not falling down

Scanned from the back of a box containing a supercheesy sweatband my primary roommate bought. I want to name an acoustic techno album “Super Super Thick.” Also, itcould be applied to lots of people I know in an entirely different sense, and in fact to the people who designed thisbox, because guess what, kids? “Ultimate” actually means “last.”

Possibly the most exciting spam offer I’ve ever gotten. And succinct!

I think that about says it all. Watch this space!

So yeah, I feel fairly awful about whining the othernight, as it turns out Emily was busy being stranded on the side of the road. I am a loser, but mostly I’m just gladshe (and Object B, who was driving) are okay.

Anyway. Yesterday morning, my uncle John gotup at some ridiculous hour and ran fiftykilometers. Fifty kilometers. Then he went home, had something to eat and went to an unusual retrospectiveof his work.

Uncle John makes custom birthday cards, and hasdone so since he was a teenager. A few weeks ago, my aunt Dana started sending letters to friends and family asking toborrow any cards we might have saved. Of course, everybody had saved everything–you don’t get a personal work of artin the mail and throw it away when you’re done.

They got enough cards to fill four rooms full of shelves (and they had leftovers). During the day it was an exhibitionfor clients; that night, when I got there, it was food and a jazz band and my uncle’s fiftieth birthday party.

It was one of the best gallery shows I’ve ever seen. The sheer volume of work and creativity and originality washumbling and inspiring and it still stuns me a little to think that I own at least a dozen of those original piecesmyself.

I think it was my tenth birthday when I got the foldout card. It was a huge battle scene my uncle had drawn and thenleft half-empty, inviting me to fill in the rest. It was perfect. It was one of the best presents I’ve ever received,and I could probably redraw it from memory.

I was a weird little kid, and if I’d been born to different parents I probably would have been a Ritalin poster child.The only things that could get me to sit still for ten minutes were a big fat fantasy book or a chance to draw with myuncle. I didn’t quite get all the genes that give him his talent, or maybe his dedication–he did better stuff atfifteen than I can hope for now–but everything I love about sequential art comes from trading panels with him on”Captain Zero” and “The Adventures of Petey.” That this site exists as more than a blog is due to him.

A dozen cards, a million comic strips. Happy birthday, Uncle John, and thanks for all my presents.

8:30 on a Friday night and I’m. Well. Not exhausted anymore, because I skipped Discrete out of desperation for sleep this morning–so I’m not tired so much as drained. The Comp Sci Project From Hell consumed two lives this week (Darren’s and mine) before we finally rose above it this afternoon, clutching The Most Efficient Path like the bloody head of some monstrous… uh, monster.

It did involve the creation (and subsequent destruction) of the Ninja Assassin Algorithm, though, and there’s something to be said for that.

That’s not the only thing that’s eaten my time, of course–let’s not forget The Giant Shakespeare Play From Hell (A Few Miles South Of The Comp Sci Project), The Double Whammy Tuesday Exams, The Last-Ditch Efforts To Keep A Friend From Transferring and of course The Overuse Of Capital Letters. Hooray for crunch time, and I think it’s entirely true that what doesn’t kill you blah blah blah, because I’m handling this better than I would have a couple years ago.

Even so, I’m struggling to find the motivation even to play a video game right now. I’m that kind of tired, whatever it is. it’s 8:45 on a Friday night and my girlfriend hasn’t called back.

Pics of the show! These all come courtesy of the Mandar and her mighty lens. First four are of Angie and whatshisface, and the next three are ofus. There are more on the roll–including the awesome one of us all hugging on the man himself–but unfortunately theydidn’t turn out. Consarn it!

Pics open in a separate window.

I said HELL YEAH. Show was amazing. Last time Angie played inCincinatti, 60 people showed up (the club can hold 140). This time there were maybe 40. That is a tragedy, what withhim having a wife and daughter to feed, but for us it was kind of a treat too.

Angie–it was just him and his drummer (Derek?)–played for at least two hours, sans set list, taking requests from thecrowd. About two of us, as I recall, were actually from Cincinatti; most of the rest were apparently just following himalong the Ohio River. And then there were the four college students sitting on the floor two feet from the stage,grinning like idiots. We would have danced, but then the people behind us wouldn’t have been able to see.

So yeah, basically they played whatever we asked for–all but two tracks on this album, plus good chunks of his first indie CD (seen above, autographed) and his new coversalbum. And it was great. It was incredible. They got the fullest sound out of one guitar and a JuniorMiss drum kit I’ve ever heard. Angie was wearing a Ramones t-shirt, which was kind of (situationally) ironic,because… Well. Bono always says the reason he started U2 was because he saw the Ramones and wanted to be in a rockband. I saw Angie Aparo, and now I want nothing more than to pack up my drums and piano and move into a van and play ina club every night for a hundred years.

(No worries, Mom. I can’t drive a van yet.)

Going to see Angie Aparo going to see Angie Aparo going to see Angie Aparooo!

(More after we have been to see Angie Aparo.)

and if you come withme
and if you let it be (on my way back home)

Pic above is scanned from the most recent Rolling Stone. Ifthey keep taking pics like that, I say more power to them, except for one thing: the “LOVE” in the headline belowshould read “HOT DIRTY SEX.” I guess this reveals my dirty little secret: to say that I have crushes on Lenny Kravitz and Usher Raymond is like saying “Alex had a little thing forDan.”

Struggling in class, persuading friends not to transfer and marathon rehearsals are really starting to get to me. Mycreative muscles are about as tired as my real ones, or I’d be updating this thing more often, and with more creativestuff.

As it is… well, I did manage to pull off a couple nother fancy code tricks. In the comic pages, the “Xorphtronic 3000″ label on the navigation menu is now a button that takes you to the mostrecent comic. On this page, the little x in the corner of every entry is now clickable, and will take you to a solopage with just that entry–useful for permanent links to a certain one, say. This is blatantly stolen from NewsBruiserat the brilliant crummy.com, but hey, property is theft.

hey, don’t write yourself offyet
it’s only in your head you feel left out

Two guys are driving past a field populated by a large number of cows. One of the guys turns to the other and says”What a big herd of cows! How many do you think there are?”

“Eighty-four,” says the second guy.

“Wow!” says the first guy, stunned. “How’d you figure that out so fast?”

“Easy,” says the second guy, “I counted their legs and divided by four.”

This is my Discrete professor’s idea of ajoke.

Somebody’s been searching a lot for “xorph.com” on Yahoo, repeatedly and regularly–like twenty times in less than amonth. A fine thing, in my opinion, but how long is it going to take him or her to figure out the address bar? Also,somebody found this site by searching for “elephant dildo” the other day. Believe it or not, that exact phrase has cropped up in here before. All the same, I’m hoping it was one of my friendswho’s in on that particular joke; if not, I hope it was someone who’s going to get help soon.

Speaking of help:

THAT MISTER HYPNOSIS IS A VERY BAD INFLUENCE YOUNG LADY!!!

When I mentioned “typical bloggers” last entry, I should have noted that there are exceptions to every rule, and that Iregularly indulge in a few of them. First off there’s Sean, who blogs like some kind of… of blog artist. I’ve been reading his stuff for like ayear because it’s some of the most quietly absorbing writing on the whole internet. I’ve been meaning to link himforever, so I’m not just doing this because he linked me first. I promise! I’m not really a whore!

Also high on my list of blogs to read (yes, I really have one) is Stephen, aka Imgruv2 on the forums.But his are feces-scrawlings of a diseased, bent mind, and probably dangerous. Reading them is kind of like watching anaked maniac with a pellet gun get trampled by zebras–funny, in a sick kind of way, but whoo what a smell.

Oh, and post script: I am mysteriously very happy, and it probably has a lot to do with this one girl, and I don’t knowwhy I was nervous, because it turns out that kissing is a lot like bicycles after all.

oooh your life is a mystery
why do you wear that… mask?

I like the fact that I no longer have to synchronize journal entries with IdiotCam© updates, and that I don’t haveto worry about my fans (all both of them) missing an entry and not knowing to go back to see it. Of course, this makesit likely that the journal entries will become sparser and less interesting, along the lines of your typical blogger. Oh well.

(Mom: you may wanna stop reading here.)

The purpose of this entry is this. Hear it.Know it. Fear it. Show it. RHYTHM METHOD ARE COMING AND YES WE MEAN THAT THE DIRTY WAY

(Almost forgot to mention that my primary roommate madethat, because he is King of Sick Beats. It still counts as Rhythm Method because I was a “consultant,” and because it’sfucking weird.)

feed the walrus