Seeing Stars on May Day
I think I’ve come close to fainting more than the average person, most usually when I try to give blood and realize they shouldn’t have taken as much as they did because I weigh less than I thought I did. But the first time I came close to fainting was during a soccer practice or a game. I can’t remember which, but I got overheated because I don’t sweat much, especially when I’m out of shape. And then I came close to fainting, but my coach told me to put my head between my knees and it was all okay after a bit. The first time I actually fainted, I realized why they show stars around cartoons’ heads when they get knocked out. I gave blood at Central in high school, and I became that kid who fainted who everybody talks about. They thought I was faking because I apparently had a smile on my face. I was sitting next to Kyle, across from Railey White, trying to watch her lips as she talked and keep them in focus and thinking to myself, “I hope I don’t faint.” And then I woke up a few minutes later, lying down in a chair across the room from where I’d been. Then I gave blood at GSP, and after sitting up and seeing stars, told the guy I thought I was going to faint so I had to lie down for a while and sip Sprite out of a straw before they let me leave. So I know how it feels when I’m getting ready to faint.
We had an erg today, and I was doing well. Breathing right, sweating some, until we were doing a 1k really hard as fast as we could. I had about 150 meters to go when I started seeing stars. Nicola said she started to worry when my lips started turning blue. I didn’t faint. I put my head between my knees and breathed really hard for a while, then went outside and laid down on the metal platform with my feet on the stairs. I finally drank some water and went back inside, with a sore throat and my awful cough that comes from ergs. I puffed my inhaler a couple times. I had done it before the erg too. And now I’m okay. Hannah said not to lose my confidence over it, if I had been in the boat I would have definitely finished, and my posture and form were really good and my rate was really good up until the end. But I’m so mad at myself. I was so close to finishing and in a good time, but I just had to stop. I wonder if I could have finished, but I think I did the right thing in stopping. I know how I feel when I’m getting ready to faint, and the last thing I wanted to do was faint. I just hope this doesn’t move me in the boat. The ergs are what kill me when it comes to rowing. Put me in the boat, I’m good. Put me on an erg, I suck.
But I know I can’t dwell on it, or else I’ll get depressed, and I’ve been so positive lately. So I’m writing about it, and hopefully that will help. I need to work on my presentation for econ, but I really don’t want to. I want to talk to someone, but Kyle’s taking his last final at UofL. My mom is teaching at the school where her phone doesn’t get service. Kim and Lee aren’t online. And Jennifer is up in the JCR in a meeting, I’m guessing, because I saw her bike but she’s not in the library. And Celia is buying a cake for her birthday, which was today, on May Day.
On May Day in Oxford, everyone goes to this bridge where a choir sings at the top of a building and then there are morris dancers as well as many other types of dancers. Most people stay up all night drinking and then go to see the celebrations being very drunk at 6 in the morning. They have to close the bridge now because people would jump off it into very shallow water with sharp things in it and injure themselves, being taken to the hospital shortly after. Apparently, this year, people just waited until the police were gone and jumped a little later, but no serious injuries. Celia and I slept and then got up at 5:30 to see the celebrations at 6 in the morning. I fell asleep last night around 8:30, so I did fine on sleep, though it was broken sleep. Yihlyn and Verity didn’t make it, but Celia and I went, as did Jennifer, Taylor, Tyler, and four other Regent’s people. I got a balloon from G&D’s and took lots of pictures. And then we had breakfast in the JCR. So it was a pretty exciting morning. And the day started out well. So I should focus on that instead of this afternoon. And now I should try to do some work. We’ll see how that goes.