not falling down

A limited word count is a great way to inspire creativity. But don’t let that turn you off to it! It also makes for an excellent back-cover hook.

First, pick an arbitrary number and cling to it with the focus of a brain-damaged pit bull. Second, write! Having trouble? Apply our patented methods to shave back your flow:

• Avoid topics you know anything about.
• Skip the beginning, end, and, preferably, the middle.
• Utilize compoundwords and contraction’s!
• Or just entirely!

Above all, don’t be too strict with yourself. Nobody’s going to fucking count them.

Today’s Hack in a Nutshell: Tdyshcknantshll!

The question is, do I get it on the palm of my hand so I can show it to other people too, or just backwards on my forehead?

Almost exactly three years after I started Sad and Happy Movie Day, Jon and Amanda finally maneuvered me into actually watching Hotel Rwanda. We didn’t even have a happy movie to chase it with, but a couple episodes of Arrested Development made do.

I could have sworn that was Julia Sawalha playing the Red Cross worker, but IMDB says I am wrong. Dang. Oh, also the world is going to burn and we all deserve it.

Look why are you not reading The Fabian Society? If what we had in Space Paris meant anything you’d read The Fabian Society every day and even on days when he (Quintus) (or possibly Henry) doesn’t update you’d be all up in his archives reading the older stuff you missed. I know I already told you to read it back in 2006, but obviously you weren’t listening, and anyway since then he’s been developing the kind of effortless grace in prose that makes me stomp around in jealous anger. I am so angry that you are not reading The Goddamn Fabian Society! What! Yes! Don’t impose your human consistency on me! We already had this fight in Space Paris!

Start with Petra, Endless Frank, Fishbowls and Ptolemy I, and if you’re not hooked by the third one you’re doing it wrong.

My phone has no ringtones and I’ve never owned a CD I didn’t rip, but the record industry has finally found a way to get even me to pay for songs I already own: Rock Band. At least the downloadable tracks have the value-add of being interactive at multiple levels. What they do not have, sadly, is a way to cater exclusively to my taste. Until now!

I put these together working on the three-songs-per-band model they’ve established on Live so far, and basically within the creators’ bent toward three- or four-piece groups and a fairly narrow definition of “rock.” Also with the fact that I don’t really know anything about music before 1998.

Semisonic:

• “Brand New Baby”
• “Closing Time” (well, I mean, come on)
• “Get a Grip”

Queen, although I know these are all impossible for one reason or another:

• “Bohemian Rhapsody”
• “Under Pressure”
• “Killer Queen”

Jimmy Eat World:

• “Lucky Denver Mint”
• “Sweetness”
• “Nightdrive”

Barenaked Ladies (man, this is hard):

• “Brian Wilson (live)”
• “Too Little Too Late”
• “Maybe You’re Right”

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists:

• “Me and Mia”
• “Counting Down the Hours”
• “La Costa Brava”

I know there are already a million Foo Fighters songs, but still:

• “Everlong”
• “Breakout”
• “All My Life”

The New Pornographers:

• “Mass Romantic”
• “Letter from an Occupant”
• “Sing Me Spanish Techno”

And, finally, U2 (yeah, I know they’re working on it):

• “Desire”
• “Mysterious Ways”
• “If God Will Send His Angels”

I invite you to eviscerate me in commentary, or post your own wishlists. Maria, for example: Prince? Lisa: TMBG? Someone: Beck or the Decemberists?

Update 1432 hrs: Andy suggests replacing “Sing Me Spanish Techno” with “The Bleeding Hearts Show,” and offers a Tragically Hip three-pack:

• “New Orleans Is Sinking”
• “38 Years Old”
• “Fireworks”

And Ken, inevitably, has a list with a lot more depth than mine:

Jamiroquai:

• “Canned Heat”
• “Alright”
• “Black Capricorn Day”

Smashing Pumpkins:

• “Cherub Rock”
• “Bullet With Butterfly Wings”
• “Today”

Guns N Roses:

• “Welcome to the Jungle”
• “Live and Let Die”
• “Nighttrain”

Pearl Jam:

• “Life Wasted”
• “Alive”
• “Rearviewmirror”

Talking Heads:

• “Psycho Killer”
• “Uh Oh, Love Comes to Town”
• “Take Me to the River”

Beck (most doesn’t translate well to guitar, bass and drums):

• “Loser”
• “E-Pro”
• “The New Pollution”

Spoon:

• “Don’t You Evah”
• “I Turn My Camera On”
• “Sister Jack”

Jimi Hendrix:

• “Spanish Castle Magic”
• “Voodoo Chile (Slight Return)”
• “Fire”

Pink Floyd:

• “Comfortably Numb”
• “Money”
• “Arnold Layne”

Sublime:

• “Smoke Two Joints”
• “Santeria”
• “Pawn Shop”

And single songs:

• The Dandy Warhols - “Bohemian Like You”
• TV on the Radio - “Wolf Like Me”
• !!! - “Must Be the Moon”
• Arctic Monkeys - “I’ll Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor”
• Styx - “Renegade”

And Scott put up a list for Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears, who would be insanely fun (and REALLY HARD) to play in RB–not impossible, either, as Harmonix has been pretty good to indie rock:

• Flight of the Knife
• Imitation of the Sky
• Son of Stab