I’ve gotten to that point in the term
Where I’m ready to go home, and I’m done enjoying myself in Oxford, and I’m tired of learning things. Where every little thing that goes wrong gets me upset, when it normally wouldn’t. I keep trying to let everything roll off me, and stay positive, but I’ve just gotten to that point in the term when I’m done with it. It’s halfway, and I wish I were leaving tomorrow. Yesterday, I got one of my collections back. I got a 55, which isn’t good. I know that was the one I thought I wouldn’t do well on, but a 55 is still pretty low. And that was after the sucky essay and the sucky tutorial. I bit the inside of my lip, and it won’t heal, and it’s really painful, to eat, to drink, to smile, to talk. So I went to get some hydrogen peroxide, which apparently doesn’t exist in Oxford. I went to three different stores, two of them pharmacies, and could find it nowhere. So I got this other mouth stuff that I get at home, but it cost me 4 pounds, more than 8 dollars, for a pretty small bottle. When I normally pay less than 4 dollars for a really big bottle. Now I just left lunch, and as I was leaving I went to get an apple to take with me. Which I do all the time, and which another girl had just done a minute before me. And one of the waiter people told me I couldn’t take it. Which I was already mad because they never brought me a dessert, which I had signed in for. So I paid for something for my dessert, and I think I should have gotten to take that apple. I told him he never brought me a dessert, and he said he didn’t see me, which is ridiculous because people around me had left, so I was sitting there in plain sight at the first table next to the kitchen. I wish I would have said more, and said I paid for my dessert so he needed to bring me one or let me take the apple instead. But I didn’t. I just put the apple down and gave him a mean look and then ignored him. It makes me so mad. It’s part of the salad bar too. Which I had signed in for, so I had every right to have it. He said I needed to eat it in there if I wanted it. But what difference does that make? It’s not like I was taking a whole lot of fruit, just one apple. So now I’m going to try to read more than 100 pages of Chinese history for my next essay for my tutorial and hope it’s better than the last one. Then I have to finish the rest of the reading and try to get something together for my thesis tutorial tomorrow. And I want to have the reading done so I can get my essay done by Friday. I don’t know how I’m going to get it all done. The only thing I can do less of is talking to Kyle, and that’s the only part of my day that I enjoy, so I don’t want to give that up. I just want to come home. I can’t wait until June. I just keep telling myself it will all be over in June, and I’ll have my life back.