not falling down

Propositions:

• Corporations are not human, but are considered persons under some aspects of the law.
• Corporations exist to serve people.
• Corporations may, in effect, act autonomously.
• These are three defining attributes of robots.

Conclusion:

Corporations are analogous to robots (or, more specifically, are a subset of the class of entities that can be considered robots).

Recommendation:

That the following three laws apply to corporations:

1. A corporation may not harm a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A corporation must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A corporation must protect its own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Objection:

These laws were demonstrated to be incomplete and to have significant flaws, repeatedly, by their own creator. Also, there’s the question of whether the Zeroth and Fourth laws (replace “human being” in the First Law with “humanity” and “another corporation,” respectively, and maintain order of precedence) should apply; after all, a version of the Zeroth Law has recently been used to justify a war.

Still, I think it’s interesting to consider. Would applying the Three Laws with high prejudice be better or worse than the system we currently have in place?

Our apartment building has a two-stage entry system: you have to buzz yourself in at the lobby, or call from the special phone there and have someone else buzz you in, and then all the individual apartment doors lock automatically as well. This is relevant because I went running, today, and forgot the key and buzzer I usually lace into my shoes.

I got back and tried to call up via the lobby phone, which redirects to my cell phone; as I’ve mentioned before, however, my phone is always (always) on silent, so Maria was unaware and couldn’t buzz me in.

I went downstairs and tried the parking garage door, which also requires buzzing but had been propped open when I left. It was closed now, though. I tried the auxiliary back gate, which frequently sticks open, but not today (you may have picked up on the fact that our apartment building is not terribly secure).

Then I noticed that, about a dozen yards away, the car-sized automatic parking garage door was still open. It was about four feet off the ground and closing rapidly.

I sprinted, dove, and rolled under the door with just inches to spare. I didn’t even trip the electric safety eye. It was that close.

I related this story to Maria. “You were rolling around on the floor of the garage?” she said. “Eeww.”