not falling down

Hey, remember QTrax? There were plenty of other sources reporting on its old-school dotcom launch party, as well as the subsequent Apollo 1-level launch disaster, which featured even their putative deal with EMI vanishing like a booth babe at midnight; I honestly felt too bad (well, apathetic) for them to join in the kicking when they were so clearly down. Today Sumana pointed out that the service is now in the annals of vaporware, just below Duke Nukem Forever. According to that article, the few songs they did try to offer were skimmed off Limewire and then DRMed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone try to start a service so completely benefit-free.

It’s 2008 now, guys. Last year half of the future’s audience didn’t buy a single CD; does anyone really think that audio media featuring any kind of encumbrance are still going to turn a profit? It’s time we started treating music delivery as a resource, not a service, and that means you have to get a lot better at it before you can make a living on the gouge.

GREATEST

EVER

My phone has no ringtones and I’ve never owned a CD I didn’t rip, but the record industry has finally found a way to get even me to pay for songs I already own: Rock Band. At least the downloadable tracks have the value-add of being interactive at multiple levels. What they do not have, sadly, is a way to cater exclusively to my taste. Until now!

I put these together working on the three-songs-per-band model they’ve established on Live so far, and basically within the creators’ bent toward three- or four-piece groups and a fairly narrow definition of “rock.” Also with the fact that I don’t really know anything about music before 1998.

Semisonic:

• “Brand New Baby”
• “Closing Time” (well, I mean, come on)
• “Get a Grip”

Queen, although I know these are all impossible for one reason or another:

• “Bohemian Rhapsody”
• “Under Pressure”
• “Killer Queen”

Jimmy Eat World:

• “Lucky Denver Mint”
• “Sweetness”
• “Nightdrive”

Barenaked Ladies (man, this is hard):

• “Brian Wilson (live)”
• “Too Little Too Late”
• “Maybe You’re Right”

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists:

• “Me and Mia”
• “Counting Down the Hours”
• “La Costa Brava”

I know there are already a million Foo Fighters songs, but still:

• “Everlong”
• “Breakout”
• “All My Life”

The New Pornographers:

• “Mass Romantic”
• “Letter from an Occupant”
• “Sing Me Spanish Techno”

And, finally, U2 (yeah, I know they’re working on it):

• “Desire”
• “Mysterious Ways”
• “If God Will Send His Angels”

I invite you to eviscerate me in commentary, or post your own wishlists. Maria, for example: Prince? Lisa: TMBG? Someone: Beck or the Decemberists?

Update 1432 hrs: Andy suggests replacing “Sing Me Spanish Techno” with “The Bleeding Hearts Show,” and offers a Tragically Hip three-pack:

• “New Orleans Is Sinking”
• “38 Years Old”
• “Fireworks”

And Ken, inevitably, has a list with a lot more depth than mine:

Jamiroquai:

• “Canned Heat”
• “Alright”
• “Black Capricorn Day”

Smashing Pumpkins:

• “Cherub Rock”
• “Bullet With Butterfly Wings”
• “Today”

Guns N Roses:

• “Welcome to the Jungle”
• “Live and Let Die”
• “Nighttrain”

Pearl Jam:

• “Life Wasted”
• “Alive”
• “Rearviewmirror”

Talking Heads:

• “Psycho Killer”
• “Uh Oh, Love Comes to Town”
• “Take Me to the River”

Beck (most doesn’t translate well to guitar, bass and drums):

• “Loser”
• “E-Pro”
• “The New Pollution”

Spoon:

• “Don’t You Evah”
• “I Turn My Camera On”
• “Sister Jack”

Jimi Hendrix:

• “Spanish Castle Magic”
• “Voodoo Chile (Slight Return)”
• “Fire”

Pink Floyd:

• “Comfortably Numb”
• “Money”
• “Arnold Layne”

Sublime:

• “Smoke Two Joints”
• “Santeria”
• “Pawn Shop”

And single songs:

• The Dandy Warhols - “Bohemian Like You”
• TV on the Radio - “Wolf Like Me”
• !!! - “Must Be the Moon”
• Arctic Monkeys - “I’ll Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor”
• Styx - “Renegade”

And Scott put up a list for Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears, who would be insanely fun (and REALLY HARD) to play in RB–not impossible, either, as Harmonix has been pretty good to indie rock:

• Flight of the Knife
• Imitation of the Sky
• Son of Stab

I downloaded LCD Soundsystem’s 45:33 because it’s the first album I’d heard of that was specifically designed to be run to. Unfortunately it’s way too slow for that, but it’s still pretty good music. I had been rating everything on it three or four stars on iTunes, and suddenly–halfway through a song I’d already rated–I found my mouse hovering over the five-star button. Because somebody had started playing chimes.

This is a serious problem and I don’t know what to do about it. As soon as a song incorporates chimes, handbells or tone bars of any kind–especially, as they are often used, in counterpoint–I will unconsciously decide that it is the greatest song ever and listen to it ten times in a row. I can’t help it!

I would say that this is a flaw in my musical taste, but it is widely agreed that my musical taste already consists largely of flaws. This is a crack in the very foundations of my aesthetic sensibilities. It is a metaflaw. Chimes are a sloppy exploit for the kernel of my brain.

Someone recommend a song that will ruin chimes for me forever. I want to change.

Disturbingly, the songs I listen to while running have changed very little since I first posted them over two years ago:

• Beastie Boys - Sabotage
• BT feat. Mike Doughty - Never Gonna Come Back Down
• Fatboy Slim - Right Here Right Now
• Foo Fighters - All My Life
• Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American
• Jimmy Eat World - A Praise Chorus
• Lo Fidelity Allstars - Battleflag
• Lunatic Calm - Leave You Far Behind
• Pearl Jam - Do the Evolution
• Propellerheads - Spybreak
• Rob Zombie - Dragula (Hot Rod Herman mix)
• The Prodigy - Mindfields

Granted, I wasn’t running for most of that time, but I need some new music. The problem is that I’m selective about what will really propel me; it either has to conjure a very specific kinetic feeling or be pre-associated with it. Obviously it helps to have been in The Matrix.

So, innernet, what songs make you want to do angry flying kung fu? Bonus points if they’re on eMusic.

Remember that one scene in High Fidelity where John Cusack leans over to Moby and says “I will now sell five copies of The Three EPs by The Beta Band?” And then he plays “Dry the Rain” over the PA, and he’s right. Then you go out after the movie is over and buy The Three EPs yourself, and it turns out that “Dry the Rain” is the only good song so you sell it to a guy named Leslie?

I hate that.

I will now sell five copies of Annasthesia by The Cinematic Underground, the same guys who did the score for this one movie I liked. I will do it by directing you to click the “hi” link next to the song “My Dear Self.” You can listen to the whole album that way, if you like, in which case you’ll quickly find it’s not the only good song. Just the best.

On what album, if any, can you honestly say you never skip a track?

I will never say anything bad about Canada ever again.

Right now people searching for breakdancing videos still comprise the vast majority of my bandwidth users. That’s just not right, and we should fix it. But how, you say? By shooting breakdancers. The end!

Oh, and also: Jon’s got a new EP out, and you can download it! It’s called West State Line and it’s amazing to hear his music finally given the pro treatment it deserves. There are snares and backing vocals and even a little bit of string! Let’s listen to it together! I’ll make popcorn! I will also make calf eyes at you.

My favorite parts so far are Ghost Town, especially the bridge, and Meg White, which needs to be an indie anthem.

Dear anybody who may have told me about Sigur Rós: You did not tell me hard enough.