not falling down

While I was looking up IMDB stuff for Ms. D____ just now, I noticed that one of her newest roles is the lead in a film adaptation of Shopgirl. I picked that book up for a dollar at the same time as Microserfs and read it just afterward, so that caught my attention.

I can’t assume that anybody out there has actually read Shopgirl, because I don’t recall it doing spectacular business and I doubt it would have seen print if not for its author’s celebrity. Steve Martin plots well and his jokes are rare but good, but a) nobody actually prints standalone novellas and b) it’s pretty lame prose. He’s a comedy writer, not a novelist, so he apparently never learned things like “show, don’t tell.”

That said, the book will probably translate well to a movie, I applaud the casting of Jimmy Fallon as Jeremy, and it’s kind of cool that Martin’s writing the screenplay himself. But even without knowing the plot, doesn’t anybody else find it a little weird that he’s cast himself as a romantic lead opposite Claire Danes?

I spent a lot of time outdoors in the woods this past weekend, and only discovered Monday night the wealth of bug bites this had bestowed upon me. Naturally, they were all in (shall we say) a couple of delicate, sensitive and well-covered areas. Like right under my socks.

“Ah,” I thought, “bug bites. Fortunately I don’t scratch bug bites, because I have willpower!”

I believed that, too. What I didn’t count on was all the walking and bicycling and shoe-wearing I get to do in the summer, and the fact that I have to dress up for work now. By the time I got home last night, I was no longer mentally fit to stand trial. Black socks get hot, and they chafe.

At last, I tore off the beastly things and went at my ankles like a crazed badger. It was glorious, ecstatic, full-body pleasure; it was sex with a thousand Claires. I have no regrets.

I’m paying for it now, of course, but I have willpower again. I know I can resist. And most importantly, today I’m wearing white socks.

People are going to start complaining that Homestar Runner has sharkjumped soon, I know. Or “sold out” (even though the Brothers Chaps have been selling merchandise, and living off those sales, for quite some time). How do I know this? Because there was an article on the front page of Section E, or whatever, in the newspaper here last Sunday. Strong Bad’s gone mainstream, so it’s no longer cool to like him.

I’ve been saying for about three months now that Homestar would be in Rolling Stone within a year. Me personally, I think that’s a great thing; when I see entertainers I like making money,* it fills me with glee. I realize that in this, I stand in the minority of hipsters. A great many of my peers take a vicious pleasure in hating that which they once loved. Soon enough they’ll start with the “I really prefer the early stuff,” even though we’re well into late-era emails already and they’re fantastic. Dangeresque has actually ousted Trogdor from his place as my favorite email character, and I didn’t think I’d see that day, but here it is. Who knows what’s going to be next?

Not me. Not you. But it’s pretty clear they’re only getting better.

So yes, this is pre-emptive antibacklash. I know the bitching will commence or has commenced, and to its participants, I want to give a very special secret message:

SHUT UP. YOU’RE WRONG.

Thanks!

* I was going to say “hand over fist,” but honestly, does anybody even know what that means?

Maria emailed and told me to “have a great day downloading Japanese characters,” which makes it sound like I’m putting lots of little anime people on my work computer. I was going to clarify that, but then I was like no, let them wonder. So wonder!

I tried to download Japanese text support here at work just now, not so much because I read a lot of Japanese but because having the module would make it quit yelling at me whenever I try to read Megatokyo. I got this error message:

Unable to download at this time. The internet may be busy.

Come on now. That’s not even trying!