The Story of King David
Once upon a time there was a king, and his name was David the Flora.
And King David WAS a good king, and his minions, they DIDST love upon him; and David the Flora was well pleased with them.
And his minions did ENJOY his presence; such that at certain times they WERE unable to keep from WRESTING him to the floor; and that at others they DIDST pile themselves upon him.
And there was among these minions ONE whose name was Alison.
And it CAME to pass that on a night in Virginia, David Flora DID bring himself unto Alison; and she held in her hand a long, flexible plastic lily, which she HAD stolen from a restaurant.
And Alison said unto David Flora, in a calm voice: “I’m gonna hit you with this.”
And David Flora DID smile, so that his eyes SEEMED almost to disappear.
And Alison said unto David Flora: “It’s probably gonna hurt.”
And David Flora SMILED again; for he WAS drunk on whiskey.
And Alison DID hit him with the flower, which was like unto a whip; and David Flora FELT greatly hurt.
And Alison DID hit him a second time; and both of these were in the top part of his breast.
And David Flora WAS in incredible pain, and he wept, and he was like unto a woman. And yea, Brendan Adkins did laugh so hard he almost WET himself.
Lord. That WAS so goddamn funny.
The End.
