not falling down

Last night I learned to play Hand and Foot, a kind of massively multiplayer Canasta, with Graham and Maria’s family. I also found out that I am a sore winner. HA HA HA.

Oh, right, and I updated Peeps I Read on the About page to include everything on my RSS aggregator, and some more stuff besides. Yes, you’re ALL ON THERE. This nearly tripled its length. Looking at it makes me a little bit scared. Next project is to update the rest of the page, which holds valuable archaeological evidence, dating back to the Last Summer Period.

Today I am boring, although tonight should be fun–Maria and I are implementing the trial phase of Hang Out On Bardstown Fridays. We will be abetted in this by Maria’s best friend Graham, who’s arriving probably any minute, chased by a dozen follow-spots and preceded by dancing Electric Rockettes as his plane makes its cacophonic dive-landing into a mountain of pianos!

Actually I really haven’t been boring today, it’s just that all my creative energy’s been invested in other, more secret writing-places. I guess a little of the psychedelia’s bleeding through, though. I mean, Electric Rockettes?

I don’t know, is it still cool to like Weekly World News? Are they pre-post-hip or something? I don’t know. I can’t keep up. What I do know is that a couple of years ago I used them as my very first GSP hall theme, including stringing up multiple copies in the stalls for Quiet Reading Time, and it was a smash. I think that’s when I really fell in love with them.

And I know one other thing, which is that even when their headlines are ambiguous, they’re still some of the most refined brilliance commonly available for what, two dollars?

Osama Recruits Cloned Hitler

I’ve got student loans out that I need to have deferred (since I’m in grad school). There’s a six-month grace period, so I knew that November 24th was the Absolute Final Deadline for me to tell my loan provider my situation.

I’ve been freaking out at least once every other day since, oh, July, about these facts, and knowing that I really have to get around to them, but by the time I was in a position to do so that day, I’d forgotten, or there was something more important, or… you know. So today, with the specter of debtor’s prison breathing hot and heavy on my neck, I finally dug out the envelope labelled “LOAN STUFF” and pawed through it frantically. What if my response didn’t get through the mail in time? They’d extract the interest from my knees with a lead baton!

Turns out that the loans I have from Centre are provided by the same people as the loans I have at Louisville. They already know. I don’t have to do anything until 2009.

I’m an idiot, but hey, load off my back.

Today, November 19, 2003 (11.19.2003 = 17 = 8!!) is hereby declared International Ridiculous Globe-Spanning Conspiracy Day. In celebration, everything you see or do today will be in the service of absurdly complicated, cabalistic, hidden maneuvers, set in motion millennia ago. Today, every crackpot conspiracy theory, even if it contradicts with another true conspiracy theory, is true–because these guys orchestrated all those as ways of distracting crackpot attention from their own conspiracy. They’re the metaconspiracy. They’re so subtle they make the Illuminati look like the Fourth of July (incidentally, 7.4.1776 = 32 = 5 and 5 + 8 = 13!!!!) fireworks show. They own everything. You really shouldn’t raise any kind of fuss. The only thing they don’t control, in fact, is this post telling you about it.

OR DO THEY?

Happy International Ridiculous Globe-Spanning Conspiracy Day!

“Public nudity is compulsory, euthanasia is illegal, military funding has been stripped back, and young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables.”

I went upstairs to the thirteenth floor (dun dun DUUNNN) (actually it’s called 14A, so maybe not) to return a borrowed book. Up there they’ve clearly had some personnel cuts, and most of the minicubes are defragged, which leaves a fifteen-foot-wide corridor between two banks of them. There’s exactly one occupied desk on those two banks. My thoughts on noticing this:

• Cool!

• But lonely.

“I didn’t get close enough to this bicycle tire spider to see what it was wearing (I’m not scared of all spiders, just ones who live life on the edge), but I’m assuming it had a flame-patterned skull cap tied around its head over those eight mean eyes, three of which work. It hadn’t woven a middle finger into its web; I checked.”

I twinned Audrey and Stephen. It only seemed right.

Speaking of friendblogs, I only just noticed that my first-year roommate and my friend Lauren were persuaded by the Centre PR department to keep travel journals when they went abroad. I’m pretty sure they’re both in DC (District, not David) now–Lauren living a sitcom, Ben… Ben doing Ben things. They’re both going to be President, possibly at the same time.

Patton admits 2 charges