not falling down

Five Great Things That Start with ‘G’

• Grover
• Grimbles
• Gnomic
• Goulash
• Gnomons

I’m unabashedly stealing a story from Sumana today–I can’t give her credit there, so I might as well do so here. If you’re clever, you might even figure out where it is.

Update 1343 hrs: Also, while checking something for said story, I managed to get Yahoo! Maps to produce a set of directions that concluded with “19: Arrive at the center of OHIO.“

“We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” Sure, but whose fear?

You know, if I were a Green Lantern, I’d just… like, carry a big flashlight with a blue filter on the end. Or spraypaint.

Yeah, so today’s Tuesday, not Monday. I don’t so much have class at 1100 hrs as I do, oh, right now.

First skipped class of the semester. One week in.

(Yale calls me and tells me that my brother is going to throw his desk off the roof of their house.)

Yale: … And there’s power lines and stuff down there, and I don’t think he should do it. So call him and tell him not to. Okay?

Me: Sure, Yale. (I hang up and dial Ian.) Can’t believe Yale’s trying to restrain Ian… (Ian picks up.) Hey?

Ian: Hey?

Me: Yale wants me to tell you not to

Ian: Already did!

Maria and I played the “Try To Name All 50 States” game a little bit ago. In eighth grade (which, incidentally, is when I acquired my spelling block about the word Massechuse- Massachusetts), I could have done that without batting an eye. Tonight, Maria got a perfect score. She beat me. By thirteen.

Hey, Street Legal’s famous! (Um, scroll down.)

Last night I forced Ken to eat the worst chicken parmesan I’ve ever made (Maria, wisely, pleaded a weak stomach) and then we made DC come over and randomly watched Empire. Which, you know what? Is a pretty funny movie.

For instance, up until Cloud City, somebody dies every time Darth Vader is on camera. He strangles people who take responsibility, he strangles people through the TV screen, he strangles people while other people pretend not to notice. And then there’s the part where one of the Star Destroyers gets hit by an asteroid, and its captain in the little holo-display looks horrified and disappears, and Vader doesn’t bat an eye. Or doesn’t act like it, anyway. Finally, at the end, after they barely lose the Falcon, Admiral Piett (who’s been standing around nervously as others fall like wheat the whole movie) watches Vader walk off in a cold silence and just swallows once. The expression on his face is great.

Maybe that’s the problem: thinking about the last two movies, I can only remember two jokes that didn’t involve Jar Jar.

Gave blood today. Hoping this doesn’t bode ill for the Street Legal debut later tonight. I’ll try not to throw anybody. Also, because of the way my blood sugar finger-prick and today’s blood iron finger-prick are positioned, I can squint at the middle and ring fingers of my left hand and pretend they’re a hammerhead shark.

Oh, and yeah. Project Improv is putting on a couple of non-improv comedies this weekend and next: Peace by Aristophanes and Fools by Neil Simon. I’m running sound for both, as is my wont, and Yale plays an old woman in the latter, so that pretty much guarantees all the fun you can have with or without pants. There’s some kind of afterparty thing (after every show) at Bearno’s, and Street Legal has been chain-ganged into performing something or other (after every show). Thus the debut. I won’t get to change clothes between now and then, so I’m going to be the only one not wearing jeans. Like… most of my life.

Have I ever mentioned that I don’t wear jeans? Well, I don’t.

Peace runs tonight, Sunday and next Saturday, and Fools alternates with that. I’d see Fools, if I were you, unless you’re really into Greek comedy. If you want to see anything at all. I’m… I’m just gonna leave, okay? We’re not really getting anything accomplished here.