publish articles, write books, present the most consulted blog in America, while still finding the time to do a podcast with Tim Minear and brew his own beer.
In Memoirs of a Geisha, the main character reflects on the advice of her mother, who taught that water, with time, can cut through the hardest rock, and, when blocked, will always find another way.
Why is it that everywhere I shift my attention, I’m reminded of the power of persistent, repetitive action? Is the universe using the method itself to make sure the concept gradually penetrates my stubborn personality?
When I look over the past dozen years or so, the most noticeable change I can recognize in myself is the transformation to high physical activity from a sedentary mode. It wasn’t initially inspired by a dream. Rather, it grew out of an apprehensive realization that I undoubtedly carried the same predisposition to heart disease that had claimed my father’s life. Out of weakness came strength—increment by increment, workout by workout, mile by mile.
So, there I have it. Out of my weakness to believe that I could achieve without grinding, habitual effort my dream—a dynamic life on the land, making art from a studio in the Knobs—can come a new practice and ritual which is the only course that will ever take me there. Yes, there will be obstacles and inner resistance. At times, the water will need to find an alternative path, but there is no alternative to the necessity of the “drill.” No other way than through the power of focused routine, and a life of productive habit.
Once again, I must read the words of Emerson and let them sink in—
In chemistry, the galvanic stream, slow, but continuous, is equal in power to the electric spark, and is, in our arts, a better agent. So in human action, against the spasm of energy, we offset the continuity of drill. We spread the same amount of force over much time, instead of condensing it into a moment.
Once more.
And again…
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