England Journal

I thought I would enjoy having all my work done quite early in 8th week, but now I’m bored out of my mind. I’ve been watching tv shows on my computer all day, and packing when I don’t really need to be packing. But I have nothing else to do. I guess I could go buy a book, but I have so many books at home. I don’t want to do more work because I’m just tired of it. So I sit around and eat and stare at my computer. Sarah and Celia came over today, which was fun, but then they both had meetings so we were done by around 3. So I thought I’d write in my blog, though there is nothing to write about. Oh well. Search for something else to do.

Yesterday I finished my last IR essay. I’ll still be writing essays next term, but they’ll be for revision, so it won’t be completely new topics. And I still have work to do on my thesis. I could have done some of that this morning, but instead I slept in and took my time getting ready. Now I’m waiting for Amanda to get here, and we’ll start making mashed potatoes for the MCR Thanksgiving meal. I have two more tutorials next week, but I really feel like I have a whole week ahead of me of nothing really challenging. I don’t know what I’m going to do with all my time. Thursday, I think I’ll be going to Sarah’s and we’re going to be lazy all day and watch movies. And each evening besides Thursday, I have things going on, but during the day I’m free. I figure I’ll sleep in each morning. I think my body is trying to fight off something, and I really don’t want to get sick. So lots of sleep and little stress will hopefully accomplish that. Maybe I’ll get a book to read for fun. Or maybe I’ll try to figure out how I’m going to study over the break or how I’m going to pack everything to get home. Just need to keep myself busy so I don’t think too much of home and get homesick. In a week I’ll be spending my last day in Oxford, going to Sarah’s for her birthday tea party. And then sleeping and going through the loveliness that is airport security. Well not much else to say, just trying to bide my time until I have to get up and cook.

Friends the TV show. This morning I got a package. I wasn’t expecting one, so I had no idea what it was. Turns out it was the key to Kristie’s bike that she said I could use. We kept missing each other over the summer, so she said she’d just mail it to me. So now I have to figure out which bike is hers, and then I have no excuse for not riding a bike to get places around Oxford. Just have to make myself get on it. I even brought a helmet over, so I don’t have that excuse either. I was talking to Ula after I got it, and I said all this stuff. And she said I’d be fine. Just to think of the episode in Friends when Phoebe tries to learn to ride a bike, and you’ll feel better about yourself. So now that she said that, of course, I came up to my room and searched for that episode online. I’ll let you know if there’s any progress on me riding a bike. After lunch, I plan on going to the back quad and seeing if I can remember which bike is hers.

As for other things in life. I performed terribly in my tutorial yesterday, but I knew I would, and I told Lee I was having trouble with this topic. So I just looked at it as a learning experience, and the tutorial did help me sort out the topic much better. Lee said it was a complicated topic, and he thought the structure I chose for my essay was what hindered me. So we talked about how I could have structured it differently. Yesterday I also worked on my thesis. I turned in two more chapters to Mark. So now I just have to write the last chapter, which probably won’t be too long and rewrite my introduction, which shouldn’t take long now that I have the rest of the thesis written. I’m not sure if we’re meeting this week or not. But even so, I feel like I don’t have that much to do. I usually don’t start my essay reading until Wednesday, but I might go ahead and start it today, but there isn’t that much to read. So when I feel like I have time, of course, I waste it instead of using it wisely. And that’s why I’m going to go watch this episode of Friends and maybe try to ride my bike this afternoon. So maybe it was a good time for me to get this bike key.

So I was just telling Sarah that I needed to write Suke because I hadn’t gotten my second collection back. My first one, I got a 55 on, a mid-2:2. I went and checked my pidge, and of course, my second collection was there. I was hoping I did better, but I didn’t expect too great a mark. So I told myself I just had to look at it, and forced myself to take it out of the envelope.

I got a 75!!!

Which I don’t know if I believe this guy really knows how to mark collections. Of course, he had all of 2 comments on it. One said, “could use some math” under a diagram I had used. And the other was the overall comments, which said “A very good exam.” But a 75 is a first, and well above the required 70 for a first. I was trying to figure out if that number could be read as any other number, but I’m pretty sure it has to be a 7, and the 5 is definitely a 5. So a 20 point difference between my collections. Pretty crazy. Also shows that I understand micro-economics much better than macro-economics, when it comes to applied stuff. And I’m using a lot of the economics of industry stuff in my thesis, so I guess it’s good I understand it apparently. I’m still sort of in disbelief. I was excited with my 68 on a collection last term, with a 70 on one of the essays. A 75 is unreal. And I’m still not sure if I should take that as really representative of what I can do on a real Oxford exam. But still, it brightens my day. Now I just have to go finish this awful essay that I’ve started for IR.

Jesse Jackson came to Regent’s today. He’s in England for something to get more black people to apply to Oxford. And since Regent’s is Baptist, we’re hosting a lot of the events. The first thing I could go to was a tea, followed by a question and answer session. Then I went to a worship service. He sort of said the same things at the question and answer session and in the service (which quite a bit of the sermon was very political), so the lecture tomorrow that I’m going to might have similar things too. But I’m going anyway. But at the tea, I was talking with Matt about revision classes for next term. And he came in, and he sort of came straight towards us, and shook our hands. Matt said, “He really sort of targeted us, didn’t he?” Which I guess we were standing somewhat in the middle of the room, so I don’t know if that was why or if we looked really American or if he heard our American accents and thought we would be good to shake hands with. Then later, I went to get some tea, and while I was waiting, he was standing a bit to my side, and he stepped forward and held out his hand again to me. I don’t know if my face is that forgettable or if I looked like I was wanting to ask him something. Which I was thinking about Kyle telling me I should get a picture with him. To which I said, I doubt I’ll be that close to him, I could just get one from far away. But of course, all I said was hi. I didn’t ask for a picture (which apparently somebody did, and they were told tomorrow they’re having professional pictures taken, which I guess we would have to pay for, so we can’t get our own). I also didn’t ask anything else. I couldn’t think of anything to ask. So I just said hi and smiled, like I always do. Not that I’m in that position that often, but sometimes I wish I wasn’t so shy. And I would take advantage of situations like that. I don’t know that much about Jesse Jackson, but still I wish I would have said something. Could have even just asked how he like Oxford. Sometimes I really frustrate myself. And I doubt tomorrow there will be another situation like that, so I missed my chance. Oh well. I still got to see him and hear him speak. And I got to meet him too. Twice.

One of my best friends, Alex Smiley, just got engaged. And as with everything, I found out through facebook. I’m so happy for her. And the guy is a really nice guy. I don’t think she reads this, but if you do, Congratulations!!!

Alex and I have been friends since she was in 2nd grade and I was in 3rd grade. Then she skipped a grade, mainly to skip my mom’s classroom and to be with me (haha). But don’t worry, she still got my mom as a teacher in middle school. She moved away in high school, but we stayed friends, calling each other and visiting each other on breaks from school. And when we were young, of course, we always talked about how we would grow up and go to the same college, and it would be so cool. Then as we got older, we realized that wouldn’t happen. And when we were making our college decisions, we didn’t tell each other where we were even looking. And then we called each other one day. And I said I was going to Georgetown, and she said, “You’re kidding me. Me too!” So we did go to the same college. And we’ve stayed friends, although sometimes it seems like we talked more when we were hours away from each other. But Alex is one of those girls who I know I will always be friends with, even if we aren’t as close as we once were. She’s one of the few friends I let myself cry in front of. And she even called a guy she liked a bad word when he made me cry in middle school. She’s the only person I ever got in trouble school-wise with. I still claim I wasn’t really doing anything wrong. I had forgotten to do some definitions for homework and remembered that morning before school. Her parents always brought her early, and my mom was a teacher so I was always there early. So I started copying her definitions, which is basically the same as looking them up in the dictionary. Then my mom came by, and told us how disappointed she was in us.

It was weird for me to think of Lindsey getting married to Chris, and I had only known her through high school and college. To think of Alex being married is going to be even weirder since we used to play with Barbies together. There are too many stories to recount here. And sometimes I feel like I’ve missed out on being involved in this part of her life because I’ve been in England the whole time she’s been dating this guy. But I guess that’s a sacrifice I made to come over here. And hopefully when I get home, I’ll get to know the guy better. I’m so happy for her, I even got teary-eyed while looking at their engagement pictures. I know, pretty bad.

I went to the box office of one of the theaters here in Oxford today with some other girls, and we got tickets to see Cinderella, the opera by Rossini, performed by the Welsh National Opera. I might have already written about this, but we got tickets for 10 pounds for next Saturday night. So I’m very excited. And I got my essay done an hour earlier than I usually do, and I feel sort of good about it. That could mean that it’s terrible, but let’s just hope not. So I’m in a really good mood. I guess sometimes the first half of a week has to suck, and they call it 5th week blues here in Oxford. It’s that hump that you just have to get over before being able to really look forward to the end of term. So now I can look forward to the opera and only having two essays left. Oh and the waiter guy who didn’t give me my dessert the other day, came up to me and said he would make sure to get me my dessert today. So I got it, and it was a good dessert, so I’m glad.

I guess I just needed to get some complaining out. Today, I did get all my reading done, except for a book that he said to research specific instances. I had my tutorial, which Mark had forgotten I was coming to because we had switched days. He had also forgotten to read my chapter draft, but I had some other stuff to talk about, and he seemed impressed with what I had. So I decided that if one of my tutorials is going well, usually the other one is not. I’ve had the first four weeks go well with IR, and now hopefully I’ll have good ones for my thesis. Then I had dinner with the new girl heading the international programs at Georgetown who is here now, and the other Georgetown girls.

AND (this is the most exciting since I capitalized “and”) just now I had my first Russian lesson with Kyle! He took me through the alphabet by typing them in skype chat and then telling me how to pronounce them over skype. Not the best way to learn because sometimes our voices are little harder to understand when you’re going over pronunciation, but it’s fun and this will get me started. Which by the way, I decided I’m going to learn Russian so Kyle and I will be cool like Ula and her boyfriend who can just go into another language and speak to each other. And now he’s quizzing me by sending me stuff typed in Russian in advertisements. He says I’m doing well, but he might be biased.

Where I’m ready to go home, and I’m done enjoying myself in Oxford, and I’m tired of learning things. Where every little thing that goes wrong gets me upset, when it normally wouldn’t. I keep trying to let everything roll off me, and stay positive, but I’ve just gotten to that point in the term when I’m done with it. It’s halfway, and I wish I were leaving tomorrow. Yesterday, I got one of my collections back. I got a 55, which isn’t good. I know that was the one I thought I wouldn’t do well on, but a 55 is still pretty low. And that was after the sucky essay and the sucky tutorial. I bit the inside of my lip, and it won’t heal, and it’s really painful, to eat, to drink, to smile, to talk. So I went to get some hydrogen peroxide, which apparently doesn’t exist in Oxford. I went to three different stores, two of them pharmacies, and could find it nowhere. So I got this other mouth stuff that I get at home, but it cost me 4 pounds, more than 8 dollars, for a pretty small bottle. When I normally pay less than 4 dollars for a really big bottle. Now I just left lunch, and as I was leaving I went to get an apple to take with me. Which I do all the time, and which another girl had just done a minute before me. And one of the waiter people told me I couldn’t take it. Which I was already mad because they never brought me a dessert, which I had signed in for. So I paid for something for my dessert, and I think I should have gotten to take that apple. I told him he never brought me a dessert, and he said he didn’t see me, which is ridiculous because people around me had left, so I was sitting there in plain sight at the first table next to the kitchen. I wish I would have said more, and said I paid for my dessert so he needed to bring me one or let me take the apple instead. But I didn’t. I just put the apple down and gave him a mean look and then ignored him. It makes me so mad. It’s part of the salad bar too. Which I had signed in for, so I had every right to have it. He said I needed to eat it in there if I wanted it. But what difference does that make? It’s not like I was taking a whole lot of fruit, just one apple. So now I’m going to try to read more than 100 pages of Chinese history for my next essay for my tutorial and hope it’s better than the last one. Then I have to finish the rest of the reading and try to get something together for my thesis tutorial tomorrow. And I want to have the reading done so I can get my essay done by Friday. I don’t know how I’m going to get it all done. The only thing I can do less of is talking to Kyle, and that’s the only part of my day that I enjoy, so I don’t want to give that up. I just want to come home. I can’t wait until June. I just keep telling myself it will all be over in June, and I’ll have my life back.

Which I guess since it’s fifth week, it’s pretty good that I got through 4 good tutorials. I don’t really know what went wrong. I didn’t like the question, I didn’t like my essay when I handed it in, and I didn’t like how I did in the actual tutorial. I think I just misinterpreted the readings, and it all went downhill from there. I guess I just have to do better next week.

On the bright side, I’m halfway through the term and more than halfway through my tutorial. And I rewrote one of my thesis chapters. And after this weekend, I think my time here is going to go quickly. Next week, Jesse Jackson is coming to Regents so there are a few events for that that I’m going to. Then that weekend, I’m going to see the Welsh National Opera perform Cinderella, which will be fun. I’ve been to ballets, musicals, operettas, and plays but never a real opera. We also might have a girls night at Sarah’s that weekend. The next weekend is Thanksgiving, and the Stanley Road people are having a dinner one night and Sarah is having a dinner that I’m going to on Saturday night. So as long as they don’t conflict, I’ll get two Thanksgiving dinners, although I’ll miss being home. By Monday I’ll be done with my tutorial. Then the next weekend is Regents Advent dinners and choirs, and on Sunday I get to come home. Yay!!